Thought Provoking

Black & Latino Men And Their Success by Kyle Phoenix

I've worked a lot over the years, towards my own personal version of success.  I've had the unique opportunity to have worked for several Black and Latino MSM organizations as a coordinator, a teacher, a counselor.  One of the things that comes up is the role of success as individuals and within the framework of dating and/or becoming a couple.  A point, a problem that comes up between men is the imbalance of success.  Men are socially taught to compete with one another, so what happens when you're emotionally and sexually tied to the competition?

I've had the experience of doing well, seemingly from the outside, we all look better, simpler, sleeker, more successful from the outside.  The work from the inside, the nights of unwavering focus, the hours working on projects is rarely seen by those who then look at the train in motion.  Even this, the world wide web of Kyle Phoenix in blogs, books, TV show, newsletters, magazines, book tours, classes, is like the tip of the iceberg to all the work and time I've had to put in.  So when old friends come back and make comments, suggest simplicity to my outcomes or worse yet, throw some shade onto it, I wonder, aloud and privately, if it's just man to man competition.  But then I got some green envied flack from a female friend too.  So it comes up between friends too.

But maybe what connects these observations and experiences is the target, an MSM Black man.  I wonder if within the paradigm of others thinking of me, was I suppose to ever be successful?  I mean I could be the bestie who goes to bars and strip joints and to shop with and go to the movies but was I suppose to ever move outside of that box?  Was I suppose to do more than go to a 9 to 5 job and earn a certain number and complain about my job and express constant misery at the rat race?  What was I suppose to be?

I remember when I would be counseling other men, couples, about this issue and I never thought so many in my life would attack, vanish minimize my own success.  I get so many accolades, from new friends, from strangers from grateful students....and that's fantastic.  But what about the past?  What I've learned so far is that success is a process of steps and in those steps you move from one frame to another, like a movie script.  In high school, my high school lover never moved from the neighborhood and I realized that then.  In college, several past loves have settled into being all the things they railed that they would never become---staid, boring, stuck in the rat race at jobs that don't even fit their degrees.  Then in my adult years---friends and lovers---have fallen into two categories----those who weren't doing what their highest success would be and those who were.  Now I see that there is a bridge, a choice, a path from which one you'll be.  The one trying to materialize your success and not.

There isn't much expected of MSM.  Beyond titillation and sex and fabulousness and occasionally activism, people, even MSM, expect very little of MSM, especially Black and Latino men,  Maybe school, maybe a job.  But definitely hung.  Definitely fabulousness.

So if you're out there, trying.  If you're trying to do something, something incredible.  Know this: they all can't come with you.  In fact, as I learned from Lisa Nichols, the doorway of change, of one's personal success is only big enough for one person to fit through.  You go through alone.  You go through the doorway, through a hallway for years, alone.  Maybe you come out on the other side and decide to go back, to retrieve relatives, old friends.  But a lot of them can't come.  That's the price of success, that's the secret of success: you have to know you can't bring most of the people you know with you.  That's what the guy you're with or want or pine for or dumped you knows---that in order to walk through the doorway to success in a business, in a marriage, in love out of the closet with you----he'd have to let so many people go that he'd be alone.

And most people are terrified of being alone.
The second price of success is you have to be able to tolerate, endure being alone.
The third price is this insight comes to you when you're through the doorway, when you're far enough through the hallway that when you look back, when old friends, relatives and perhaps eve new lovers yell at you from the threshold of your doorway to come back, to be with them, to let go of your efforts.  But maybe their words, their comments, your regrets are the last vestiges of ashes flaking off as you go to and become the new thing....that perhaps our strictly heterosexual counterparts aren't as lambasted from breaking the confines of.

Or perhaps they too have their own confines, it's just not as pronounced or sexuality related?

Why I'm An Undecided Voter by Kyle Phoenix

Ironically, I try to stay out of politics.  I say ironically because I've held an appointed political position and I often have to teach politics to teens and adults from a current to historical perspective.  This year long----I don't even know what to call it----gearing up to a Presidential choice has saddened me.  That saddening has made me reticent to "get behind" any of the 4----yes, there are 4 candidates.  One thing that I will say before I get into my mini-rant is that I don't make choices/vote from a perspective of whether I personally-emotionally "like" a candidate.  I see candidates as public employees and my vote as my "hiring" of them.  Oh, and I really dislike and find it disrespectful from sides that scream at me why I should follow them.  Because we all know that being screamed at how wrong you are is exactly what has transformed all of our opinions throughout life.

