What Are You?: A Sexuality Glossary




Please keep in mind that this list is rudimentary, and that what comes with language is its ability to adapt, mutate and change.  Terms are presented to you for the purpose of communication, and this list should hardly be considered an authoritative source.

ALLY: A person who confronts heterosexism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, heterosexual privilege, and so on, in themselves and others out of self-interest and a concern for the well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and other queer-related people, and who believes that heterosexism is a social injustice.

ANDROGYNE: A person with traits ascribed to males and females. Androgyny may be physical, presentational, or some combination.

ASEXUALITY: A sexual orientation generally characterized by not feeling sexual attraction or a desire for partnered sexuality. Asexuality is distinct from celibacy, which is the deliberate abstention from sexual activity. Some asexuals do have sex. There are many diverse ways of being asexual.

BIGENDERED: Having two genders; exhibiting cultural characteristics of male and female roles.

BIPHOBIA: Fear or hatred of people who are bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, or nonmonosexual. Biphobia is closely linked with transphobia and homophobia.

BISEXUAL: A person whose primary sexual and affectional orientation is toward people of the same and other genders, or towards people regardless of their gender.

CISGENDER: A gender identity that society considers to “match” the biological sex assigned at birth. The prefix cis- means “on this side of” or “not across from.” A term used to call attention to the privilege of people who are not transgendered.

COMING OUT: Describes voluntarily making public one’s sexual behaviors, or sexual or gender identity. Related terms include: “being out,” which means not concealing one’s sexual behaviors or preference or gender identity, and “outing,” a term used for making public the sexual behaviors or preference or gender identity of another who would prefer to keep this information secret.

CROSSDRESSER (CD): The most neutral word to describe a person who dresses, at least partially or part of the time, and for any number of reasons, in clothing associated with another gender within a particular society. Carries no implications of “usual” gender appearance, or sexual orientation. Has replaced “transvestite,” which is outdated, problematic, and generally offensive, since it was historically used to diagnose medical/mental health disorders.

DRAG KING: A woman who appears as a man on a temporary basis; she may or may not have any masculine expression in her usual life. Generally in reference to an act or performance. 

DRAG QUEEN: A man who appears as a woman on a temporary basis; he may or may not have any feminine expression in his usual life. Generally in reference to an act or performance. 

FTM (F2M): Female-to-male transsexual or transgender person. Someone assigned female at birth who identifies on the male spectrum.

GAY: A person (or adjective to describe a person) whose primary sexual and affectional orientation is toward people of the same gender; a commonly-used word for male homosexuals.
GENDER: A social construct used to classify a person as a man, woman, or some other identity. Fundamentally different from the sex one is assigned at birth.
GENDER EXPRESSION/PRESENTATION: How one expresses oneself, in terms of dress and/or behaviors that society characterizes as “masculine” or “feminine.” May also be androgynous or something else altogether.  Some people differentiate between the two terms.
GENDERFLUID: Being fluid in motion between two or more genders; shifting naturally in gender identity and/or gender expression/presentation. May be a gender identity itself. Refers to the fluidity of identity.
GENDERFUCK: A form of gender identity or expression, genderfuck is an intentional attempt to present a confusing gender identity that contributes to dismantling the perception of a gender binary.
GENDER IDENTITY: A person’s internal sense or self-conceptualization of their own gender. Used to call attention to the self-identification inherent in gender. Cisgender, transgender, man, woman, gender queer, etc. are all gender identities.
GENDERISM: The belief that there are, and should be, only two genders and that one’s gender or most aspects of it are inevitably tied to the assigned sex.

GENDER NON-CONFORMING (GNC): A person who does not subscribe to gender expressions or roles expected of them by society.

GENDER OUTLAW: A person who refuses to be defined by conventional definitions of men and women. A term popularized by Kate Bornstein in her book of the same name.

GENDERQUEER: A person whose gender identity and/or gender expression falls outside of the dominant societal norm for their assigned sex, is beyond genders, or is some combination thereof.

GENDER VARIANT: A person whose gender identity and/or gender expression varies from the culturally-expected characteristics of their assigned sex. 

HETEROSEXISM: The assumption that all people are or should be heterosexual. Heterosexism excludes the needs, concerns, and life experiences of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and other non-monosexual people as well as asexual, transgender, and intersex people, while it gives advantages to heterosexual people.  It is often a subtle form of oppression which reinforces realities of silence and invisibility.

HETEROSEXUALITY: A sexual orientation in which a person feels physically and emotionally attracted to people of the “opposite” gender. 

HOMOPHOBIA:  The irrational hatred and fear of homosexuals or homosexuality.  In a broader sense, any disapproval of homosexuality at all, regardless of motive.  Homophobia includes prejudice, discrimination, harassment, and acts of violence brought on by fear and hatred.  It occurs on personal, institutional, and societal levels, and is closely linked with transphobia, biphobia, and others.

HOMOSEXUALITY: A sexual orientation in which a person feels physically and emotionally attracted to people of the same gender. This term originated within the psychiatric community to label people with a mental illness, and still appears within the current discourse, but is generally thought to be outdated.

INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA: The fear and self-hate of one’s own homosexuality or non-monosexuality that occurs for many individuals who have learned negative ideas about homosexuality throughout childhood.  One form of internalized oppression is the acceptance of the myths and stereotypes applied to the oppressed group. 

INTERSEX: People who naturally (that is, without any medical interventions) develop primary and/or secondary sex characteristics that do not fit neatly into society’s definitions of male or female. Many visibly intersex babies/children are surgically altered by doctors to make their sex characteristics conform to societal binary norm expectations. Intersex people are relatively common, although society’s denial of their existence has allowed very little room for intersex issues to be discussed publicly. Has replaced “hermaphrodite,” which is inaccurate, outdated, problematic, and generally offensive, since it means “having both sexes” and this is not necessarily true, as there are at least 16 different ways to be intersex.

LESBIAN: A woman whose primary sexual and affectional orientation is toward people of the same gender.

LGBT:  Abbreviation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender.  An umbrella term that is used to refer to the community as a whole.

MTF (M2F): Male-to-female transsexual or transgender person. Someone assigned male at birth who identifies on the female spectrum.

NON-MONOSEXUAL: People who have romantic, sexual, or affectional desire for more than one gender. Bisexuality is the most well-known form of non-monosexuality.

OMNIGENDERED: Possessing all genders; exhibiting cultural characteristics of male and female. The term is specifically used to refute the concept of only two genders. 

PANSEXUAL, OMNISEXUAL: Terms used to describe people who have romantic, sexual, or affectional desire for people of all genders and sexes.  Used by many in place of “bisexual,” which implies that only two sexes or genders exist.

POLYGENDERED, PANGENDERED: Exhibiting characteristics of multiple genders; deliberately refuting the concept of only two genders.
QUEER: Anyone who chooses to identify as such. This can include, but is not limited to, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered people, intersex people, asexual people, allies, leather fetishists, freaks, etc. Not all the people in the above subcategories I.D. as queer, and many people NOT in the above groups DO.   This term has different meanings to different people.  Some still find it offensive, while others reclaim it to encompass the broader sense of history of the gay rights movement. Can also be used as an umbrella term like LGBT, as in “the queer community.”
SAME GENDER LOVING: A term used by some African-American people who love, date, and/or have attraction to people of the same gender.  Often used by those who prefer to distance themselves from the terms they see as associated with the “White-dominated” queer communities.
SEX: A categorization based on the appearance of genitalia at birth. Refers to the biological characteristics chosen to assign humans as male, female, or intersex.
SEXUALITY:  The components of a person that include their biological sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, sexual practices, etc.
SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  an enduring emotional, romantic, sexual, and/or affectional attraction.  Terms include homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual, non-monosexual, queer, and asexual, and may apply to varying degrees. Sexual orientation is fluid, and people use a variety of labels to describe their own.  Sometimes sexual preference is used but can be problematic as it implies choice.
STRAIGHT: A person (or adjective to describe a person) whose primary sexual and affectional orientation is toward people of the “opposite” gender.
TRANSFAG: A trans male-identified person who is attracted to/loves other male-identified people.

TRANSGENDER: Used most often as an umbrella term, and frequently abbreviated to “trans” or “trans*” (the asterisk indicates the option to fill in the appropriate label, ie. Transman). It describes a wide range of identities and experiences of people whose gender identity and/or expression differs from conventional expectations based on their assigned biological birth sex. Some commonly held definitions:
  1. Someone whose behavior or expression does not “match” their assigned sex according to society.
  2. A gender outside of the man/woman binary.
  3. Having no gender or multiple genders.
  4. Some definitions also include people who perform gender or play with it.
  5. Historically, the term was coined to designate a transperson who was not undergoing medical transition (surgery or hormones).

TRANSITION: An individualized process by which transsexual and transgender people ‘switch’ from one gender presentation to another. There are three general aspects to transitioning: social (i.e. name, pronouns, interactions, etc.), medical (i.e. hormones, surgery, etc.), and legal (i.e. gender marker and name change, etc.). A trans* individual may transition in any combination, or none, of these aspects.

TRANSSEXUAL (TS):  A person who perceives themselves as a member of a gender that does not “match” the sex they were assigned at birth. Many pursue hormones and/or surgery. Sometimes used to specifically refer to trans* people pursuing gender or sex reassignment.

TRANS MAN: Also referred to as FTM.

TRANSPHOBIA: A reaction of fear, loathing, and discriminatory treatment of people whose identity or gender presentation (or perceived gender or gender identity) does not “match,” in the societally accepted way, the sex they were assigned at birth. Transgendered people, intersex people, lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, and other non-monosexuals are typically the target of transphobia.

TRANS WOMAN: Also referred to as MTF.

TRYKE: A trans female-identified person who is attracted to/loves other female-identified people.

TWO SPIRIT: These terms describe indigenous people who fulfill one of many mixed gender roles found traditionally among many Native Americans and Canadian First Nations indigenous groups. These roles included wearing the clothing and performing the work that is traditional for both men and women. Dual-gendered, or “two-spirited,” people are viewed differently in different Native communities.  Sometimes they are seen without stigma and are considered emissaries from the creator, treated with deference and respect, or even considered sacred, but other times this is not the case. “Two-spirit” is the closest thing to an appropriate umbrella term in referring to these gender traditions among Native peoples.  However, even “two-spirit” is contested in modern usage.

