Showing posts with label LGBT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LGBT. Show all posts

Friday, November 7, 2025

Why do black men have much bigger penises than white men, and why do white men obsess over them? by Kyle Phoenix

 Why do black men have much bigger penises than white men, and why do white men obsess over them?

Ecuadorian Man
Cameroonian Man
Haitian Man
Senegalese Man
Gambian Man
Zambian Man
Yup, looks like across the planet the majority of larger penis sizes tends to come from men as brown as a wooden floor. But that has a lot to do with various factors. However the average varies and is evident by certain countries, which are predominantly populated by certain cultures/ethnicities. White men, by an average, seem to fall into the mid range, median, between African and Asian men. Larger men of the median or lower have more to do with genetic additives/throwbacks manifesting and the multiple other factors that influence size.
Gets a mite
smaller
in European and Asian lands, hmmmmm?
But, Kyle, why?
Multiple reasons that integrate to an overall answer:
Melanin
-there are multiple benefits to having more melanin in your body, represented on your skin surface but it also increases/affects collagen production, more skin elasticized.
Diet
-people of color fortunately and unfortunately have differing eating habits than White/Asian men
Environment
-men of color tend to grow up in different kinds of environment than White and Asian men
Kinesthetic Activity/Physicality
-the penis is tissue-muscle so different cultures do different things physically whether that’s sports or general activity. The one thing I noted but didn’t have a fuller chance to fully explore giving a Kaleidoscope Assessment to elementary, middle, high school, college and adults, by culture tended to score higher as Kinesthetic over Tactile, Auditory, Visual.
Comparison to Smaller Penis-ed Men-
if you keep comparing in form or imagination than you don’t know what
average
is compared to yourself.
Genetics
- while there is no correlation to (the social construct) of race being genetic. The only difference between human beings is
blood type
and
ear wax
type BUT we are templates/prototypes as genetic copies-reproductions, from our familial line.
What that means is simply my father was 6′4 and my mother 5′2, I’m 6′2. Her genetics “shortened me” or his genetics increased/stretched me, much more than I would’ve been had she married/mated with someone shorter, under 6 feet. Now apply this to musculature (the penis is a series of tissues-muscle) and the genetics that affect and effect our physiology.
Meaning larger penis men genetically, father, grandfather, great grandfather, etc., genetically offer-serve their genetic possibility/propensity, down their line. So generationally a larger penis-ed man comes from a line of larger penis-ed men and comparatively smaller. One might be larger or smaller, different than his father, because genetics are similar, simplified, to Christmas lights where one light comes on and expressed and another doesn’t, through passed on genetics.
There is no absolute rhyme or reason, which is where the heavy investment in genetic manipulation/genome science is so cutting edge to be investigated. One, to identify the DNA strands and the particulars and two, then mapping what each gene/strand might do, effect, make happen.
Psychology
- coupled with the above, many men, I’ve found in my workshops, don’t understand their bodies/genitalia. In all of my workshops I generally spend about 15 to 20 minutes with a chart or handouts explaining the male body to men.
Body Size 1
-One of the things I teach men is how weight/physical size affects penis size. The penis/length begins not in the groin area where it erects from but two to three inches inside, along, within the perineum, back towards the anus. Meaning the penis length, if measured from where the muscle structure begins is about 3–4 inches from where the penis erects from in the groin.
Body Size 2-
Depending upon a man’s weight and what it should be based upon height/BMI which means that say you’re 6 feet tall and 200lbs, by an average, you have your penis size/length by approximately the charts above. And say you’re around 6 to 7 inches erect, from your groin/testicles, for every 35lbs you have gained as body mass, fat settles-centers around your mid-section/thighs which engulfs your penis by expanding your thighs, groin, stomach, waist and 1 inch is “lost” from the penis length to the body itself. So based upon how fat settles/is gained by your body and your height (which distributes gained weight), multiple factors again, influence penis length/size and to alter it might mean weight loss. But it therefore also correlates to leaner/slimmer men having, appearing to have, more protrusion of the entire shaft as there is less fat mass obscuring the shaft.
Whew. Does it matter, Kyle?
Scene # 1: Black/African Dude
One time I had a hook up in Harlem with a Black dude. We’d chatted online and for some reason I thought I’d take a flyer and go over one evening. We chatted a bit then he led me to his bedroom—-a bedroom door opened—”Oh, that’s my sister,” he said as she slammed back into her room.
(
Ummm, odd.
Strike #1)
He lays on the bed, undresses and I undress. I notice his arm is in the way of his penis——
oh, wait, that’s not an arm.
That’s his penis.
Wait, wait, wait
THAT’S
his penis.
(
The fuck………….? This errant X-Man wants to do what? Where? With whom, sir? With WHOM???? Not today Dick Devil, not today.)
His cellphone buzzes, HE PICKS IT UP and starts a conversation.
“No, it’s okay you can start,” he gallantly says and pushes his
arm
towards me. “I felt like topping tonight.”
Woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Horse Hung Nelly.
One, bad phone manners.
Two,
ummm where do you think you putting that teenager arm? Not I, sir I want to live to walk another day. (Strike # 2 & 3 and the game is official called due to bats, enormous bats, being thrown onto the field without prior warning…and pictures. Before I left home…. so I wouldn’t have left home.
“You seem busy,” I say, get up and start getting dressed. I prefer to get my wisdom teeth removal by a dentist and not whatever the hell that is.
“No, I’m almost finished with the call. You can start,” he again, gallantly, completing misunderstanding any form of manners, says and offers his flesh ICBM.