I'm also deeply concerned about real issues being relegated to non-issues in this election.  Like racism, misogyny, emails, immigration, integrity and the environment  Somehow in the swarm of dualism, the perception that there are only 2 candidates, and therefore two ways of considering the lection and it's issues we've lost sight of this as a leadership role instead of a popularity/agreement contest.  The other day I was strolling along thinking about my undecidedness and I thought about Trayvon Martin and Michael Garner and Sean Bell and about Syrian refugees and Obamacare and Newtown and Detroit and unequal pay and persistent poverty for 40-60 million Americans.

I believe that it takes time for humanity to progress, to move along, to evolve but I also believe that if we are pushed in to only two choices, that's not a choice.  Evolution is not bullying by two political parties to accept one over the other because of disappointment in the current political system or repudiation of negative social traits of a candidate.  What happened to an alignment to hope, to evolution, to progress?  Is gender or it's now this or that one's turn the best progress we can make?  Are there no new ideas?

These past few years have given us an increase in racialized violence frm a police force, armed by the military to no longer be simply peace keepers but paramilitary forces, armed for war in small towns and cities across America.  So we're under a formulating martial law backed by overwhelming armament on the local level.  There was a time when if you and I opposed the police force and got together with a thousand like minded people concerned about our rights, we had a chance.  Now we're against a standing army, everywhere.

Children kill children because of mental illness, influences of excessive violence from their entertainment and a 4000% increase in diagnosis in being of wrongmindedness.  This means that the coming generation is being bombarded by a self-doubt of internal reality perception.  A disconnect from self.  Perhaps even a disconnect from how to connect to a higher power.

I think about candidates expressing racism, discrimination and prejudice and the shock and ire that some react with----often people who've by the virtue of skin color haven't experienced directed racism.  They champion the racists' remarks as character of exclusively his own when even as LBJ crafted the Civil Rights Act with MLK his recorded phone calls have him talking about niggers this and niggers that.  Those of us darker than milk know that many men, particularly older ones, occasionally the rich ones, are the milk most soured.  Walls of color and wan have been built and reinforced for decades by Presidents.  We are in no way surprised by candidates of racialized bent.

EMails really don't matter to me and I watched several seasons of Homeland recently on Hulu so I believe that things that happened in Banghazi and Benghazi, they are two separate places, are often the tip of a classified, interwoven web.  Whether military or diplomats, I believe that when you offer to serve or choose to apply to work for them, make a conscious decision about what they are willing to sacrifice themselves for.

I am undecided because the maelstrom of drama in this election makes me believe that like a bout of diarrhea both those with decades of experience and those with decades of money must go.  It is their level of thinking that lacks solution to domestic and foreign issues.  To the issues that will free people who are now under martial law and children who are targets.  I believe that our societal political system of left or right, dualism, is limited, it demands that in order to be heard, you must first conform to either left or right.  That there are only two ways of seeing the world.  Us or them.  Good and bad.  Male or female.  Black or white.

To not vote is not to sacrifice a candidate it is to say I disagree with you and I disagree with you too.

Now imagine this: a racist in the White House.  We've survived.  There should of course come a time where women manage the office just as they do in European, Eastern and Africa countries.  But is femaleness reason enough?  Was Blackness enough?  I often bristle at the way right and left promise the end of the world should one vote for the other instead of their candidate.  Because that suggests that the rest of us would allow one person to destroy the world because of their elected position.  Humanity is a smidge better than that.  Or that we should flee the land if someone we don't agree with is elected because we've never survived a person of iffy character and personality traits.  Those who suggest they'll flee are of course privileged and what about the rest of us, what about the poorest of us?  What about the people of Detroit who can't leave?  Is one's faith so fragile that one person would make you relinquish your home?  Then what good were you to begin with?