WOMYN: Some people spell the word with a “y” as a form of empowerment to move away from the word “men” contained in the “traditional” spelling of women.


Borrowed from Patrick Califia, Emi Koyama and countless others.

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Kyle Phoenix Presents: This Impeccably Designed $20,000 House Could Soon Be Yours on The Kyle Phoenix Blog



For years, students at Auburn University's Rural Studio have been building cheap houses for impoverished locals. Now their designs are going mass market.
Ask anyone at Auburn University's Rural Studio about what makes the architecture program's housing designs unique, and someone will proudly tell you about the refrigerator. "We can spend four days discussing where a refrigerator goes," explains Rural Studio's 20K House product line manager Marion McElroy. That's because, unlike other design firms, Rural Studio students have been perfecting a series of radically affordable, well-designed 550-square-foot houses for nearly a decade--and they've been building them exclusively for residents of impoverished Black Belt Alabama.
Now, in the program's 20th year, Rural Studio is looking to finally put its $20,000 house out on the larger market.
Tim Hursley
If you've heard the term "social justice architecture" before, it's probably owed to the work of Sam "Sambo" Mockbee, who founded Rural Studio in 1993. By creating a program where architecture students would use reclaimed wood or other materials to design houses for low-income residents of Hale County, Mockbee established a discipline in which students ripped from the Ivory tower would have the opportunity to float their designs for real people.
Rural Studio started making the 20K house in 2005, keeping in mind the assumption that $20,000 was the total cost of housing someone living on Social Security could afford to pay in monthly mortgage installments. Since then, students have built 12 houses for their rural neighbors, with each design building off the knowledge and real-world experience of the last. The last 20K house built included passive heating and a safe-room in the shower, after the Moore tornado ripped through Oklahoma and killed 23 people earlier this year.
Tim Hursley
This fall, Rural Studio is hosting a fundraising competition to build eight more 20K houses, and beyond that, project manager McElroy is working with design firms to get student drawings up to the professional snuff needed to roll out a mass product. For its 20K City Challenge, Rural Studio is attempting to raise $160,000 by December 6, asking donors from different cities to compete to reach fundraising goals. The cities that are first to reach $20,000 and raise the most money will each have 20K houses named after their locales.
"We see the 20K house as a moral obligation," says Rural Studio director Andrew Freear, adding that free student labor and an unmatchable learning opportunity had created what was essentially a cheap, custom-tailored design service for Hale County.
"We also wanted to get serious," he adds. "In 2010 we said we could continue to be academics playing around with this as an idea, but what happens if the rubber meets the road? We said, let's start talking to bankers about this, let's start talking to builders about how they could be built."
But that's where the 20K house gets tricky. Its most desirable attribute also happens to be a bit of a curse. Unlike mobile homes, which, like cars, depreciate in value, the 20K houses have been appreciating sharply. The last 20K home they checked, McElroy tells me, was worth $42,000, after being built for $20,000 a little less than a year before.
"It costs the same amount to underwrite a $150,000 as a $20,000, so there's always pressures to raise the cost of the house, whether it's from the bank lending the money, whether its from the builder looking to make a profit, whether it's from the real estate agent," Freear says. In order to keep the 20K house at $20,000, Rural Studio is looking to partner with nonprofits that will help make sure their good design stays affordable.
In the meantime, Freear says it's a bit difficult for him to let the nit-picked, hyper-optimized 20K designs loose in the world. "My anxiety is always that we find a better solution each year," he says. "We've designed this thing to an inch of its life."

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Kyle Phoenix Presents: Fantasy Hollywood: restaging classic films with black models on The Kyle Phoenix Blog

Fantasy Hollywood: restaging classic films with black models

When two Dakar-based photographers messed with some very familiar screen moments, they were taken aback by the racial dimension to the response
  • Black Hollywood Breakfast
Breakfast at Onomo’s, 2013. Photograph: Antoine Tempé
Back in the 80s, my classmates and I piled into Mbabane’s local cinema to watch Top Gun. We’d turn to each other, channeling our best version of Val Kilmer to spout “You can be my wing man anytime” – followed by intense laughter. Who doesn’t have a favourite line, an iconic moment from film lodged in our minds? 
Dakar-based photographers Omar Victor Diop and Antoine Tempé were counting on just that, the shared experience and ubiquity of film, when the hotel group Onomo International invited them to create a series of photographs using the hotel as a backdrop. They turned to the silver screen, to iconic moments they’ve held onto to and mined for their collaborative project, ONOMOllywood.
In 20 images that pay homage to characters such as Truman Capote’s Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's, these reinventions begin with the a humble “what if…” A question looking to how popular global cultural translates to the local, what could it look like, and what new memories would it create. The project has created conversation, accolades and blowback, but in an interview with Another Africa, Diop takes it all in stride.

