Saturday, August 23, 2014

20 Things the Rich Do Every Day

 So what do the rich do every day that the poor don’t do?

Tom Corley, on his website, outlines a few of the differences between the habits of the rich and the poor.

1. 70% of wealthy eat less than 300 junk food calories per day. 97% of poor people eat more than 300 junk food calories per day. 23% of wealthy gamble. 52% of poor people gamble.

2. 80% of wealthy are focused on accomplishing some single goal. Only 12% of the poor do this.

3. 76% of wealthy exercise aerobically four days a week. 23% of poor do this.

4. 63% of wealthy listen to audio books during commute to work vs. 5% of poor people.

5. 81% of wealthy maintain a to-do list vs. 19% of poor.

6. 63% of wealthy parents make their children read two or more non-fiction books a month vs. 3% of poor.

7. 70% of wealthy parents make their children volunteer 10 hours or more a month vs. 3% of poor.

8. 80% of wealthy make Happy Birthday calls vs. 11% of poor.

9. 67% of wealthy write down their goals vs. 17% of poor.

10. 88% of wealthy read 30 minutes or more each day for education or career reasons vs. 2% of poor.

11. 6% of wealthy say what’s on their mind vs. 69% of poor.

12. 79% of wealthy network five hours or more each month vs. 16% of poor.

13. 67% of wealthy watch one hour or less of TV every day vs. 23% of poor.

14. 6% of wealthy watch reality TV vs. 78% of poor.

15. 44% of wealthy wake up three hours before work starts vs. 3% of poor.

16. 74% of wealthy teach good daily success habits to their children vs. 1% of poor.

17. 84% of wealthy believe good habits create opportunity luck vs. 4% of poor.

18. 76% of wealthy believe bad habits create detrimental luck vs. 9% of poor.

19. 86% of wealthy believe in lifelong educational self-improvement vs. 5% of poor.

20. 86% of wealthy love to read vs. 26% of poor.

A Word from Dave…

There has been so much negative and ignorant response to the above list that I felt I needed to respond and teach; that is what teachers do. So to clear up any confusion from others’ blogs and comments about us, we are adding this commentary to this posting. —Dave


Over the last two decades, my company has taught people what the Bible says about money: getting on a plan ... in the Bible; getting out of debt … in the Bible; living on less than you make … in the Bible; saving money and thereby building wealth … in the Bible; being generous and remembering God owns it all … in the Bible. We teach living like no one else so that later you can live and GIVE like no one else. Our lessons are about getting your family under control financially so you can take care of your own household first. We also teach the importance of giving no matter where you are in the process, first with tithing and then with extraordinary generosity when you’re able. We have always taught that responsible generosity is the natural walk for a believer. Anyone who has attended our courses or read our work knows this is a fact.

In addition to that, I have railed on things where the poor are oppressed in our culture—things like payday lending, rent-to-own, or our own government-sponsored oppression, the lottery.

Because of this, I am amazed at how many of my brothers and sisters in Christ have attacked us because of a simple list posted on our website. Maybe it shouldn't amaze me in our Twitter culture—where immature people now study, reflect, research and communicate in only 140 characters—yet it still does. The piece in question is a simple list outlining the habits of the poor versus the habits of the rich. It could just as easily have been a different list of the habits of the obese versus the habits of the physically fit.

What saddens me is that some members of our culture are so doctrinally shallow and so spiritually immature that the reaction was often rude, inappropriate or outright abusive. This reaction is sad because it’s focused only on this one little list, not on our body of work. When you actually bother to look into what we teach, you find generosity and grace taught throughout. This reaction is sad because it’s not even a reflection of what that little list actually says. This reaction is sad because it is a reflection of how politicized, immature and doctrinally ignorant some members of our Christian culture are.

This list simply says your choices cause results. You reap what you sow. Is the research perfect? No. It is a small sample, but it does pass the common-sense smell test. Does this research or the reason for posting it have anything to do with third-world countries? No. Anyone with good walking-around sense can see that this is a first-world discussion. Is this list a way of hating the poor? Seriously? Grow up.

There is a direct correlation between your habits, choices and character in Christ and your propensity to build wealth in non-third-world settings. To dispute that or attribute hate to that statement is immature and ignorant. To assume that our ministry hates the poor is ludicrous and is a reflection more on you than on our work or our beliefs.

Biblically speaking, poverty is caused and perpetuated primarily by some combination of three things:
1. Personal habits, choices and character;
2. Oppression by people taking advantage of the poor;
3. The myriad of problems encountered if born in a third-world economy.

The third-world economy is and should be a whole different discussion. If you are broke or poor in the U.S. or a first-world economy, the only variable in the discussion you can personally control is YOU. You can make better choices and have better results. If you believe that our economy and culture in the U.S. are so broken that making better choices does not produce better results, then you have a problem. At that point your liberal ideology has left the Scriptures and your politics have caused you to become a fatalist.