We need men and women of both character and ideas and compassion and strength and even ruthlessness to change the world.  Those kinds of people generally wrestle with themselves, their convictions and watch the world and participate on the levels that matter and those that don't.

I've got students to get through college no matter who is in the White House and a company to manage that will continue to help and educate people all over the world with books and videos and articles.  A President that I'm not in love with, nor like, that will move the boulder and inch is small to me.  Maintaining the status quo of how Washington politics works or simply bringing in brashness isn't moving to me either.    It would be nice to hear on a national platform from the other two candidates, put their feet to the fire and see what the numbers look like then---when opinions and positions that aren't aligned to left or right are taken seriously....because historically that's how we've grown.

Never forget Presidents didn't like or trust MLK......and 93% of Black churches wouldn't host him for years on end DURING the Civil Rights Movement.

Tell me what you think on here or in email:!


Unhappy Men, Happy Men and Happiness by Kyle Phoenix

                I’m tired about 3% of the time.  And from years of teaching and counseling I recognize that by tired I mean sad or depressed.  Not a heavy blanket of deep ennui but a film, a mild sadness at a host of things.  I’ve noticed this in the past couple of years in relationship to my work, to the people I work with and to the outcomes from that work.  For quite a few years I worked with MSM around relationships, sexuality, identity, and personal advancement.  Now unfortunately there are issues, institutional systems, that affect MSM and pointedly people of color but ultimately, all people.   The agencies I worked for are somewhere between handcuffed and willingly bonded to focusing on HIV funding, exclusively.  Yet a lot of the issues---lack of education, unemployment, poverty, health related issues, psychological health issues and dealing with the social construct (the delusion) of race.

                It can be tiring to experience these issues and it can also be exhausting to experience them as a facilitator/guide/teacher trying to get people to move along to the next level, whatever that might be for the individual.  That’s where I come from, I want advancement for everyone without barriers.  I think such simply that more fulfilled people would be happier and happier people would create a happier society.  Yet I’ve had the work experience for years (totaling thousands of men) to see that MSM, particularly of color, are unhappy.  And that unhappiness leads to destructive behavior, such as Barebacking, drug addiction, impoverishment, because we all want to feel better, however we define “happiness”.  I watch so many good men, along a continuum of reasonably intelligent to brilliant, constantly absorbing the concept of oppression in their words, their actions and the, outcomes.    I often listen to MSM talking about the conspiracies of what they can and cannot do; what the unexperienced world is like; attributing the actions of one (or a dozen) men to ALL men.  God, what I’ve heard about ALL men when a few men have hurt the feelings of an MSM.  They never consider that the Good Man that they pine for is often sitting (or online, viewing) their rant and upset about, dismissing them as the men to avoid.  But because Good Men get to “goodness” by learning to avoid these upset men so the upset men never get the feedback of what isn’t working.  The upset men then get left to only experience Not Good Men because they’ve given off the plague-smell.  No one in their right mind wants to take a chance (or being trapped on a date, much less in a relationship) on this upset man.
                I started The Kyle Phoenix Show online and cable TV to translate my workshops that I’d done with thousands of men (hopefully helping some of them) because I wanted to heal their upset.  My workshops tend to fall into two major demographics: upset men and Good Men (which I went on and titled a book Good Men for Men) and helping them to navigate their lives, wants, desires and such, I’ll say pointedly, without the lessons that women directly and intimately teach men about relationships.  (More of that in my forthcoming book He Is Not You.)

                Personally though when people wonder why I’m a bit of an introvert or sporadically attend parties and events or send missives and cards but not show up all the time it’s because of the fact that I’m pretty happy.  Like 97% of the time unless I see something pointedly sad, I’m pretty much having a red and gold balloon party in my head.  That other 3%, which I believe is natural and levels of empathetic feelings and wistful memories, is rarely hardcore unhappy.  Like when I eat, I tear up.  No, really.  Last night I wanted a small meal and not to cook so I stopped at 7-11 and bought a burrito and put some of the free salsa on it, got home about 10 minutes later and began chomping down on it and my eyes welled with tears.  It was just the right level of warm (I’m not big on very hot food), it was shockingly spicy, it was soft, I could taste the beef and it struck me as a good thing.  Earlier I’d had a big twelve ingredient salad and that too made me tear up.  There’s a deep gratitude and pleasure in food for me.  Ironically I don’t eat emotionally, by that I mean if I feel distressed (rarely) or upset, I don’t reach for food as a salve.  I just like food.  It doesn’t exactly make me happy as it supports my happiness with a gratitude at being a chewing, tasting human.

