How (and Why) To Hire A Male Escort

The oldest profession on the planet, humans having done something strange for a torch of fire, rather than today's strange for change, is something that MSM, men in general, understand.  Why?  Because men are socialized to understand contracts    and what we're discussing here are sexual contracts.  Is it legal?  No.  However it occurs.  So let's pretend we're in a parallel universe where you've decided for your birthday to hire someone to have sexual contact with but you don't know how to do it.

First Step: Decide what you want to do and what you don't want to do.
1. Are you going to Top or Bottom?  Oral or Foreplay? Do you want the whole Date-Dinner-Sex experience?  Do you need a companion for an event?
2. Location: Your place, their place, hotel or if it's a non-sexual and then sexual date, where will you eat first, etc.?
3. Maybe you even have some fantasy---if you do, I think you can run with that from here.

  Second Step: Deciding what you want as a companion.
1. This can be fun because it's suddenly your fantasy come to life.  Do you have a Will Smith fantasy?  Clive Owen?  Heath Ledger?  Daniel Radcliffe?  Chris Brown?  Suddenly you can scroll through online ads through services like and type in your physical criteria---tall, short, slim, muscular, Black, White, Latino, Asian. bald, blonde?  It's all up for you to decide.
2. The decision will also affect price.  The better looking and with more options on what they do or haven't done (like no drugs, no unsafe sex) the more they may charge.

Third Step: Deciding your budget
1. Like everything else that is commodified, you get what you pay for.  The going rates can be as low as $50 an hour up to $450 an hour.  Low rates, under $150 are generally described as massage only, though some may do it naked and provide a happy ending.  However remember if you contact someone who says they do massages, they may only do massages.  Knowing what price ranges might be a code for will help you discern who's willing to go further.  $150 and higher is generally the escort rate.  Now like a restaurant, not all escorts are the same based on price.

$150 is low end.
(This is generally someone just starting out, putting a toe into the business.  This person might not be a seasoned professional.  While that might seem appealing it can also lead to someone with drug issues, drunk, low standards, STIs showing up.  It might also be someone so inexperienced that it's like deflowering a virgin as you talk them into satisfying you, the customer.  Again, you get what you pay for.  And here's something else to think about, you've never been asked to come around the counter at McDonald's to help fix the food have you?  When you hire someone for a service, they should do all the heavy lifting.  Inexperienced might seem cute until you really examine that this is suppose to be about your pleasure.)

$200-250 is mid-range. (Regular sex, date/dinner.  This is generally your experienced working man.  He'll have good instincts around safety and he'll help you break the ice of the transaction and perhaps even have a fun personality too.  That's not only important, if it's your first time, but it also shows his level of professionality.  His work is the reason why he has returning customers.  You might also be reviewing him on or on so he's got to do his best.  If you're trying this out for fun, save an extra month and spend more rather than less.  One, you're worth it and two, this can't be stressed more, you get what you pay for.)

$300 and up is high end/specialty (S&M, extreme fantasies, fisting, etc..  If you have extreme (no judgment) sexual tastes or fantasies then this might the range for you.  Or if you want something special---a date for an event, he has to get a tuxedo, suit, vacation clothes, travel expenses---long drive, airplane, train further than maybe 10 miles, etc. this is where you might have to pay more.  But that's okay, again you're worth it.)

Whew!  Ok, you've got your criteria on kind of person, place, cost, what will happen set now we move into maybe one more level of vetting.  Why would you vet a candidate?  You've probably come up with a handful after perusing magazine ads or online ads.  In fact you should come up with a handful---you might find that there's varying issues with the ones you contact---out of town, unavailable, not into what you want to do, so you want some choices.