One of the main reasons our culture has prospered is because of our understanding and application of biblical truths. Bible-believing Christians believe in sowing and reaping—what the world calls cause and effect—as well as in God’s sovereignty and providence. The scientific method you should have learned in seventh-grade science class is based on sowing and reaping (cause and effect). Bible-believing Christians understand God has called us to have an impact, to take dominion, on our environment, and logic follows that our habits, choices and character have consequences and harvests. For over 200 years, that belief system has led to life-changing industry, inventions and a standard of living never known before on this planet. This is not hate; on the contrary, it is love.

My wife and I started our lives with almost nothing, eating off a card table and driving two cars that did not total $2,000 in value. We were broke, but we did not believe that was our destiny. Over the next several years, we grew a real estate fortune, but lost all of that due to bad decisions and choices. And yes, it was all my fault. I was scared, beat up, beat down, and worn out with two small children and a marriage hanging on by a thread. But the Bible doesn’t say I’m a victim; God’s Word says I am a child of the King. So we began the long process of rebuilding our lives twenty-five years ago. God has blessed our efforts and we have done well, and for that I am incredibly grateful and humbled.

Despite these blessings, there are others who have far more than I do. The talents and treasures on this earth are not distributed equally, and that is not fair—or is it? God has chosen to give most of you better hair than me, to make Tiger Woods a better golfer than me, to make Brad Paisley a better guitarist than me, and to make Max Lucado a better writer than me. With God’s grace, I am fine with that. I am not angry at them, and I don’t think they have done something wrong by becoming successful. As I’ve matured, I’ve come to realize that God is indeed fair, but fair does not mean equal.

My team and I are loving teachers who understand that people’s best shot at having a better life is to make better choices, have better habits, and grow their character. Our long track record of helping people shouts what we believe. We love Christ, we love people, and we believe the Bible’s teachings are the answer to the world’s struggles. We will continue to put them forth in the marketplace, and we will fight for our right to do so regardless of whether you agree—or whether you have the capacity to understand. We will do that because we don’t work for our critics; we do our work as unto the Lord, and we won’t stop until He tells us to.

Thank you for reading.
Thanks and enjoy!
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Kyle Phoenix, 2014
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Tuesday, August 5, 2014

New Books for SGL/MSM Men of Color on Relationships, Finances, Sex and Love!

               These Special Reports came about as a request from the many African American and Latino men that I’ve worked with in workshops, thousands in fact.  The challenge of being a teacher is that I can only be physically in one place at a time.  The largest workshop I’ve run was well over 200 people but for these specific, personal discussions, I generally prefer to run groups of about 6 to 35 men.  The reasoning is both obvious and compassion-based.  Too many people and the conversation becomes unwieldy and most importantly men, specifically men of color, rarely have the opportunity to ask an objective expert about their sexuality related experiences and get back a direct answer
               This might seem hard to believe with the internet, men having friends and relationships but often I am facilitating a workshop and men in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and older will ask me (and the group) questions that are on some level socially basic when compared to heterosexuality.  Questions about the male body, being in a relationship, completely alien to them, to many of the men in the room, when compared to men who are heterosexual.  Shame, ostracism, poverty, racism, homophobia, fear, and (lack of) education impact men who have sex with men (MSM) in a multitude of ways, generally negatively leading to alienation, isolation, depression, excessive pleasure seeking, self destructiveness, and to an extreme, mental illness and suicidal tendencies.
               In my teens I was fortunate to have supportive counselors at school to discuss sexuality with.  I was fortunate to be able to afford to buy books on sexuality to answer technical questions and explore ideas.  Further into my 20s, away at college, I was fortunate to be able to be authentic and transparent about my identity, having asked, answered and investigated those questions prior to university.  However I met and was friends with countless men and women who were confused, questioning or closeted about their sexuality.  What concerned me most were the dangerous emotional and physical situations they were in due to family structures, religious beliefs, lack of information.   The overwhelming majority of these men and women were African American and Latino. 

               Years later when I began counseling and teaching specifically to MSM of color at non-profits and was tasked with designing programming and curricula for them, I turned to my library around male sexuality and discovered that bluntly, it was all White, from a White perspective, written to a White male audience, reflecting multiple White men engaging with one another, focused almost exclusively on a homo-normative valuing of the singular term of “gay”, as young, happy, vibrant White men.  I turned to my non-White audience, teeming with questions and issues and realized that a lot of their problems stemmed from this dissonance between sexuality, information, race and inclusion.