Black Hollywood American Beauty
American Beauty, 2013. Photograph: Omar Victor Diop

Missla Libsekal | Representational art usually puts artists in the hot seat, audiences tend to have strong opinions. For example Samuel Fosso’s self-portraits as famous political figures or Pieter Hugo’s Nollywood series. Mimicry steps on the nerve of nostalgia, the sacred or even challenges the status quo. What tale does ONOMOllywood tell and does it hit any nerves?
Omar Victor Diop | ONOMOllywood is a celebration of cinema, as an artistic discipline and of the magic of a great movie. For Antoine Tempé (the co-author of the series who created 10 out of the 20 images) and myself, what makes a great movie is the fact that the strength of its characters, plot and scenes transcends all geographic, temporal and racial barriers. A great movie is more than a series of sequences, it becomes a moment that is lived across the globe by people who have very little in common, but who relate to extraordinary stories that allow them to dream.
The example I always give is the magic of a James Bond movie; back when I was a kid, I didn’t care whether Roger Moore was white or black, or whether I was a British citizen… to me, he was a hero I could impersonate. After watching A View To A Kill, I firmly believed my pajamas were a tuxedo and that my mom’s kitchen was actually some concrete jungle where I would chase after criminals… That’s what cinema has brought to me and it still somehow does, to my adult life. A great movie is a dream.

Black Hollywood Psycho
Psycho, 2013. Photograph: Antoine Tempé

ONOMOllywood did hit some nerves, especially in the US: after one of my interviews was published on CNN.COM . We were taken aback by the racial dimension of some readers’ comment. To my great surprise, I realised that this series could be seen by some as a sort of “revenge” of black people against a too “white” Hollywood. The “race war” in the comments section was quite epic!
It was rather amusing to see the way some readers resolutely eluded the fact that this project is the product of a collaboration between a French-American photographer and a Senegalese photographer. It was “just some black dude painting Hollywood in black because the world looked better like this”.
I guess this can be explained by a set of contextual factors. The article about ONOMOllywood was published in late July 2013, after a heated debate over a series of race-related affairs like the Trayvon Martin case in the US, a series of blackface incidents in fashion magazines in Europe, etc. I guess people from both sides were already prepared to shoot at anything that could be seen as an attempt to see the world from a racial perspective… Interesting experience indeed, we’re glad this project started a conversation in other continents, that’s the purpose of art, even though for us, ONOMOllywood remains a celebration, a well deserved homage to geniuses of cinema, to timeless moments.

Black Hollywood Frida
Frida, 2013. Photograph: Omar Victor Diop

The series has received quite a bit of attention, particularly in the press and through social media, what if any part of this journey has surprised you?
Apart from the reactions this series provoked in some parts of the world, I was personally surprised to see to what extent this exposure confirmed my belief that people share the same visual references across the globe. I grew up here in Dakar, a tiny Francophone country which has always been very open to influences from anywhere in the world. I remember when my sisters used to go to the Indian movies back in the 80s and how it was THE THING to do on a Wednesday afternoon. We loved Michael Jackson just as much as we looked up to Youssou N'Dour and Congolese rumba master Tabu Ley.
People like to think this world is getting smaller due to the internet, but I think it has always been quite an incredibly tiny village. Last year, I had the chance to go to Panama City for a biennial of contemporary arts, and one night I was invited to a function at some Cuban diplomat’s residence, I started singing along to a Cuban classic rumba song and people were stunned. They couldn’t believe that people of my age grew up listening to Celia Cruz (La Guantanamera) and Tito Puente and Johnny Pacheco, for instance. These were huge stars in Africa too, back in the 60s and 70. Small world!

Black Hollywood Matrix
The Matrix, 2013. Photograph: Omar Victor Diop

When you first conceived this project, did you have particular audience in mind?
We did expect this series to be shown in various parts of the world indeed, but we certainly had no idea it could go this viral before it was even unveiled. We regularly receive letters and emails from many unexpected places; a few weeks ago, we saw on the internet that a lecture was given about ONOMOllywood to post-grads in a Brazilian university. Yhis is incredibly rewarding and humbling.
How did you choose the 20 film scenes, and which are your favourites?
Antoine and I brainstormed for quite a while, and then when we agreed on the idea of paying homage to our favourite cinematic moments, each of us was free to make his own list. Of course, some movies were on both lists, and at some point, we had to bargain.

Black Hollywood Chicago
Chicago, 2013. Photograph: Omar Victor Diop


Senegal has a rich history in cinematic film with notable names like Ousmane Sembène, Djibril Diop Mambéty etc. Did this influence your project in any way?
The series comprises scenes from various movies, mostly American and French, and even though Antoine and I are both very fond lovers of Senegalese/African classics, we didn’t include any of these in the series, mainly because we want to dedicate a future project to this fantastic era of African Cinema. Stay tuned!

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Kyle Phoenix Presents: Why Do Poor People 'Waste' Money On Luxury Goods? on The Kyle Phoenix Blog


Why Do Poor People 'Waste' Money On Luxury Goods?


