Thursday, March 1, 2018

Kyle Phoenix Answers: Why do older gay men tend to be more attracted to me than younger ones?

Age effects gay men differently by social surroundings because the same benchmarks by society aren’t in place to adhere to.
Hetero World Defines and Organizes for Heteros: School, pre adult romances, adult romance, engagement, marriage, children, life building, retirement, death.
A lot of the structural stuff thrown at men is based on women being a part, partner, in their aging/maturity. So Valentine’s day, cotillions, proms from grade school on up, are geared towards opposite sex coupling.
Practice, heterosexuals get more practice at being heterosexual because all heterosexuals are “out” and accepted for being heterosexual.
If you’re not hetero it’s individualistic and situational whether your family, town, city, school, has a place for your sexuality and which one of those you’ll have to change and adjust.
Parents barely school their offspring in hetero sex much less same sex.
I challenge men in workshops with, when did your father talk to you about how to properly give a blowjob to a man?
Or how to relax and enjoy anal sex?
When did your mother give you her grandmother’s wedding ring to give to that special someone?
When did your parents assure you that if you met someone they’d help you by paying for the ceremony, a house, a vacation?
Hetero sex is sanctioned, approved.
Economic behaviorists talk about we get better at economic choices when we make more of them—-which is why it’s so hard for people to get rich. You go to the store for groceries, you’ve been doing it for 30 years, you’ve mastered that process because you’ve done it thousands of times. You go to buy a car, how many times in your life have you bought a car? 3? 5? You go to buy a house, how many times in your life?
Now how many times have you picked a mate, a same sex one?
Heteros get more time in the beginning but as gay men age they get more experiential time in sexual experience, emotional experience, dealing with rejection, have more resources to share and understand that part of coupling isn’t equality it’s sharing what you have freely. They are more grounded and hopefully, mature so not as emotionally fragile or shallow, are more conscious of the finiteness of time and pleasure of good choice verses random choice with hope of a good outcome.
So older gay men hit on you because they’re better at being gay, their biology also presses them as it does hetero men to pick the most viable biological hosts for their “seed”—-though two gay men can’t procreate together—-the topping, bottoming, pheromones, semen play, etc. doesn’t mean that there isn’t an undercurrent desire there to share, give, impregnate—-it’s just not studied and recognized about what a bottom is biologically not emotionally seeking in bottoming and as so for topping. Sexuality study is still in the infancy of cause to justify and validate but has yet to graduate to how being a human translates throughout sexualities, the biological imperative, no matter sexuality.
One of the most interesting aspects of biological pressing is the fashion industry. Women are considered by males the most biologically fertile at the ripe of puberty—-16 or so——so much of fashion and movies are for that “look”, that age because it’s when the male as a species sees women as able to be impregnated. Women socially have adopted that as an ideal—-they think or override for vanity reasons—-but really it’s because that’s when the most males pay attention to them , first , in their lives.
How does that translate to gay men?
He rationally knows he can’t impregnate but that doesn’t mean the early blossom doesn’t catch his biological eye—-simply type in Daddy, uncle, older male porn—-it’s greater than same partner age porn.
But what if so many of the older men are bottoms? Then what? The testosterone/estrogen balancing in individuals as primary Alphas or Betas occurs in aging males as lessening testosterone and increasing weight, more estrogen comes into play. So bottoming older men are biologically seeking to receive men, semen, pheromones—-again there are bits and pieces of male to male biological sex reasons because cause of sexuality overshadows examining it.
In workshops, when I question gay men about why they want to bottom they talk about how enveloping it feels, penetrating desires, infusion, semen and pheromone based attraction and obsessions (another whole thing in gay porn—-it’s where a lot of the whole facial shot thing comes from and barebacking and breeding—-giving/getting semen).
Its fascinating to try and get men to answer age and biology questions about their sexuality without stigma from other gays or their societal oppression training.
But that’s the complicated, multilayered answer to old chasing young I’ve gotten in about 15 years of work.
Systems Integrationist, writer, teacher, entrepreneur
Watch 

Follow Me on 

No comments:

Post a Comment