               “But aren’t all people the same?  And does your work then exclude White people?” one naturally would ask.
               Yes and no.
               We’re all biologically, therefore physically (and to some degree psychologically), the same as humans so there is of course information through all of my works that covers biological, physical, mental and social areas on men and their interactions, no matter race.  I try to be specific in highlighting and integrating non-men of color into these works (such as work on interracial dating, etc) rather than the reverse: minimizing that there are social, emotional and cultural distinctions for African American, Latino and other men of color as such an exclusion now readily and rampantly exists in personal identity/relationships texts on sexuality.  In terms of culture, socialization, sexuality, identity, spirituality, environment and lived selves, having been, as a man of color, socially and professionally steeped in many cultures, we’re vastly different.  This doesn’t mean that we can’t co-exist, co-habitate or even unite for common rights but it does mean that the old trope of people as being in a melting pot is egregiously wrong when it comes to men of color and sexuality.  Isn’t it better for us all, to be seen as individual, self motivating and defining fruits and vegetables in a salad, a tossed salad, if you will?  All possible puns intended. 
               It naturally followed then, as I was teaching these initial workshops with men of color, and seeing the confused effects, that they were being given perhaps the right dosage of the wrong medication.  Following the analogy, there had been no personal examination of them allowing for their feedback and yet they were expected to have the same outcomes, results and liberation as White gay men.  The information, particularly around safe sex, socialization, relationships, sexuality, manhood and financial consideration was only being designed for White men to interact with other White men…and ostensibly other men of color who could access the information or approximate their identity close enough to find it useful.  I estimate this to be about 10% of men of color. 
               What about the African American and Latino man, at least here in America, who doesn’t believe that a healthy identity for them is in mirror lockstep to White gay men? 
               I’m convinced through my years working in LGBT organizations that sexually transmitted infection rates are so high among men of color vs. White men because of less of an informational/social support system for a non-heterosexual identity in communities of color and lack of support in White heterosexual and then  homosexual communities, a triple whammy of stigma and ostracism.
               After several years of amending pre-existing materials, inserting images of men of color, trying to bridge the gap and generally colorizing my lessons with the invaluable input, information and feedback from my clients and participants, I came upon the understanding that while men of color had produced many works of visual art, fiction and health related literature regarding sexuality, there was very little that was doing what I was having packed workshops around: sex, sexuality, relationships, finances, life choices, parenting, love, breaking up, aging, fetishes, personal advancement, and entrepreneurship targeted at MSM of color.  At my height for workshops it was standing room only, three days a week, upwards of 200+ men.  I was photocopying my handouts to the financial chagrin of the organizations I worked for, personally buying and giving to participants some of the better more culturally democratic books I’d found.  It slowly dawned on me that the emails I was constantly getting from other cities around the nation from men who’d enjoyed the information from my television show, online videos, and blogs, meant that for the thousands I’d met and taught in just New York City, there were multiples of hundreds of thousands more, without hub organizations, who wanted information as well.
               The work then has become to package good, useful, healthy information, much as how I design workshops.  Without bias to ideas and practices that I might not agree to but maintaining the same non-judgmental attitude I maintain in my workshops.  This non-judgment comes from the fact that I personally believe that sexuality is unique within you, that you are divinely blessed with it, that it is not for question or sanction beyond consent and excluded from unfair manipulation/coercion.  I believe that no one’s sexuality is up for question by another—that what and how you identify as today and what you do and identify as tomorrow is perfectly fine, as long as you notify those of us with whom you’re engaging and need to know. 
               I also believe one of the major divergences culturally speaking stems from the wider socialized ramification of White gay men wanting to be acceptable and maintain privilege from a White culture as a dominant culture base, therefore there’s both a rebellious freedom that manifests as a desire to explain and justify one’s sexuality that borders on the obsessive.  But this modality follows the ontology (nature of reality), epistemology (system of knowing), methodology (gathering of information), axiology (ethics and values) psychological paradigm of the dominant culture: quantification, explanation, qualification.  Cultures and ethnicities throughout history, that were not exclusively of a Westernized paradigm as we know it now, have always had the content of non-heterosexuality and context for other than simply heterosexual sexualities.  And they haven’t included the near-neurotic public flagellation of self exposure to gain social acceptance.  Dealing with that demand from the White gay community, often alienates men of color because our praxis to the Universe as a whole, not just society, is more community based and spiritually connected. 
               I know, that’s a headful. 
               Simply put, people of color are more socialized to the We and how do I relate into the We; White people tend to see I as the Westernized democratic and rugged individual I, and question how the I fits into the We of community or they leave and form new and appropriate communities to satisfy their I
               People of color steeped in traditions of We carry our communities and may visit or settle or annex other communities but we’re always of the We of African American, Southern, Northern, Latino, Dominican, Mexican, la familia, etc.---we’re far more attached to the origin community, which makes it harder to abandon our communities when they notify us as to what they exclude.  We, people of color, tend to abdicate our public identity for community inclusion because we’ve also been taught by our own communities of birth how dangerous it is to be without a community or to be exclusively among White people.  Sexuality for men of color is intertwined with race and has to be developed, answered and lived in accordance with that basic social mindset, before, with, and past it, in order to transcend it.