                Here in NYC, on the trains, in the streets, particularly in Manhattan, I see various people in levels of distress, pain, homelessness and I make it a point to look at them full on, whether I’m going to give money or not.  Because I believe people should be seen.  IF you’re ever with me, and someone approaches asking, depending on a variety of reasons and observations (I’m somewhere between Detective Columbo and Dr. Cal Lightman of Lie to Me in reading people), I might tell them “No, thank you.”  Particularly if they speak to me/ask for money.  Because I believe that person is still a human being who should be eye to eye acknowledged, even if it’s a no and treated with courtesy.  At the same time I believe that I have the self-human right to say yes or no to that which is presented to me to participate in or with.  “No, thank you (I don’t want to participate in your energy.  Why?  Because I have the intrinsic right to decide the yeses and noes for this body and its’ resources.)”

                But I also pray for people.  Sometimes the prayer is thanks when I see people who’ve had some hand---drugs, alcohol---in their bad circumstances---“But for the Grace of God go I.  Thank you, God for my being this way instead of that way.”  Other times it’s “Thank you, God for giving me the resources I have that I’m not in that situation and the reasoning capability to keep myself form that situation.”  Then there’s: “Thank you, God for not putting me through that right there.”  (Sometimes that’s someone with a handicap or an affliction---it can get a little Lord of the Rings make-up cast truck in the NYC subway system.  Years ago, at least 10, Richard Gere on The Oprah Winfrey Show talked about a prayer taught to him by the Dali Lama that I’ve practiced regularly since, when looking at someone, anyone thinking to one’s self: “The Light of God within me, salutes and blesses the light of God within you.”

                If you’ve read my blogs or books you know there’s been death, disappointment, abuse, pain, drama, foolishness, madness, racism, imprisonment, betrayal and bad customer service in my life so far.   I expect there will be more…because that’s life.  But when people are ragging on about the world, about the Them who are destroying every little corner of possible hope and happiness (yet amazingly people can recognize this vast conspiracy yet kind of standstill for the rape, I notice), I notice the lack of gratitude, generosity, and a new thing I learned, but had been practicing form the book The Presence, suspension.

                I often suspend myself with you, others, the world.  Like I’m not a big political person (no, I haven’t watched any of the debates; mainly because I see it all as theater.  Grand theater.  Political theater.  But theater all the same.) I think it’s more important that I go somewhere and teach a class to immigrants or people in poverty or to geniuses in the evenings.  Or that I volunteer to feed people or cook for a few hours for them.  But I decided to listen/watch Dr. Ben Carson (I’d seen the biographical movie on him a few years back) on Charlie Rose.  I like Charlie Rose (and Tavis Smiley) but I don’t watch TV (I own a giant flat screen but use it for expanding my pc/laptop monitor capacity so I can type without contacts or glasses on) so I watched his interview on Hulu.  There were things I agreed with and disagreed with.  Then I watched Peter Travers interview Michael Moore on his show Popcorn.  Then I watched him interview George Miller (the first movie I’d seen in theaters in almost two years was Mad Max: Fury Road, so I was interested in the director.  I didn’t know he used to be a medical director and had directed all the Mad Max films, Happy Feet and the Babe pictures!  I saw Happy Feet in the theater as an animated lark and went out and bought the Earth, Wind and Fire collection right afterwards because of wanting their music after seeing the film.)

               I thought of Dr. Carson and where he was at within the context of Clare Graves / Don Edward Beck’s Spiral Dynamics theory (whom I discovered through Dr. Ken Wilber’s Theory of Everything book) and then I thought about the Future Files by Friedman paralleling some of Carson’s thinking on foreign policy. Then I watched Shonda Rhimes on Charlie Rose. 

