10 Things to Like About Bottoms
i generally like guys who LIKE to bottom.
lots of dudes want to be banged out like their favorite porno but the reality of anal sex is completely different.
1.
one, you want a dude who has bottomed before. Not the whore of Babylon but at least spent a few nights at home with first a slim vibrator then ever increasing dildos of larger sizes. The ability to be penetrated is requirement one. You don't want to injure a partner, break your own penis or feel the dulling breeze on your own naked ass of frustration as you try to manage lube, a condom, a hard on, passion and blind anal aiming.
2.
two, lube and condoms. I have my magnum xls, my gun oil silicone lube. I appreciate a bottom who also has his kit too. If you don't have a kit of condom, lubes, etc I assume every Tom, dick and hairy comes through here and bangs you lovely, bareback. Having left you as a repository for all nine of the STDs out there. If I see you have a kit, I know you care about yourself and me and don't just leave responsibility to the wind.
also at home I put clean cloths, a bowl of warm scented water and paper towels on my nightstand....or living room floor. Candlelight, music, maybe even some mints, water, fruits, chocolates. This sounds overblown but make a little drawer, little amenities, it shows a level of foresight, care, sharing.
Not just:
"Yo, you hard? Stick it in."
not hot.
3.
three, correct cleaning procedures because you know what your body is in reality.
the best bottoms know that their anus is Not a vagina.
there is an exterior and interior sphincter muscle group, we can voluntarily open one but need to relax to open the other. Its nice when a bottom takes him time and isn't trying to prove he's butt daredevil and diving or slamming onto my penis.
there is also a miniscule amount of mucus, natural lubricant, therefore more lubricant is needed .
. A lot more.
I prefer silicone based lube, it's good with Magnum XL and Trojan XL condoms, some water based lubes make them itch on me.
its more expensive but lasts longer.
the rectal tract is only 5-6 inched long all the begging for ten and fourteen inch penises is psycho manshit. The prostate the greatest bundling of nerve endings is an inch in and up from the interior sphincter....patience and angling its a cinch to hit it repeatedly or to beat the drum with several micro thrusts, then a couple longer friction slides presses then micro thrusts.
larger penises eventually turn the sigmoid colon opening and twisting is a real danger and how some men accommodate larger penises. I'd rather tear a sheet then perforate your colon because a bottom is trying to get some sexual sensation in his stomach from his butt.
Men cannot and should not douche, ever as the action itself preps the body to more readily absorb, contract an STD. Further hence why the highest proportion of hiv/aids infected are bottoms.
All penetration of pink parts signals ones warrior cells to come out hence why HIV attaches so fast, pointedly to bottoms.
I'd like for bottoms to not "prefer" barebacking and only/just take my word while we're both naked that I'm disease free.
When a bottom does that he's signaling to me that he believed tom , dick and hairy and now has a cocktail of STDs. I may know and be telling the truth about my negative status but I don't trust Tom, dick nor hairy with my bank pin number, how can I trust them with sexual health honesty?
I routinely teach in workshops and personally tell bottoms, in all penetrative gay sex there will be some shitty moments. Bottoms should never douche, it disrupts the natural mucus lining. Want be clean, eat cleaning foods. I like bottoms who eat a fibrous diet, fiber creates solid stool, less feces remainder within the anal tract; bathe well beforehand and be reasonable adults about smells, sounds and residue from sexual organs that we also use for elimination.
4.
fourth I like bottoms who don't furiously masturbate while I'm penetrating them. First its like trying to screw a wet, sweaty, moving washing machine in the dark and two the act itself tightens the sphincter muscles making penetrating harder more friction and greater risk of injury to me and condom tearing.
5.
fifth I like bottoms who don't bottom as part of an ice bucket challenge. Have more than one position. I do my part and you do yours there with be mutual pleasure, if you're just doing it for daresies, cab fare or to prove something to yourself, I'm disappointed. Participate.
6.
sixth laying stone still and grimacing is not a skill. You don't have to sing Carmen's aria and do a cirque du soleil routine but find a happy medium. I didn't arrive as a top with the pressure of maintaining a Godzilla erection, nineteen inches long for three hours to serve his majesty, the pillow princess.
7.
seventh understand that there are phases to an erection, its like a dance or maintaining a campfire. The longer the action drops, the faster the fire goes down, blood pressure relieved. If you won't expect continuous steel girder, I won't expect your anus is as durable, open and pliable as a vagina.
I can win a marathon, every man on earth due to biology will fail a hundred yard dash....naked, aroused, sweaty, wearing a condom, not standing.
8.
eighth enjoy yourself, lets have fun. I hate feeling like I have to tell knock knock jokes or throw up fireworks. Sex is fun mutual exercise. Some dudes mean mug you like they're screwing for political asylum or Xanax. I like fun, funny, adventurous bottoms who have fun with the completely ridiculous contortions we're about to get into.
9.
ninth plan your space. Pets, parents, roommates are not my problem. Pets, another room. Parents, that's just creepy, don't invite me over. I've yet to arrive at the mental space of chatting up the parents of someone I've just pretzeled....until we've dated for awhile. Roommates? Grow up. If you're an adult and pay rent you shouldn't be sanctioning your sex life or acting all clandestine. You want balls , have some. Of course propriety and no outlandish sounds but I'm not having sex half clothed in a chair because your sleeping roommate two rooms away is still getting used to your sexuality. Yes when I had roommates I brought guys home, depending on their tour of duty, length of service they got introduced. But I never as an adult would clear my sex with a roommate with whom I was paying rent. Not in this lifetime.
10.
tenth I've taught for years and wrote a book about this which includes the concept that just because I top and you're the bottom that my prostate vanished. I just may not want your penis searching for it. Fingers, objects, lets be adults. Grow up stop being a narrowed minded li'l bottom rigid picture idiot.
best bottom sex?
we fucked, it was fun , good , funny, safe and we did it again and again. I once took a day off from work to go spend 12 hours, in the summer no ac at his place....in the Bronx. And I morally often refuse to go to the Bronx. Jerry was that good of a bottom because he really enjoyed his sexuality and therefore mine.
****As an aside, is it mean or do people give the Queensbury Rules PC correct answers to direct LGBT questions? I think the soft peddling creates more of these silly or sometimes honestly forthright questions and such prim and proper answers.
Kyle Phoenix
(This answer originally appeared on my Quora page)
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