               The Universe or spiritual contextualization of ourselves comes from such an emphasis on spiritualized identification to identity within communities of color whether directly through churches/religion or more generally, through taught practical awareness of a relationship to a Creator.  I discovered in years of workshops with men (yes, sometimes women) that sexuality was often spoken of in spiritual terms and far more fluidic in regards to the sexuality and gender of partners.  The language of heterosexuality, homosexuality or bisexuality is science based---the external examination, quantification and qualification of the human being to an experience, again through an ontological examination from the dominant culture.  However I’ve found that the fluidity that men of color can experience is because of the internalized identification of self connected to spirit and the dissonance for us comes from a pseudo scientific labeling brought to explain and quantify to physical actions.  Many men talked about being DL, freaking, getting down, being in the Life as action but wouldn’t accept labels of homosexual to their self/sexuality/internal identity but would to their actions.  They would then further identify their spiritual selves, their inner selves, as multi-dimensional which align with the other indigenous cultures, such as Native Americans having terms like two-spirited
               The praxis of basic identification of self to the community, self and the Universe can be often vastly different, occasionally similar, or even rarely, nearly the same, when people of varying racers, cultures and ethnicities discuss sexuality in relationship to self.  Curiously, or maybe not so much if one considers society’s set-up, I’ve noted how people of color abstain, remove or default in public settings (including, interacting or being observed by White people) around sexuality identification and articulation.  Privately or among others of their same culture and ethnicity, sometimes it’s far more complicated than simply gay.  To that end there’s the emergence of the term same gender loving, which describes, yes, the action but also has deeper connotative meaning in regards to include the inner multi-faceted identity, community attachment, and spiritual component.  In further writings, I’ll tackle this distinction and articulation more.

               To the understanding that there is a broader understanding of sexuality for men of color in each of these books and Special Reports, I include Add Ins that supplement what in the digital/print industry have been labeled “special reports”, which historically has come to be in size, approximately 10 pages. 
               The purpose of the Add Ins is one, the wide expanse of men these reports go out to in paperback and digital form allows for deeper engagement on multiple issues then just the titled work; two, the edification of men of color who may come across them; and thirdly, to precipitate and encourage discussion  within the individual, within friendships, relationships or small groups of men around good, useful, accurate information.  The Add Ins generally fall into three to five sections:

1.      Give clear definition to the male body as a basic lesson and what it can and cannot do in relationship to itself and other male bodies;

2.      Clearly define and outline what sexual protection looks like in objects (condoms, lubes, etc.) and what sexually transmitted infections (STIs) exist, their symptoms and potential treatments;         

3.      Clearly define terms around sex and sexuality (this is an organic and ever growing and developing list, please feel free to send in others you’ve heard or known---one of the most fun aspects of workshops I facilitated as an undergraduate student was empowering a room to list every questionable, profane, fun, silly or obscure sex and sexuality term they could);

4.      With direct regards to men of color building relationships with themselves, others and their communities financially, I wanted to include as basic overview of terms and terminology.  At first glance it might seem out of place but non-heterosexual men tend to have more discretionary income however men of color have historically had less opportunity to garner and therefore enact a level of financial education.  What better place to put a substantial chunk and understanding of money and its uses then into the hands of men, who through the very act of obtaining this book are empowering themselves?;

5.      Lastly, a pretty comprehensive list of the additional Special Reports and books I’m working on, have published or can recommend as useful to the growth, and authorization of men of color to live full, romantic, sexual, healthy and prosperous lives.

               None of my works is meant to be an explanation of men of color to the masses, we’re simply too individualized and complex for any work to do that.  What my work is mean to do is provide access, context and information for men of color as they choose how, when and with whom to share themselves, through their spirit, identity and sexuality.  I believe that what you know and believe: your ideology, plus the tools to free or liberate one’s self, move you to personal mastery or power.

               Simply put: Ideology + Liberation = Power.

Enjoy and let me know what you think!

Special Report # 1: Anal Sex for Men with Men

Anal Sex Positions for Men With Men Cover.jpgThis detailed special report focuses on the sexual anatomy, health and sexual positions of sex with a man. With concise language and fun suggestions for exercises this special report is a compact info source for you to spice up, invigorate or explain the complexities of sex with another man. You'll get the help and answers that you might find difficult to ask friends and definitely might not feel comfortable asking a lover. Empower yourself and enjoy yourself!