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AP Photo

My family is a classic black American migration family. We have rural Southern roots, moved north and almost all have returned. I grew up watching my great-grandmother, and later my grandmother and mother, use our minimal resources to help other people make ends meet. We were those good poors, the kind who live mostly within our means. We had a little luck when a male relative got extra military pay when they came home a paraplegic or used the VA to buy aJim Walter house (pdf). If you were really blessed when a relative died with a paid up insurance policy you might be gifted a lump sum to buy the land that Jim Walters used as collateral to secure your home lease. That's how generational wealth happens where I'm from: lose a leg, a part of your spine, die right and maybe you can lease-to-own a modular home.
We had a little of that kind of rural black wealth so we were often in a position to help folks less fortunate. But perhaps the greatest resource we had was a bit more education. We were big readers and we encouraged the girl children, especially, to go to some kind of college. Consequently, my grandmother and mother had a particular set of social resources that helped us navigate mostly white bureaucracies to our benefit. We could, as my grandfather would say, talk like white folks. We loaned that privilege out to folks a lot.
I remember my mother taking a next door neighbor down to the social service agency. The elderly woman had been denied benefits to care for the granddaughter she was raising. The woman had been denied in the genteel bureaucratic way -- lots of waiting, forms, and deadlines she could not quite navigate. I watched my mother put on her best Diana Ross "Mahogany" outfit: a camel colored cape with matching slacks and knee high boots. I was miffed, as only an only child could be, about sharing my mother's time with the neighbor girl. I must have said something about why we had to do this. Vivian fixed me with a stare as she was slipping on her pearl earrings and told me that people who can do, must do. It took half a day but something about my mother's performance of respectable black person -- her Queen's English, her Mahogany outfit, her straight bob and pearl earrings -- got done what the elderly lady next door had not been able to get done in over a year. I learned, watching my mother, that there was a price we had to pay to signal to gatekeepers that we were worthy of engaging. It meant dressing well and speaking well. It might not work. It likely wouldn't work but on the off chance that it would, you had to try. It was unfair but, as Vivian also always said, "life isn't fair little girl."
I internalized that lesson and I think it has worked out for me, if unevenly. A woman at Belk's once refused to show me the Dooney and Burke purse I was interested in buying. Vivian once made a salesgirl cry after she ignored us in an empty store. I have walked away from many of hotly desired purchases, like the impractical off-white winter coat I desperately wanted, after some bigot at the counter insulted me and my mother. But, I have half a PhD and I support myself aping the white male privileged life of the mind. It's a mixed bag. Of course, the trick is you can never know the counterfactual of your life. There is no evidence of access denied. Who knows what I was not granted for not enacting the right status behaviors or symbols at the right time for an agreeable authority? Respectability rewards are a crap-shoot but we do what we can within the limits of the constraints imposed by a complex set of structural and social interactions designed to limit access to status, wealth, and power.
I do not know how much my mother spent on her camel colored cape or knee-high boots but I know that whatever she paid it returned in hard-to-measure dividends. How do you put a price on the double-take of a clerk at the welfare office who decides you might not be like those other trifling women in the waiting room and provides an extra bit of information about completing a form that you would not have known to ask about? What is the retail value of a school principal who defers a bit more to your child because your mother's presentation of self signals that she might unleash the bureaucratic savvy of middle class parents to advocate for her child? I don't know the price of these critical engagements with organizations and gatekeepers relative to our poverty when I was growing up. But, I am living proof of its investment yield.
Why do poor people make stupid, illogical decisions to buy status symbols? For the same reason all but only the most wealthy buy status symbols, I suppose. We want to belong. And, not just for the psychic rewards, but belonging to one group at the right time can mean the difference between unemployment and employment, a good job as opposed to a bad job, housing or a shelter, and so on. Someone mentioned on twitter that poor people can be presentable with affordable options from Kmart. But the issue is not about being presentable. Presentable is the bare minimum of social civility. It means being clean, not smelling, wearing shirts and shoes for service and the like. Presentable as a sufficient condition for gainful, dignified work or successful social interactions is a privilege. It's the aging white hippie who can cut the ponytail of his youthful rebellion and walk into senior management while aging black panthers can never completely outrun the effects of stigmatization against which they were courting a revolution. Presentable is relative and, like life, it ain't fair.
In contrast, "acceptable" is about gaining access to a limited set of rewards granted upon group membership. I cannot know exactly how often my presentation of acceptable has helped me but I have enough feedback to know it is not inconsequential. One manager at the apartment complex where I worked while in college told me, repeatedly, that she knew I was "Okay" because my little Nissan was clean. That I had worn a Jones of New York suit to the interview really sealed the deal. She could call the suit by name because she asked me about the label in the interview. Another hiring manager at my first professional job looked me up and down in the waiting room, cataloging my outfit, and later told me that she had decided I was too classy to be on the call center floor. I was hired as a trainer instead. The difference meant no shift work, greater prestige, better pay and a baseline salary for all my future employment.
I have about a half dozen other stories like this. What is remarkable is not that this happened. There is empirical evidence that women and people of color are judged by appearances differently and more harshly than are white men. What is remarkable is that these gatekeeperstold me the story. They wanted me to know how I had properly signaled that I was not a typical black or a typical woman, two identities that in combination are almost always conflated with being poor.
I sat in on an interview for a new administrative assistant once. My regional vice president was doing the hiring. A long line of mostly black and brown women applied because we were a cosmetology school. Trade schools at the margins of skilled labor in a gendered field are necessarily classed and raced. I found one candidate particularly charming. She was trying to get out of a salon because 10 hours on her feet cutting hair would average out to an hourly rate below minimum wage. A desk job with 40 set hours and medical benefits represented mobility for her. When she left my VP turned to me and said, "did you see that tank top she had on under her blouse?! OMG, you wear a silk shell, not a tank top!" Both of the women were black.
The VP had constructed her job as senior management. She drove a brand new BMW because she, "should treat herself" and liked to tell us that ours was an image business. A girl wearing a cotton tank top as a shell was incompatible with BMW-driving VPs in the image business. Gatekeeping is a complex job of managing boundaries that do not just define others but that also define ourselves. Status symbols -- silk shells, designer shoes, luxury handbags -- become keys to unlock these gates. If I need a job that will save my lower back and move my baby from medicaid to an HMO, how much should I spend signaling to people like my former VP that I will not compromise her status by opening the door to me? That candidate maybe could not afford a proper shell. I will never know. But I do know that had she gone hungry for two days to pay for it or missed wages for a trip to the store to buy it, she may have been rewarded a job that could have lifted her above minimum wage. Shells aren't designer handbags, perhaps. But a cosmetology school in a strip mall isn't a job at Bank of America, either.
At the heart of these incredulous statements about the poor decisions poor people make is a belief that we would never be like them. We would know better. We would know to save our money, eschew status symbols, cut coupons, practice puritanical sacrifice to amass a million dollars. There is a regular news story of a lunch lady who, unbeknownst to all who knew her, died rich and leaves it all to a cat or a charity or some such. Books about the modest lives of the rich like to tell us how they drive Buicks instead of BMWs. What we forget, if we ever know, is that what we know now about status and wealth creation and sacrifice are predicated on who we are, i.e. not poor. If you change the conditions of your not-poor status, you change everything you know as a result of being a not-poor. You have no idea what you would do if you were poor until you are poor. And not intermittently poor or formerly not-poor, but born poor, expected to be poor and treated by bureaucracies, gatekeepers and well-meaning respectability authorities as inherently poor. Then, and only then, will you understand the relative value of a ridiculous status symbol to someone who intuits that they cannot afford to not have it.
McMillan Cottom is a Graduate Fellow at the Center for Poverty Research at UC-Davis. Find her work at tressiemc, where an earlier version of this post was originally published, or follow her on Twitter @tressiemcphd.
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"Stock Photo: New York - September 13: Model Walks The Runway At The Oscar De La Renta Spring/Summer 2012 Collection During New York Fashion Week On September 13, 2011 In New York City." on Shutterstock.

