Why do black men have much bigger penises than white men, and why do white men obsess over them? by Kyle Phoenix

 Why do black men have much bigger penises than white men, and why do white men obsess over them?

Ecuadorian Man

Cameroonian Man

Haitian Man

Senegalese Man

Gambian Man

Zambian Man

Yup, looks like across the planet the majority of larger penis sizes tends to come from men as brown as a wooden floor. But that has a lot to do with various factors. However the average varies and is evident by certain countries, which are predominantly populated by certain cultures/ethnicities. White men, by an average, seem to fall into the mid range, median, between African and Asian men. Larger men of the median or lower have more to do with genetic additives/throwbacks manifesting and the multiple other factors that influence size.

Gets a mite

smaller

in European and Asian lands, hmmmmm?

But, Kyle, why?

Multiple reasons that integrate to an overall answer:

Melanin

-there are multiple benefits to having more melanin in your body, represented on your skin surface but it also increases/affects collagen production, more skin elasticized.

Diet

-people of color fortunately and unfortunately have differing eating habits than White/Asian men

Environment

-men of color tend to grow up in different kinds of environment than White and Asian men

Kinesthetic Activity/Physicality

-the penis is tissue-muscle so different cultures do different things physically whether that’s sports or general activity. The one thing I noted but didn’t have a fuller chance to fully explore giving a Kaleidoscope Assessment to elementary, middle, high school, college and adults, by culture tended to score higher as Kinesthetic over Tactile, Auditory, Visual.

Comparison to Smaller Penis-ed Men-

if you keep comparing in form or imagination than you don’t know what

average

is compared to yourself.

Genetics

- while there is no correlation to (the social construct) of race being genetic. The only difference between human beings is

blood type

and

ear wax

type BUT we are templates/prototypes as genetic copies-reproductions, from our familial line.

What that means is simply my father was 6′4 and my mother 5′2, I’m 6′2. Her genetics “shortened me” or his genetics increased/stretched me, much more than I would’ve been had she married/mated with someone shorter, under 6 feet. Now apply this to musculature (the penis is a series of tissues-muscle) and the genetics that affect and effect our physiology.

Meaning larger penis men genetically, father, grandfather, great grandfather, etc., genetically offer-serve their genetic possibility/propensity, down their line. So generationally a larger penis-ed man comes from a line of larger penis-ed men and comparatively smaller. One might be larger or smaller, different than his father, because genetics are similar, simplified, to Christmas lights where one light comes on and expressed and another doesn’t, through passed on genetics.

There is no absolute rhyme or reason, which is where the heavy investment in genetic manipulation/genome science is so cutting edge to be investigated. One, to identify the DNA strands and the particulars and two, then mapping what each gene/strand might do, effect, make happen.

Psychology

- coupled with the above, many men, I’ve found in my workshops, don’t understand their bodies/genitalia. In all of my workshops I generally spend about 15 to 20 minutes with a chart or handouts explaining the male body to men.

Body Size 1

-One of the things I teach men is how weight/physical size affects penis size. The penis/length begins not in the groin area where it erects from but two to three inches inside, along, within the perineum, back towards the anus. Meaning the penis length, if measured from where the muscle structure begins is about 3–4 inches from where the penis erects from in the groin.

Body Size 2-

Depending upon a man’s weight and what it should be based upon height/BMI which means that say you’re 6 feet tall and 200lbs, by an average, you have your penis size/length by approximately the charts above. And say you’re around 6 to 7 inches erect, from your groin/testicles, for every 35lbs you have gained as body mass, fat settles-centers around your mid-section/thighs which engulfs your penis by expanding your thighs, groin, stomach, waist and 1 inch is “lost” from the penis length to the body itself. So based upon how fat settles/is gained by your body and your height (which distributes gained weight), multiple factors again, influence penis length/size and to alter it might mean weight loss. But it therefore also correlates to leaner/slimmer men having, appearing to have, more protrusion of the entire shaft as there is less fat mass obscuring the shaft.

Whew. Does it matter, Kyle?

Scene # 1: Black/African Dude

One time I had a hook up in Harlem with a Black dude. We’d chatted online and for some reason I thought I’d take a flyer and go over one evening. We chatted a bit then he led me to his bedroom—-a bedroom door opened—”Oh, that’s my sister,” he said as she slammed back into her room.

(

Ummm, odd.

Strike #1)

He lays on the bed, undresses and I undress. I notice his arm is in the way of his penis——

oh, wait, that’s not an arm.