“I’m turned on by good manners,” I say snottily, dressed. And leave. Using my expectation and affront at good manners to use his bad manners as the reason to leave and not discuss the WMD,
Weapon of Mass Dickability
, in the room, he wields against NYC… Hopefully Batman or
Batty
-man, can stop his dick reign of terror one day in Harlem.
Scene # 2: Indian Guy (East Asian)
Wonderful date or not, who can remember? At one fecund point in my 20s, I purposefully dated 100+ men over a couple of years to get the experience of dating under my belt (a skill lost on LGBTSGLOMNI folk) and Raj (just to maintain our racial picture) popped up, fun date, invites me to his place. We’re doing the monkey make out and he’s been boasting about all the things he wants to do, get done, do to me.
He whips out his penis and….actually he more of plucked it out of his underwear…
actually, actually, actually
… he more of
tweezered
it out…..of his briefs. Dude was jacking it hard… with two fingers… getting it….harder, hardest.
I kid you not. He was a raging hard 2 inches, 3, if you’d spotted him another inch. He was 5′9, 150lbs. And full of
braggadocio
. He was like
let’s do this!
I was young. I was very young.
I laughed.
Yeah, I admit it, I
laughed
at Mighty Mouse’s
small
ong.
Still fully dressed, feeling catfished, punked, and too immature under 30, to know how to deal with this, I got up and left because he kept waving it—-towards my face/mouth. To you know….
toothpick
him.
I’ve been in the trenches!
Professionally & Personally
Years later as a sex/sexuality-relationship professional I of course had to address men in groups and private about penile issues with helpful suggestions.
Gay men obsess over ENORMOUS penises. And with the exception of Rock Hard Seeking a Funky Place in Harlem, most men aren’t that big/long. Now Black and Latino men tend to be girthier by genetics/hereditary and Alphas tend to have shorter, stouter penises and Betas longer, thinner ones—-which ironically Betas being mostly Bottoms means the ones with the long equipment want to be garages and not semi trucks. The science centers around testosterone and estrogen also affecting penis size—-girth and length, hence identifying Beta men by longer penises and Alphas by girthier. Yes, there are random exceptions where both forms combine, like a cock Voltron, and that would be your above browner men.
Have I seen a larger White or Asian one? Yes, but though my numbers in experience/witnessing are higher than average, even higher than the average same sex normally sexually experienced man by a factor of at least 10x—-places, videos, giving out condoms to sex parties as part of work, sex shows, etc., it’s more likely to be in White men who are more height-weight proportionate or skinnier.
White men yes, have issues with male penile size from other cultures because White men witness themselves, their hue as dominant in society, but perhaps deficient in something they can’t completely control to outcome—-genetics. White people tend to neurotically fold, commit suicide, have psychological issues because the social construct of race has a backlashing effect upon them that they haven’t examined. This over concern for penile size routed in competitivity and an imposter syndrome to the visible and invisible “power” their White sanctioned skin seemingly confers but undermines. It takes a lot of energy to control others, it takes a lot of energy to ignore the effects of negative attitudes towards other cultures, it takes a lot of energy to psychically compare one’s self to masses of men. White people are disintegrating in many ways, rotting from the inside, where superiority has been allowed to bloom and now reality, creating an external cognitive dissonance, is manifesting throughout White consciousness.
The new trend is to shave off pubic hair, to look larger, particularly from those who are/feel “Smaller” comparatively speaking to our Cock Avengers list above. . Which yes, shaved clean, sometimes on lighter hued skin, reveals more of the base, adding an inch or so.
However whether being inserted into an anus or a vagina, the receptive partners pleasure—-to a male anus, the prostate—-is about 2 inches to max 4 inches, inside, and
upwards
. Similar to a woman’s “g spot”, so a long or huge penis is more about
psychological ego
—-for both, than absolute direct pleasuring coming from the penis itself.
Men and women seem to attribute power, ability and more pleasure to more penis, when it’s about less/average penis and thoughtful technique, positionality, and partner participation and guidance.
Condoms, Me and Penis Size Issues
I offer all of this from thousands of men, discussions, books, science and my own experience of when I became sexually active in my teens, having to buy
Magnum XL
condoms and buying those to this day. What I found, and this bears out here in NYC, is that the free NYC condoms were too short and tight. When I began working for non-profits that gave out thousands of condoms to night clubs and sex clubs around NYC, they had to directly and profusely lobby that HIV and STI infects were so high amongst Black and Latino men because the NYC condoms regularly broke, due to being made for White men’s penis sizes. The Dept. of Health then started making large sized ones (in an orange packet) but at a 1:20 ratio to the regular condoms.
Yes, a large penis has health repercussions and drawbacks. I would say that what I have learned over the years is to buy really good lube, check in with your partner and try a variety of positions to find a man or a woman’s comfort and pleasure with your penis, as I have. Too much language and porno suggests
smashing
and
hammering
and the God awful skin smacking/slapping of fast, intense penetration which is for theatrics, more than reality. Most people, especially gay men, are bad at sex because their continuous lessons have been porn and other men who’s lessons were from porn.
And I’m sure plenty of straight (brown) men with women have had accidental pregnancies because of condom ripping/rupture. Which made my buying my
Magnums XL
and
Trojan XLs
for 20+ years (and I still do), prescient.
I end all of this with the recommendation that you not only get several sizes and alone try them on to find your size and then your brand, but that if you are the receptive sexual partner also have two to three sized condoms on hand (along with PReP, etc.) as
growers
and
showers
and what can appear and disappear during a man’s ego and hook ups and such, are a wide field.
#KylePhoenix
#TheKylePhoenixShow