Kyle Phoenix Presents: PRINCE FILES $22 MILLION LAWSUIT AGAINST FACEBOOK & BLOGGER USERS on The Kyle Phoenix Blog



There is so much that can be said about this Prince lawsuit and we could literally talk about it all day. On the one hand, everyone knows how much Prince hates when people post his videos or songs without paying him or whatever he wants for it at the time. On the other hand, he’s been out for so long that the only way some people are even familiar with him is because of the internet and the uploads.


But we’ll get back to that.


Prince is suing 22 members of Facebook and Googele’s Blogger for copyright violations and wants to see each of them pay $1 million. Here’s the scoop from Spin.com:


“According to the 21-page complaint filed in U.S. District Court in San Francisco (via Antiquiet), the defendants “engage in massive infringement and bootlegging of Prince’s material.” The lawsuit targets Dan Chodera, Karina Jindrova, and 20 anonymous defendants. Chodera and Jindrova allegedly operated a no-longer-online Facebook account that posted a bunch of bootleg Prince videos. The other defendants — “Does” 1 through 20 — are accused of similar infractions, such as pointing to a 1983 Chicago set from WorldofBootleg.blogspot.com. Hey, we’d like to hear that one.


Prince asks for a jury trial, which, though highly unlikely, would have to make for some fascinating courtroom drama. In addition to the $22 million total in damages, Prince wants the defendants permanently blocked from infringing on his copyrights. He also wants them to forfeit any money they may have made from his music — with interest — and to return any “unlawful materials” to their rightful Purple custody.”


Prince is not a stupid man and surely he knows that the chances of any of these people having $1 million to fork over is slim to none, so we’re thinking this is more of a symbolic lawsuit more than anything. He really does not want anyone posting anything having to do with his music that he cannot control…or at least get paid for in the process.


There’s got to be a better fix for this situation. Prince and his team are probably prepared to sue everyone they can find illegally posting his music but maybe a better solution is that he hire a videographer and post them himself to a website that he charges a fee (I know, I know) to become a member. That probably won’t stop it in full but that’s a better way to monitor everything.


What do you think about this lawsuit? Is Prince alienating an entire generation of would be fans by trying so hard to shut people down who post his music?