Special Report # 2: Why Tops Don’t Care, Why The Bottoms Are Crazy and the Versatiles Lie

Special Report Why The Tops Dont Care, Bottoms, Versatiles.jpgEver wondered why all the men you meet, want to date, fall in love with all seem to have sexual issues? You thought that sexual attraction to men would be the major hurdle and yet they seem to have problems with what position they, what position they want to be, what position they like, what position they don't like and what position they want you to be (or not be)! And if they know, they sometimes lie about it. Why is that?
Kyle Phoenix has amassed a quick, fast, detailed resource to answer those questions.


Bisexual Homo Hetero Etc COver.jpgSpecial Report # 3: Bisexual Homosexuals and Homosexual Heterosexuals

Your natural inclinations, thoughts and experiences are valid no matter your age, gender or race and this report outlines why. Specifically focusing on how race and culture are affected and influenced by society and what a person would look and feel like with a broader understanding of their selves.  This Special Report will: Help you see how your race/cultural background affect your sexuality. Help you define your sexuality Help you define and understand the sexualities of others Give you tips for how to see sexuality Provide you with information and resources about ways to have better and more satisfying sex You need this because confusion around who's a what and why they're that what ruins the chance for lasting love and happiness.

Special Report # 4: Gay, Bi, Same Gender Loving Couples and Money: Dating, Courtship and Living Together, Level 1

money couple gay cover2.jpgFirst comes love then comes wait, then comes bills, student loans, the IRS, rent, the mortgage, Visa, MasterCard, your cell phone, his cell phone, entertainment, partying, movie tickets, dinners out, new shoes, a flat screen TV, the cable bill and then love? Wait, wait, wait, before you're overwhelmed and run away from a potentially Good Man, let's take it slow and break it down. First comes asking each other out then comes your very first discussion about money---which pays for the first date? Who pays for the second date? No relationship can get off the ground until you talk about money. What about trips together? Who pays? How much? When are you officially a couple and mixing money, buying each other gifts, helping the other out of jams? Men Who Have Sex with Men don't have the benefit of gender and society to coach them on how to negotiate the resource we must all use, money. Here in this intense, informative Special Report there's a wealth of information from other couples, glossaries of common and advanced financial terms, links to IRS information, home buying information, loans, job seeking, entrepreneurial pursuits and explanations.

Special Report # 5: How To Satisfy A Top

Special Report 5 How to Satisfy a Top1.jpgHe wants it. He wants you. You know it. He knows it. But he doesn't just want the normal A,B,C, he wants you to make an effort, to treat him special, to teach him a thing or two. Can you do that? With this quick guide you can. You'll learn things that a survey of hundreds of Tops spoke about liking, needing, wanting from Bottoms and Versatile men. You'll learn where to touch him, for how long, why and how to convince him to let you do that thing he's never even considered before.....and then you know what? He'll go out of his way to satisfy you.                   


Special Report # 6: How To Satisfy A Bottom

Special Report 6 How to Satisfy a Bottom Cover.jpgYou want it. You want it the right way though. You want him to understand white it takes to be a Bottom to do what you do, to take pleasure in it. Or maybe you've decided it's time to try bottoming out. There's a right way and wrong way, right? There are things to be careful of, to ask for, to learn how to do with your own body, right? Right. And all of the tips, tricks, secrets and feelings that a Bottom goes through are in here. Check it out. Then go out and do it.

Special Report # 7: Discreet, Down Low and Not Out
Special Report 7 Discreet Down Low and Not Out 2.jpgToday's word is discreet. Men use it as a descriptor of identity of who they are separate from gay or homosexual. It's about what they do. Who they're willing to do it with. And what the immediate ground rules are, all in one word." "Get down." "Down low." "In the life." "Do that thang." "Make it happen." "Chill." "Mess around." Masculine, straight act, maybe even married---how to manage that man? How do you find a man if you are married and....discreet? How does a whole lifestyle work behind the veil of discreet? Where do you go when you need to know the signals, signs, strategies and expectations for maintaining a relationship with these kinds of men? You come to the source of the best and most up to date information. You come to Kyle Phoenix.

Special Report # 8: Life Stages, 0 to 21 Years Old, Level 1

Life Stages Level 1 Front Cover.jpgIf you are or know someone between the ages of 0 to 21, who is African American or Latino, and they have questions about male sexuality---bisexuality, homosexuality, heterosexuality, masculinity, femininity and overall sexuality---then this is a fantastic resource! You'll learn about how to date, how to hook up, how to court someone, how to start and maintain a relationship. You'll also learn how to start and begin a job/career, how to plan out your education, how to buy your first car, your first home, managing money and credit and even starting your own business. This book is designed to answer all of the pressing questions around not only sexuality but also designing your life, your future.

Special Report # 9: Life Stages, 21 to 40 Years Old, Level 2

Life Stages Level 2.jpg
You’re legally, socially and hopefully, emotionally an adult now!  Now what?  Covering everything from money to dating; family to love and relationships Level 2 in Life Stages focuses on what bi, gay and same gender loving men can look forward to, plan for and avoid in their first 20 years of adulthood. 