                While eating my lunch, fried chicken from Popeye’s (I try to limit it to once a month because my family are the not only the poster children but the graphic designers and delivery team for heart disease) and writing this piece up.  Yes, I’ve meandered through things that make me happy and unhappy and no, I haven’t given you any magic serum for happiness because the truth is: it’s a choice.  You either choose to be happy, to be optimistic, to think well of people (even the shitty, dumb acting ones) and to wish ugly, mean people well and to accept attitudes (I have a customer service feedback rant in me ready to spring out---but I’m going to channel it into a vocational book) and the literal unfairness of life.  Because only children (and the juvenile minded) expect fairness from the universe---ask nature, beautifully embodied in the lion and the gazelle about the fairness of slaughter vs. starvation---and you’ll discover the truth.  Happiness does not feel like a party all the time.  Just 97% of the time.  The rest, you’re a little saddened by stuff.  But grateful to have had the experience because you know it could be worse or is worse for others.


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I Chose Weak Men On Purpose By Kyle Phoenix

Recently, within the past few months I've been having all of these deep conversations with friends and family---I think it has something to do with more and more of my writing becoming public/published in books and articles.  It's not a fame thing, it's just when stuff is in print, people can muse on it, ponder and think on it, come up with deeper questions than perhaps casual conversation always allows.  In quite a bit of my fiction work, if you know me there's always a fun possibility that I'm relating some of my own personal affairs, my sexual habits and my deeper love affairs.  I tend to be very mums the word, very Scorpio, never too detailed or name specific even to family and friends about whom I'm seeing.  Ironically I write and work a lot around relationship and sexuality advice/information.  And even more fun it sort of came out recently that I've, past tense, been involved with a couple of "known" people.

Up until my late twenties though I had a penchant for weak men.  I would say by default because they were often full of bravado, very verbal men who you wouldn't think of as weak but were.  The other night I was laying in bed, musing on books and ideas and a screenplay for a same sex love story and I got to thinking about my own past love stories...and why I kept thinking about these weak men.  I searched the crevices of my heart---I don't love them any longer, I'm not pining for them, and in person I sort of remember at the end not finding them attractive.  Yet I would find myself musing about that one sexually, that one's issues, that one's voice and considering contacting them.  Then I would fast forward to all the things I've done and still have to complete---more books, films, law school, teaching, travel---and realize that I couldn't have done or plan to do any of those things with them.  In fact---counting about 6 of them now---I didn't accomplish any of those things with them, doubly in fact---I didn't accomplish much of my own goals with them.  So why was I even with them?

Sometimes before, during and after the handful I'm thinking of, I've dated and slept with much physically handsomer men; much funnier; much smarter.  Yet when I look at the Love Category this handful reside there.  I've been watching Howard Stern recently on YouTube (I sometimes put something on in the background that I don't have to directly look at while typing) and I've found him to be a very insightful, probing interviewer.  I was surprised.  But some of his interview questions I reflected back at myself and I found these handful of men.   I discovered that in first medium ways and then in smaller and smaller ways I've tried to make people comfortable with my intelligence, my talents, my Art, my gifts.  I've more of tried to Appease than Please but it's the same realm within the Disease to Please.  By about 30 though I'd done two separate years of intense therapy and gotten the tools to dismantle the disease so now I can look upon my past with a more critical eye.

The handful of men, thanks to friends, the internet and acquaintance, haven't accomplished any of the things they boasted about, wanted to or even I cheered in their corner to do. In fact they're sort of that friend that we've all had with big dreams and know how to fix everything yet never accomplish anything but being critical.  They all have that as a flaw.  But I chose them.  One therapist told me that I surrounded myself with people specifically who were of lesser caliber than myself so that I wouldn't have to live up to my potential.  A high school teacher years before that, in one of the most revealing moments I remember from my teens, told me that some people are afraid to fail but that I was one afraid to succeed.