Enjoy!
www.KylePhoenix.com

Kyle phoenix Presents: Top 15 Industries That Breed Millionaires on The Kyle Phoenix Blog

Top 15 Industries That Breed Millionaires

Wealth management company reveals industries with highest percentage of male, female millionaires
It turns out some industries are better suited to churning out millionaires than others. Some might argue that these days it doesn’t matter what you do, it’s where you do it. While the struggle continues for equal pay in offices across the country, it may be the right time to look into which industries actually offer a better chance of producing enormous wealth for the lucky few Americans that can get their foot in the door.
RELATED: Check out breakdown charts below.
So which industries create the most female millionaires and which ones mint the most male millionaires?
The folks at leading wealth consultancy companyWealthInsight provided the website Spear’s with exclusive data outlining the industries that currently breed the most male and female millionaires.
According to their statistics and computations, the top industry for producing female millionaires is the media industry. That’s followed by the financial services and investments sector.
Male millionaires? The financial services and investments sector leads, accounting for 16% of all male millionaires. It’s followed by the expanding tech industry and then manufacturing and retail.
The point of this article is two-fold. To acknowledge the ever-increasing numbers of female millionaires globally and the fields and industries where they actually make their money. Female millionaires dominate newer industries, like media, retail, fashion, hotels, and restaurants and leisure. Industries such as basic materials – which covers mining and agriculture -and manufacturing remain the stomping grounds of male millionaires.
Here’s a chart breaking the industries down for females.
Percentage of female millionaires per industry:

(Image: WealthInSight)

The chart for the industries that produce the most male millionaires is on the next page:

Percentage of male millionaires per industry:

(Image: WealthInSight)
WealthInsight compiled the data using its proprietary database of more than 100,000 HNWIs worldwide


Enjoy!
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Kyle Phoenix Presents: Madonna - Justify My Love (video) on The Kyle phoenix Blog





Because I love Lenny Kravitz!

Kyle Phoenix Presents Madonna - Erotica - Uncensored on The Kyle Phoenix Blog

Kyle Phoenix Presents: Madonna - Bad Girl (Video) on The Kyle Phoenix Blog

Kyle Phoenix Presents: Madonna - Oh Father (Video) on The Kyle phoenix Blog





One of my personal favorite songs----probably because of the strings and softened arrangement that builds to a crescendo----I have a thing for crescendoes.



Enjoy!



www.KylePhoenix.com

Kyle Phoenix Presents: Madonna - Papa Don't Preach on The Kyle Phoenix Blog

Kyle Phoenix Presents: James Baldwin and America's "racial problem" on The Kyle Phoenix Blog

Kyle Phoenix Presents: Malcolm X - Debate with James Baldwin - September 5, 1963 on The Kyle Phoenix Blog

Kyle Phoenix Presents: Trump’s Tactics and Hillary’s Persuasion Game (Scott Adams Interview) on The Kyle Phoenix Blog



The BEST interpretation and examination of persuasion tactics used by politicians towards people!

Enjoy!

www.KylePhoenix.com

Kyle Phoenix Presents: HOW TO ACCEPT HOMOSEXUALITY - explained by Hans Wilhelm on The Kyle Phoenix Blog



Do you accept others?  Yourself?

Enjoy!


www.KylePhoenix.com

Kyle Phoenix Presents: SNL Feb 4th Melissa McCarthy as White House press secretary Sean Spicer on The Kyle Phoenix Blog

Kyle Phoenix Presents: Communication and Men's Emotional Needs in a Relationship Five Things Your Man Wants to Hear from You on The Kyle Phoenix Blog

Communication and Men's Emotional Needs in a Relationship
Five Things Your Man Wants to Hear from You

by Seth Tate


We often hear or read about what women want, what women want to hear or the dozens of other variations of how to please or appease a women's needs. But what about men? We rarely read about what men want to hear from women. Women often question men's emotional needs and frequently reduce the essence of men to having one thing on their minds, all the time! Evolutionary psychology has proven otherwise.



Men have emotional needs too, albeit not as much as women. Before we consider what your man would like to hear from you, let's first consider the most vital key to proper communication; effective listening. Although we're discussing what your man wants to hear from you, we also want to ensure that when your man does communicate - even though it may be on rare occasions - that you're able to detect what he truly wants to hear from you. God gave all of us two ears and a single mouth so that we may hear twice as much as we speak! Effective listening will enable you to pick up on those warning signs that his emotional needs are not being met.

Women (and Men), you often ask your men to be more in touch with their emotional side, well here ya go! Here are five things your man wants to hear from you!

1. "I'll support you in any endeavor you choose." We've all heard the saying: Behind every good man, there's an even greater woman. Well, we're not insisting you stay behind your man, but as the song goes, "Stand by your Man," that's all we ask. Support us in what we set out to accomplish and you'll be amazed at what we can do when a woman we love dearly accepts and encourages us in every which way. This segue ways into the next thing we'd love to hear from a woman.


2. "I accept you and all that you are… and I do mean all!" Acceptance from a loved one outside of our immediate family, for many of us, is the essence of a romantic linkage, and yet many relationships fail for this very reason, due to couples not accepting each other in every shape or form. Don't try and change your man. Accept him for who he is, or move onto someone more compatible. Thinking of him as a pet-project to place your passion into molding him will only drive him away, whether it's emotionally (likely to occur first) or physically.


3. "We are a team, baby!" A romantic connection, much like any other relationship, should be built upon the foundations of solid communications, mutual missions and a shared vision. It's a tough world out there, and yet it only seems to get increasingly tougher. Just because we're men doesn't mean every ounce of burden should be placed upon us, even though at times we insist it! Sometimes, we simply want to hear you say things that elicit an intangible bond, which if shaped properly, is unbreakable.