Special Report # 10: Life Stages, 40 to 60 Years Old, Level 3

You’ve turned 40 and you’re in the prime of your adulthood and manhood!  But you’ve heard about mid-life crisis and you’re not sure that this next stage of your life is all that it’s cracked up to be because the focus for bi, gay and same gender loving men seems to be on youth, youth, youth.  Yet aren’t you now the most capable and productive that you’ll ever be?  Yes, you are!  And this book will show you how to measure, actualize and most importantly enjoy the most productive and prosperous stage of a man’s life.                

Special Report # 11: Life Stages, 60+ and Beyond, Level 4

The world has changed!  Your father’s 60 years old is no longer what it has to be for me.  You’re fit, healthy and of sound mind, you’ve got 10, 20, 30, maybe even more years ahead.  What should you be focused on?  What should you go back and do over from the past?  What new adventures are out there for you?  More money, more comfort, more creativity, more sex, even?  In this brave new world, where age is rapidly becoming just a number you’re finding that 60 is the new 40…what are you going to do?  Well, I have some suggestions for you…..

Special Report # 12: How and Why To Hire or Become an Escort

how and why escorts cover.jpgYou, within your divine sexuality, acting safely and consciously, can have recreational sex without shame, guilt or self-consciousness. To that end you have a right to pursue enjoying your sexuality with another. Used healthily with mutual respect, an escort can be a delightful addition and expansion of the exploration of one's sexuality. And if one is so inclined, one can find an amazing, profitable outlet in working as an escort. However both client and escort should be aware of the highs and lows of such choices. In this in-depth guide from Kyle Phoenix, he brings his years of counseling with clients, escorts and massage therapists, coupled with frank knowledge about the body, negotiation, and concerns that all involved need to consider and answer before engaging in this lucrative and sexually stimulating field.                   

Special Report # 13: How to Give Olympic Level Oral Sex

BookCoverPreview3a.jpgYou might have even been doing it for years but have you advanced to being able to incorporate all of the latest trips, tips and advice into Olympic level oral sex. Do you know that it's not a job but a blowpleasure? If you don't think book will teach you just that. From where to touch (besides the penis), to how long, how hard and why with detailed pictures and instructions you and your partner will have hours upon hours of fun trying out different positions, actions and strategies. Kyle Phoenix will teach you things that will take you from the amateurs to Olympic level in one session.

Special Report # 14: Mastering Online Dating for Fun, Sex and Relationships

SR 14 Online Dating.jpgSo many men are online…but is it for you?  You’ve heard positive and negative stories about Adam 4 Adam, Grindr, Jack’d and BGC Live but you’re also still single and clubs and “meet cutes” in the supermarket just aren’t working out.  What’s a bi, gay, same gender loving man to do?  The problem isn’t the internet; it’s how you interact with it.  As of 2008, 50% of all couples met online.  It’s not the enemy; it’s a useful tool to get you out there whether you’re asleep or awake for those special someone’s to find you.  There’s a whole strategy to creating profiles that don’t just lead to sex, asking for sex if that’s what you want or building a genuine intimacy relationship---all it takes are some easy to teach skills, a willingness to allow the internet to be a part of your dating-mate search and you’ll find new friends, great dates, and true loves are just a keystroke away.         

Special Report # 15: Developing Intimacy Between Men

You want to be close to a man.  You want him to care for you, to think of you to hold you beyond just sex.  In this report learn how to develop, sustain and re-ignite real intimacy between bi, gay and same gender loving men.




Special Report # 16: Communication

Everyone says the key to a successful relationship is communication but what if you don’t know how to communicate begin with?  Where should you start?  What’s too much truth?>  Where are boundaries at?  Learn how to have a discussion about the easy stuff, the rough stuff, the taboo stuff and the stuff neither of you want to talk about.



Special Report # 17: Interracial Relationships and Sex for Men

If you’re expressing your sexuality and it isn’t heterosexual, can crossing racial lines be far behind?  Why should you, why should you?  Are all men the same or are White men so different that you can’t be attracted t and loved by one without the history of racial unrest and animosity creep in?  Can a White man love a man of color without imposing ideas of entitlement and privilege?  How do you navigate and negotiate he rocky roads of your own internalized racism and discrimination to come out as a loving human being and couple?