I dragged my exes in mental holograms through Harville Hendrix's excellent emotional/psycho-therapeutic work, the Imago System long ago that essentially shows how our childhood parents/guardians teach us love and dysfunction and we re-play that pattern out over and over until we're aware of the pattern and how to manage/change it.  I've taught this in workshops for years, so naturally I always look at myself and my upbringing when I get a hint that I'm playing out with my Imago.  And yes, my exes in many ways emotionally reflect aspects of my parents---their self-absorption, their unfulfilled dreams, their passive aggressiveness, their fear, their angers---yup, I sought it out in lovers.

I sit at home and traveling, with far more alone time ironically than I normally have.  I use a lot of that time to write and read and in my writing, I'm also editing stuff, re-printing old stories and articles...and re-visiting that work brings me back to that period of my life, to those relationships.  A couple of exes wanted to be writers or filmmakers---and unless they bust a serious move, I don't see that happening.  Yet for two of them, going to school together, I've done, currently do and will continue to do both.  Another desperately wanted to write and never will because of a host of other anxieties and I purposefully never told him how much writing I'd done, that I'd been published because I didn't want to be intimidating or overwhelming.  I used to remind myself to be more vulnerable thinking that was my issue, or at least one of them, and now I see that I didn't grow up with complete encouragement for my talents and gifts.  Howard Stern said that he spent so much of his professional life trying to get his father's esteem and when he finally got it, you suddenly realize how small it is, how little it now matters to you.  I feel the same sometimes when my mother tells me how proud she is of my books or schooling or TV show---I'm like...meh.  Mainly because I spent so many years learning to not need anyone's accolades for my work, to become almost invulnerable to criticisms and compliments and only interested in useful feedback.

I chose weak men because I knew I was spending my time and energy on them and not the other way around.  And honestly I walked away from all of them (and threw one out) and I also honestly knew that they weren't going to amount to much.  Somehow sitting with them, playing with them, expending energy and attention on them made me feel not guilty about the fact that we weren't of the same caliber.  People around me warned me about one or two, even my mentor Carlene Hatcher Polite when I told her about one who I thought was "The One" told me that he wasn't---he's not strong enough for you.  She was right.  But I think I was proudest of the fact that I was dating, in a relationship, paying attention to someone, that maybe I was being normal.  I've spent so much of my life being singled out as smart and talented that it's like you stand alone in your own category to superiors and inferiors alike so it's so nice when I'm just "normal".  But in retrospect those men were expecting me or using me as a form of enhancement,so I wasn't normal even to them.  I helped them get jobs, friends, money, pretty much the Grade A hook up and they provided distraction, distraction from my own talents from me.

I've always been so careful in life to be egalitarian, to lower myself or uplift others to the same levels...but now I'm recognizing that we're all built with the potential of equality and that I have to take charge and responsibility for my abilities.  And acknowledge the lack in others. That's hard.  Because I want to be nice and liked, though I think both states and social forms are detestable---I don't want to be a "bad" person though I think bad is subjective (I often remind my students in class that even Hitler thought he was doing the right thing) and morally based.  Yet I chose weak men to strain my emotional muscles on, to stretch for, just for the exercise because other than you know....amazing tales and plot twists in my fiction and archetypes and stereotypes and characters traits that make for interesting fiction---they haven't amounted to much more than when I found them.  I have to look at myself and realize that I am good, I am talented, I am growing and creative.  That's hard to do because I've been my only mirror since I was a child.  And by the time I got to teachers saying it to me, I was still trying to figure out what I was doing.  I sure as hell wasn't getting it from my parents or family members and I was practicing a lower form of lower echelon friends for years so lower echelon lovers was only natural.

I cleaned out some lower friends over the years, some knew it, some now realize they were kicked to the curb and others...well they were too dense to know much of anything to begin with.  One friend I knew for years and I decided to back off from our friendship when she said something hurtful in about 2002.  In 2009 she contacts me and leaves a message and says the EXACT thing as to why I stopped being friends with her years prior.  The same thing happened with an ex recently.  Maybe that and the writing is what has me wandering down lovers lane?

I'm better at embracing my talents and strengths and creativity and Art now.  I'm thinking of it more in terms of a large panorama of Art across the swath of my lifetime for the next 50 years.  And I'm starting to consider the many more lovers I'll have, as there is a sea of possibilities and potential always, millions of new choices.  I guess I think about the weak men I chose because they represent where I go mentally (and in their time physically) to be unproductive, to be depressed, to be ashamed of myself.