Thursday, July 10, 2025

Why does it seem like being LGBTQ+ is a personality trait for some people? Why make absolutely everything about LGBTQ+? by Kyle Phoenix

 

There's a system, a measurement created by Vivienne Cass about 50 years ago that essentially has a scale of where one is at in sexuality (non-heterosexuality).

What makes this so interesting and useful is that it helps to codify to people and people like me (teachers-counselors) what we’re seeing in them, where they’re at. I was an LGBT Youth Coordinator so the youth, from 14 to 27, were all over the map in terms of life experience and sexuality/sexual experience. I was able to introduce the map to them and further help them see Identity-Sexuality as a progression.

What the above did was it also allowed me to isolate the differences between Out and Closeted.

Most importantly, what this did was it helped to isolate them being able to evaluate their peers and older men for the stages they were in and why.

When men are extremely Out, I’m talking Grand Marshall of the Gay Parade, they’re essentially a Level 5, Identity Pride. Some people stay there for a really long time because there isn’t much else to their identity to take primacy. We often assume that people are well-rounded or expansive but in truth at least 50% of the population are defined by very narrow criteria within their identity: family, gender roles, biological sex, religion, ethnicity/race, and maybe work/vocation.

So to NOT be heterosexual is a really big thing in about 50% of the Out (all) folk (and it also explains the reticence of the Closeted folk).