Special Report # 18: Monogamy, Cheating and Men

All men cheat.  That can’t be true.  Then why does it seem that so many bi, gay and same gender loving men do?  In this in-depth guide and analysis, Kyle Phoenix goes at the core of one of his most packed workshops and constantly asked questions.  He’ll teach you how to cheat-proof your relationship and prevent your own wandering eye.=



Special Report # 19: No, Fats, No Fems, No Strings, No Imperfections

Online ads, commercials, nightclubs, in person men and even sex parties seem to constantly be yelling out: “No fats and no fems!  No strings! No imperfections!” How then can you connect with a man as a bi, gay or same gender living man when the demands are so high?  Have men gone crazy or are they using these standards as the new discriminatory marker?  More importantly what can you do to meet Good Men, genuine men who are interested in you and not some Adonis or perfection? 

Special Report # 20: The Art of the Hook Up

Have you noticed that suddenly bi, gay and same gender loving men have gone all puritanical about their sex lives?  What about if you change that for yourself and decide when you want to be sexual, that sex is good and fun and your divine right?  Sex is pleasurable and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t safely enjoy as much as often as you choose.  With a focus on being sex and sexuality positive and encouraging, this erotic guide details out how to have great, fun, spontaneous sex without a date or a relationship having to be the outcome.


Special Report # 21: Where The Single Men Are Really At!

Can’t seem to find a man?  I know where they’re at, I’m going to tell you and more importantly I’m going to tell you how to approach them, get his number (or give yours) and seal the deal.  It can be fun, easy and takes less time than you might expect…and most importantly doesn't involve standing by a bar or a wall in a nightclub.              



Special Report # 22: Same Gender Loving, A Primer

You’ve heard it constantly being thrown around: same gender loving, same gender loving, same gender loving.  Men of color seem to be using it instead or homosexual or gay.  What does it mean?  Where does it come from?  How do you know if it fits you?  In this in-depth exploration, you’ll learn what SGL is and whether it fits you in how you feel inside, what you do, whom you love and are attracted to and most importantly, how you can then fit back into your cultural community that might not have room for homosexual or gay men of color.                   

Special Report # 23: How to Be More Masculine and Attract Men

No fats and no fems!  Only masculine wanted!  They can’t be talking about you, can they?  What is masculine?  What is feminine?  Is this whole idea just some silly construct created by insecure bi, gay and same gender loving men or is this something you can turn around--- honestly identify the hits and misses within yourself, work on and more importantly attract masculine men with?   It’s not as hard as you might think---you just have to understand what men are really saying with no fats, no fems, masculine only; see yourself clearly and not be disappointed with the man you take home or terrified that you’re going to say or do the wrong “non-masculine” thing and lose that special guy!                  

Special Report # 24: How to Change A Man

Special Report 24.jpgHe would be so perfect if he would just take your advice and make some small changes, right?  If only he would listen to you and acknowledge that you have some insights and foresight that he lacks, you could be so good together.  But how do you get him to listen?  Packed with insightful strategies, tips, tricks and guidelines for motivating, convincing and cajoling men with love, respect, intimidation and intensity, this book will teach you how to change his mind and your own about what you can change, don’t want to change and what’s worth fighting over.    

Special Report # 25: Sex Addiction

You like the feeling, the taste, the smells, the sensations, the sights of a man.  You find yourself in the evenings searching clubs or online for men.  Your weekends are filled with escapades that would make professional sex workers blush.  Are you a sex addict?  Or are you just a normal horny man?  In this report we distinguish the two and give a checklist to maintain, suggestions to act out and questions to ask yourself to find if you (or a partner) are addicted to sex…or just having fun with it.           


Special Report # 26: Love Addiction

Everyone wants to love but what happens when it gets out of hand?  What happens when you go too far?  What happens when you find yourself giving so much to get so little in return?  Are you a bad person?  Or are you just addicted to love?  In this report we cover how to identify love addiction, what love really is and where you may’ve gone wrong in your understanding of both.  Also you’ll learn the difference between sex, dating, courtship, patience, stalking and addiction.  You’ll no longer feel powerless and used as you learn how to focus yourself; stop yourself and more importantly, target yourself towards the right man.                  

Special Report # 27: Polyamory: From Triads to Quads to Orgies

Everyone seems to think that a relationship should only be between two men.  Btu what if you realize you’re not built that way?  What if your emotional and sexual appetites want…more?  How do you negotiate an honest polyamorous relationship with men (and maybe even women) to guarantee mutual satisfaction among you all?  What if you have a partner and you want to occasionally integrate a third or go to swingers’ parties or even an orgy together or solo?  This intensely honest report will help you navigate the differences between sexual experimentation, orientation and inclination for yourself and others.                 

Special Report # 28: Fatherhood/Parenting

Does your heart yearn to hear that word thrown out to you by your child?  Do you have children from a  previous relationship and you’re now trying to figure out how to integrate your sexuality/another relationship and your past?  Whether it’s from biology, surrogacy, adoption, foster care, or informal parenting---learn the ins and outs, the challenges and the resources available for you to make such a life changing decision to create a legacy that those you parent will be proud of.     