But I take responsibility for choosing them, and I'm accountable to the lack of results I got with them and in integrity I can say they are proudly my inferiority manifested because manhood is about operating from those three paradigms, their weakness manifested by their substantial lack in those areas.  I chose weak men on purpose...but they also chose a strong one and couldn't tie him down.

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The Meaning of the Pineal Gland on the Kyle Phoenix Blog

The pineal gland, a pine-cone shaped gland of the endocrine system, is a highly essential part of the brain necessary to our survival. It is often associated with the third eye or the Ajna chakra, when activated, leads one to higher realms of consciousness. The third eye gives us perception of the universe around us through the five senses. Through our five senses we have self awareness and intelligence: sentience.

As a chakra, the third eye, the pineal gland represents the point at which the body receives energy from the universe that keeps our lives sustained; the main access point between the astral body and the physical body. Its function in the brain is essential to our very consciousness. Without awareness of the universe, you have no point of reference at which you have self awareness. Without self awareness, you have neither consciousness nor logical thought.

We use our perception, our consciousness and our senses to gain awareness of energy in our world via information around us. Without the pineal gland there would be no senses, meaning we would have no way to locate food, mates, safety, warmth, and the many necessities of every day life in both man kind and the animal kingdom.

The pineal gland contains pigment similar to that found in the eyes and is connected to the optic thalami, hence it controls the action of light upon our body.The pineal gland is located beneath the cerebral cortex where the two thalamic hemispheres of the brain join, where the brain regulates consciousness, interprets the body’s motory and sensory functions, and produces melatonin. A serotonin derivative, that controls our sleep cycle.

Melatonin is not only necessary for proper sleep, but it also regulates the onset of puberty and fight against harmful and free radicals. Almost at the center of the brain, its location can also be understood as the third eye, the center of the brow. Focusing on the third eye stimulates not only the pineal gland but the thalamus and the cerebral cortex as well.

In children, the pineal gland secretes more melatonin than in adults, which is said to inhibit sexual development. After puberty, the pineal gland shrinks and releases less melatonin.

The pineal gland is only the size of a single grain of rice but it has been claimed to produce dimethyltryptamine, DMT, the most powerful psychedelic, and possibly most powerful psychoactive, substance known to man. However it calcifies, and produces less as the body ages. The gland calcifies when it encounters fluoride. These calcifications are known as corpora arenacea, or brain sand. This brain sand is composed of calcium phosphate, calcium carbonate, magnesium phosphate and ammonium phosphate.

Some say the reason our water is fluoridated is to intentionally calcify the pineal gland, decreasing our intelligence, resulting in a more submissive society. More willing to follow it’s leaders. Something to ponder on though is that water fluoridation has been around since the 40′s, for various reasons.

While knowledge of the Pineal Gland has been available for thousands of years. A lot of ancient religious symbolism going back to the Sumerians, Egyptians, Vatican and more. Regardless this means that over time our civilization is using less and less of our pineal glands, and producing less DMT.

According to some scientists DMT is constantly being produced in the brain in trace amounts. When DMT is used as a psychedelic, the user experiences a very intense feeling of unity and oneness, perhaps this oneness is the end-all-be-all oneness of conscious itself? DMT production and consciousness in the brain, is necessary for us to further understand and survive in the world around us.

Understanding the world around us through facts allows us to increase the efficiency of our perception, and our total being. Knowledge of positive fact is beneficial to the perception. With knowledge we have awareness of what our perception represents, this is why DMT is massively released during near-death experiences. The reason of this, is the awareness of the imminence of death. The brain becomes aware that it is going to die and releases DMT at the last minute to stretch out the time it has left, by peaking your perception, so it can perform the last minute functions it needs to complete, and you can learn the things you need to know before death.

People often understand these experiences as flashbacks, entering the afterlife, becoming one with great peace or a light and the ultimate oneness of the universe. Perhaps death itself is what the DMT in our pineal glands is trying to teach us – that a totality of being is total peace and oneness.

Thank you for reading and if you liked this check out the other blogs or one my books on,

Kyle Phoenix
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