The internet has made vetting much, much easier now---there's the review sites I mentioned as well as male escorts may also do adult films.  This gives you a chance to check out this person in their videos to see----well, everything.  To examine what they're comfortable doing, how they look, the chemistry they may have, if they're playful.  While hiring an escorting might have a sexual goal, it doesn't mean that you don't have an emotional desire to feel a genuine connection or that you won't need a real attraction to make it special for you.  A warning though, you should never expect them to feel the same.  Your best hope is that he's so good at his job that you feel like he genuinely does---but never forget---he's worth the money because he's able to make everybody feel that no matter their body size, age or emotional shyness.  His super power is to make you feel special---he might even have popped a Viagra in the elevator up to your place to insure this.  Don't play yourself by buying his sweet, sweet words.  He's a pro.

Fourth Step: Contact
Most escorts online provide phone and email.  You might want to make email your first contact, especially if you're contacting several---just don't Cc them all.  Have some class, separate emails and change the names you address it to.  In your email you want to be blunt, direct, and specific.  Like below:

Hi, Rick

My name is Bob and I saw your ad on Rentboy,com.  I'm a 52 year old Latino top who really finds young Black men sexy.  I think you definitely fit the bill.  I'm into kissing, oral sex, lots of massaging and touching and of course penetration.  Everything safe and with condoms.  I'll be in your town/I'd like to meet at my place the weekend of April 3rd.  Are you available and what are your rates for 3 hours?  This is my first time doing this so I'm a little nervous.  Also are there any boundaries or things you won't do?


Rick knows you're nervous but serious, respectful, you've thought it through and you're ready to move forward and make a plan.  Even if Bob's list of things he wants to do are pretty vanilla, it's always nice to ask someone, another human being still, what they will and won't do, what their boundaries are.  It shows your humanity and respect for their work and personhood.  How do I know this?  I've had several students over the years at a variety of programs or participants in groups I was facilitating who were in the business, so I've really talked in-depth with them about this.  Conversely, if you're reading this and considering being an escort, I would recommend you go to, under resources for escorts they have an excellent pdf that outlines everything for your safety and good business practices.  They really appreciate being treated like a real person and like any employee, the better you treat people they better they'll treat you.

This is also the place to be honest about your own description.  Maybe even if you want include a link to your profile on a dating site so they can see you.  If you're overweight, or underweight or young or old, or whatever race you are, let them know.  Not only does this show respect and engender a sense of security, it also gives them a way of gauging if they can be sexual with you.  Not every escort can simply turn on being sexual with just anyone.  Most can.  But still, why waste each other's time when this is going to honestly be about your pleasure?

Fifth Step: Rick has replied!

He emails you or calls you and you chat.  He tell you he's available and you should still politely check your wants list (kissing, oral, anal, whatever) to insure agreement.  As well as confirm rates.  Then all you have to do is set the date and location and you're ready for your "first time".

Sixth Step: Meeting
It's okay to be nervous/anxious.  This might be new for you but think about this as a chance for you to be pleased, sexually satisfied by what you want, the way you want for as long as you want.  This is a gift to yourself.  Generally heterosexual men have more opportunities and social sanction around their sexuality so they get to do this.  Also women looking for viable partners might be more appeasing because they see investment possibilities.  Homosexual men don't always have these opportunities presented them around their sexuality.  Having a lot of sex, isn't having good sex.  And having a lot of sex with someone who also has had a lot of sexual contact doesn't mean that either of you are any good at sex.

What escorts, male or female provide, is access to our fantasies and desires from someone who hopefully is comfortable in the work they do.  There are excellent sex workers out there who can become great friends, delightful treats, even fantastic teachers for you and your sexuality.  Use this like any other service and enjoy it!  Your sexuality and experimenting with it is natural and normal, and you are natural and normal, so you might as well know how to negotiate your safety and desires, right?

Thank you,

Kyle Phoenix


Thanks and enjoy! Don't forget to watch The Kyle Phoenix Show on Time Warner Cable, Verizon Fios or Comcast or the Thursday/Friday 12am/midnight simulcast on

1 comment:

  1. Really You Have Great Team of Male Escorts all have great Muscles Nice post of Escort Services