Many men of color struggle with sex, drug, alcohol, and food addictions---are you one of them or are you in a relationship with one?  In this report we focus on how to identify addiction in yourself or another man and have a frank discussion on the new norm of African American and Latino men who are bi, gay or same gender loving struggling with addiction and where to get help.  This report could save your life or the life of someone you love!

Special Report # 30: Pornography: The Good, The Bad and The Color Lines

Is it unnatural to watch, enjoy and get off from pornography?  What’s the danger?  Is it debasing to men and women?  What can you learn from it?  In fact when polled many bi, gay and same gender loving men admit to learning the ins and outs of their sexuality from porn.  In this in-depth Special Report we focus on the types of porn and their uses and most importantly how to integrate it in a healthy manner into your life and relationship.

Special Report # 31: Start an EBay/Amazon Business Earning $50,000 Part Time for Only 1 Dime

Before I started writing books and producing a television show I sat at home making $50,000 a year on the internet.  In this fast up to date guide, I explain to you how I did it and how you, with no cash, can do the same using, EBay, Facebook, Craigslist in your spare time.  Also I include as an added resource lists of instructional materials and websites that taught me how to increase my business skills and make even more money, all in my pajamas from the comfort of home with just a laptop and a printer!

Special Report # 32: Budgeting Money, Tax Time Tricks and Tips and Credit Clean Up

It’s tax time!  Sometimes it can feel that way year round.  But suddenly as the laws of the nation have changed you realize that there might be taxes, costs and tax deductions that you as a bi, gay or same gender loving man have never considered before.  In this in-depth guide you’ll get a fast overview of the tax filing process with step by step questions for you to ask as well as scenarios as an employee, business owner or parent that you can consider and infuse into your financial actions this year and in the future to get the maximum returns and protections possible.

Special Report # 33: Entrepreneurship: Consulting, Self- Employment and Starting a Business

You've decided that it’s time to strike out on your own, to start a small business and take your chances on being your own boss, being more creative, making more money!  But first you need to understand the pitfalls and mountaintops of challenges ahead.  With a fast guide like this one, some resiliency and perseverance you’re bound to be a success!  Included is also a comprehensive resource list for understanding business, mentorship, financial loans and business systems.      


Special Report # 34: Entrepreneurship II: Digital and Online Money Making Ideas
As we boldly move into the 21st century, even entrepreneurs must advance their skills and look to new horizons.  And that horizon has become the internet.  Packed with real life scenarios, information and hyperlinks to further enhancement this report will help you move your enterprise online and to generating immediate and sustainable profits.

Special Report # 34: How to Create Educational & Career  Advancement for Yourself or a Partner

You or your partner has decided it’s time to go back to school, that in fact as one of the lynchpins of successful life, you need to go.  How to you figure out what subject to choose, where to go and how much to pay?  In this insightful Report everything from a GED to a Bachelors to a Masters to a Doctoral degree are covered (including medical and law school!) with the pros and cons and most importantly how your relationships will be affected whether you’re single, dating or in a long term commitment. Are you stuck in the same old rat race that you were a year ago, five years ago, and ten years ago?  You get up, you go to work, you go home and repeat it the very next day.  Do you watch others get promoted or hired and higher and higher levels?  Have you been passed over so many times that you’re starting to think it’s just never going to happen for you? It’s simple: you’re either a Managerial, Visionary or Strategic leader/worker…and only one of them consistently gets you ahead.  Inside learn which one you are and which one you need to become to get where you want to be.

Special Report # 36: How to Love Yourself

Everyone advises that in order to have a better life you just have to love yourself.  But what if you don’t know how, what if you’ve never been taught how, what if the people who advise this honestly when you try to pin them down are able to suggest to you what to do.  Then this book is for you!
Included are step by step instructions for you to do daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly to love yourself.  You’ll be tasked with measurable goals and shown how to see outcomes. 
As an added bonus you’ll then be able to turn to lovers, friends and family and teach them specifically what you did to improve your life.


Special Report # 37: Marriage for Black and Latino Men

It legal now!  The pressure is on to put a ring on it!  Are you ready?  Are you really ready? What does it mean when your sexuality no longer ostracizes and isolates you from the rights and privileges of the masses?   Suddenly no matter your sex or sexuality you too can marry?  So what’s holding you back?  Is it you?  Is it him?  Is it important?  All things, now being equal, what’s your excuse? Perhaps there are unique perceptions, fears and concerns for African American and Latino men that directly keep them from putting their civil rights into action.  Included in this book are the reasons why men of color are not lobbying for more civil rights as an oppressed minority, what they’re losing out on and how they overcome the last vestiges of slavery.         


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Copyright © The Omni Group, Inc , 2014
Kyle Phoenix, 2014
Manhattan, New York

Kyle Phoenix,

Manhattan, New York 2014