Ironically one of the reasons why I was able to be the Youth Coordinator was because I was a Level 6, I had achieved Identity Synthesis in that I’d been out close to 15 years when I started, I’d been in several men’s groups, on TV talking about sexuality, at jobs, in the newspaper—Out, Out, Out, Out, implying to all directly or by inference my sexuality. (Even now when taping my TV show I often think in the middle of some lesson—-Do I have to directly say or explain a connection to this sexuality idea or experience? Do I have to experience-signal or is just discussing this an outing of myself? Does anyone think I would be doing this sexuality topic if I wasn’t one of the rings on the bullseye?)

I can honestly tell you that I often forget about my omnisexuality, unless I’m scoping the male and female (and in NYC, in-between and other) hotties. Unless I’m thinking a passing sexual idea/thought about a person.

I also don't think about race a lot unless I’m thinking about other people and/or teaching My sexuality and ethnicity are sort of not simplistically baked in but more of sections or storage rooms in a big house that is Kyle.

People who are really, really really flamboyantly gay sort of have moved into a house and decorated all of the rooms very gay.

Why they do this varies. Some of it is for the sheer pleasure and comfort of being authentically themselves after years/families/religions of oppression. Also being out acts as a homing device for other men to find you for interest/romance/sex. I noticed over the years that I was confusing folk, men and women, attracting confused folk and then ending up confused myself because I wasn’t directly doing or being Out in ways that would signal who and what I was and interested in. Not from any point of shame or fear but it simply didn’t manifest for me in that way past the first couple of years of coming out at 18–21. I wore the Red Hot & Dance t-shirts, bought Chippendales calendars for my bedroom and went out to night clubs. Then I went off to college at 21, did workshops and seminars on sexuality, wrote articles and fiction stories and by my Senior year was less about my race and sexuality then I was about being Kyle, a writer and eventually a teacher. Then I started working in corporate America at a variety of big companies Citi, MetLife, Goldman Sachs, law firms and then I went back into education at a charter school—-it never occurred to me to be in the closet or to go to a parade.

(I’ve only been to two Gay Parades (one by work-force, I worked for GMHC and -part of the hiring contract was the understanding that we staff would cover one Pride event and the May AIDS Walk. The 2nd Gay Parade, I just happened to be in midtown when it passed by one Sunday so I took pics, particularly of the lone Chinese men with a Jesus Will Burn You sign—-I thought it was kind of courageous and sweet to be in his checkered shirt and chinos just protesting away—-in the center of thousands of oppositional New Yorkers in the street and on the sidewalks.)

I generally don't go to parades because I don't like excessive heat or loud noises/crowds—-unless I’m really planning on it—-a Prince concert, a Janet Jackson concert, etc..

So as a rather staid Alpha I have to remember to have a pin or a ring or a necklace with a rainbow because part of Level 6 is you’re unconscious to both gay and not gay folk, you’re not seeking attention about your sexuality. I’m no prude nor secretive, you can literally type my name into the internet and books, videos, my TV show will appear and there are plenty of gay topics abounding in all of those mediums. So I’m like so Out that I don't even think of Out and Closeted unless I’m talking to or about someone Closeted.

Perhaps that’s what Level 5 is—-definitely displaying that you’re no longer in the Closet?

#KylePhoenix

#TheKylePhoenixShow

Adding comments disabled

That Vivienne Cass system is really very interesting, Kyle. Over the years, experimenting with my sexuality and gradually moving through the sexual orientation spectrum, I came to realise only late last year that “yes, I am probably gay”…although not fully gay, more like homoflexible gay. And I believe that I am at stage 4 now, at the Acceptance stage, with a few toes dipped lightly in stage 5. That sort of aligns with the “Out/Not Out” flowchart you also displayed. I am not out to the world in general, but am out to a few very trusted people who are very accepting of me. Not out to my wife as she is pretty homophobic at the best of times, and not empathic towards anyone not displaying what she considers as “normality”, and we are like best friends but not really romantically or sexually involved. However, I do feel that I have wanted to be out to a few people in recent times, and the truth be told, I believe that one day in the future, when my daughter is grown up and both my wife and I reach the natural conclusion that life apart would be more fulfilling for us, we will separate amicably and after some introspection and “me time”, I will end up coming out fully and then start dating with the aim of finding a compatible man for a life partner/husband.

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It’s not fair to conceal your sexuality from your wife. She doesn’t even realize she’s living a lie.

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