4. "You are hot (and I mean it)!" Let's face it - everyone - men and women love to get checked out, and getting checked out and being reassured that not only have you been checked out but the beholder endorses you with a resounding stamp of approval, feels great! In fact, it's a feeling unlike many others … and when a random, spontaneous statement such as, "Babe, you look hot today," is often much better than the ubiquitous, "I love you," or the heaven forbid humdrum line of, "You look good."


5. "I love you no matter what." Hearing the words "I love you" from the (special some) one you love has become expected. It's common usage and over usage has, in some contexts, made it a loaded phrase. Do all who use it truly know the phrases implications? Or have our standards of love lessened in these harrowing global times? Society projects many roles men must follow and fit into, or at least are implied. We're forced to make grand attempts and take major risks. We feel the need to do all these things, and somewhere in the back of our minds, is the possibility of failure. Most men - scratch that - anyone would want to hear, from their loved ones, that they will be loved no matter what the outcome of any given situation is. Even if they have failed. This is the hallmark of unconditional love... the truest and arguably the only form of love.

From a woman's perspective within the context of her current relationship, many of these may be tough to genuinely say, and yet the thought of saying them may very well be a test to determine whether your current relationship is as significant as you thought.

Enjoy!

www.KylePhoenix.com

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Kyle Phoenix Presents: Exactly How 'Black' Is Black America?: 100 Amazing Facts About the Negro: Find out the percentage of African ancestry in black Americans. on The Kyle Phoenix Blog

Exactly How 'Black' Is Black America?




The Redemption of Ham by Modesto Brocos y Gómez
Editor's note: For those who are wondering about the retro title of this black history series, please take a moment to learn about historian Joel A. Rogers, author of the 1934 book 100 Amazing Facts About the Negro With Complete Proof, to whom these "amazing facts" are an homage.

(The Root) -- 100 Amazing Facts About the Negro No. 18: How much African ancestry does the average African American have?
A few years ago, it occurred to me that it might be fun to try to trace the family trees of a group of African Americans all the way back to slavery, and then when the paper trail disappeared, analyze their DNA through biologist Rick Kittles' company, AfricanAncestry.com. The payoff would be to reveal the ethnic group from which their maternal or paternal slave ancestors descended back in Africa. We would trace their family trees using the massive number of records now digitized by websites such as Ancestry.com, and supplement the paper trail using new tools of genetic science to find more distant details about each person's ancestry. My goal was to create a contemporary version of the television series Roots -- think of it as Roots in a test tube, Rootsfor the 21st century.

The result has been four PBS series on genealogy and genetics, starting with African American Lives and2, featuring guests such as Oprah Winfrey, Quincy Jones, Maya Angelou and Tina Turner, and Faces of America, in which we included guests from across the ethnic spectrum, such as Meryl Streep, Yo-Yo Ma, Dr. Oz and Stephen Colbert. These four-part series proved to be popular enough for PBS to ask us to do a weekly program, Finding Your Roots, which aired on Sunday nights for 10 weeks this past spring. And soon we will be filming season two.

Making these series has been quite a learning experience for me, especially in terms of the genetic makeup of the African-American people. So, for The Root, I asked five DNA companies who analyze our guests' ancestry if we could publish for the first time their findings about the ancestral origins of the African-American community. (By "African American," I mean descendants of African slaves brought to this country before the Civil War, not recent African immigrants.) How African -- how "black" -- is the average African American? The results astonished me, just as they have surprised the guests on our TV show, and I think they'll surprise you as well. But before revealing those results, I want to provide a short introduction to the secrets that DNA holds about a person's ancestry.

What a DNA Test Can Reveal About Your "Racial" or Genetic Roots
Many of the DNA tests that we give our guests today didn't even exist a decade ago. One of the genuine pleasures of making Finding Your Roots has been working with some of the world's most brilliant geneticists and introducing their exciting new technologies to a broad lay audience. These new tests measure what scientists call "autosomal DNA," which can be used to figure out how much of your ancestry traces to each of the world's ancestral populations, people who lived in a particular geographical region, say, 500 years ago, via an "admixture test." Or a test can be used to identify long stretches of identical DNA that two individuals share, therefore establishing the fact that they are related genetically even more recently from a common ancestor, and thus are cousins.



In other words, if we could produce an ideal family tree for two individuals being tested, one person would appear by name on both of their family trees. Analyzing your autosomal DNA allows you to find your "lost" ancestors by connecting you to these genetic relatives. These DNA companies have features such as "Cousin Connect" (Ancestry.com), "Family Finder" (Family Tree DNA) and "DNA Relatives" (23andme.com) that automatically inform you of your cousins who are located in their databases. And most exciting of all, adoptees can use it to find biological parents, or we can even find children born out of wedlock to one of our ancestors, discovering blood relatives we never even knew we had.

When I started producing Finding Your Roots, I thought that the emotional high point for an African American would be learning the ethnic origin of their mother's or father's family line, all the way back to Africa. After, all, that's what Roots was ultimately about, right, finding one's "Kunta Kinte moment"? And learning one's African ethnic origins has proven to be quite meaningful to our guests. But to my surprise, among the most moving revelations to many have been learning the actual names of long-lost ancestors who were slaves and second, learning their admixture results.