That’s his penis.

Wait, wait, wait

THAT’S

his penis.

(

The fuck………….? This errant X-Man wants to do what? Where? With whom, sir? With WHOM???? Not today Dick Devil, not today.)

His cellphone buzzes, HE PICKS IT UP and starts a conversation.

“No, it’s okay you can start,” he gallantly says and pushes his

arm

towards me. “I felt like topping tonight.”

Woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Horse Hung Nelly.

One, bad phone manners.

Two,

ummm where do you think you putting that teenager arm? Not I, sir I want to live to walk another day. (Strike # 2 & 3 and the game is official called due to bats, enormous bats, being thrown onto the field without prior warning…and pictures. Before I left home…. so I wouldn’t have left home.

“You seem busy,” I say, get up and start getting dressed. I prefer to get my wisdom teeth removal by a dentist and not whatever the hell that is.

“No, I’m almost finished with the call. You can start,” he again, gallantly, completing misunderstanding any form of manners, says and offers his flesh ICBM.

“I’m turned on by good manners,” I say snottily, dressed. And leave. Using my expectation and affront at good manners to use his bad manners as the reason to leave and not discuss the WMD,

Weapon of Mass Dickability

, in the room, he wields against NYC… Hopefully Batman or

Batty

-man, can stop his dick reign of terror one day in Harlem.

Scene # 2: Indian Guy (East Asian)

Wonderful date or not, who can remember? At one fecund point in my 20s, I purposefully dated 100+ men over a couple of years to get the experience of dating under my belt (a skill lost on LGBTSGLOMNI folk) and Raj (just to maintain our racial picture) popped up, fun date, invites me to his place. We’re doing the monkey make out and he’s been boasting about all the things he wants to do, get done, do to me.

He whips out his penis and….actually he more of plucked it out of his underwear…

actually, actually, actually

… he more of

tweezered

it out…..of his briefs. Dude was jacking it hard… with two fingers… getting it….harder, hardest.

I kid you not. He was a raging hard 2 inches, 3, if you’d spotted him another inch. He was 5′9, 150lbs. And full of

braggadocio

. He was like

let’s do this!

I was young. I was very young.

I laughed.

Yeah, I admit it, I

laughed

at Mighty Mouse’s

small

ong.

Still fully dressed, feeling catfished, punked, and too immature under 30, to know how to deal with this, I got up and left because he kept waving it—-towards my face/mouth. To you know….

toothpick

him.

I’ve been in the trenches!

Professionally & Personally

Years later as a sex/sexuality-relationship professional I of course had to address men in groups and private about penile issues with helpful suggestions.

Gay men obsess over ENORMOUS penises. And with the exception of Rock Hard Seeking a Funky Place in Harlem, most men aren’t that big/long. Now Black and Latino men tend to be girthier by genetics/hereditary and Alphas tend to have shorter, stouter penises and Betas longer, thinner ones—-which ironically Betas being mostly Bottoms means the ones with the long equipment want to be garages and not semi trucks. The science centers around testosterone and estrogen also affecting penis size—-girth and length, hence identifying Beta men by longer penises and Alphas by girthier. Yes, there are random exceptions where both forms combine, like a cock Voltron, and that would be your above browner men.

Have I seen a larger White or Asian one? Yes, but though my numbers in experience/witnessing are higher than average, even higher than the average same sex normally sexually experienced man by a factor of at least 10x—-places, videos, giving out condoms to sex parties as part of work, sex shows, etc., it’s more likely to be in White men who are more height-weight proportionate or skinnier.

White men yes, have issues with male penile size from other cultures because White men witness themselves, their hue as dominant in society, but perhaps deficient in something they can’t completely control to outcome—-genetics. White people tend to neurotically fold, commit suicide, have psychological issues because the social construct of race has a backlashing effect upon them that they haven’t examined. This over concern for penile size routed in competitivity and an imposter syndrome to the visible and invisible “power” their White sanctioned skin seemingly confers but undermines. It takes a lot of energy to control others, it takes a lot of energy to ignore the effects of negative attitudes towards other cultures, it takes a lot of energy to psychically compare one’s self to masses of men. White people are disintegrating in many ways, rotting from the inside, where superiority has been allowed to bloom and now reality, creating an external cognitive dissonance, is manifesting throughout White consciousness.

The new trend is to shave off pubic hair, to look larger, particularly from those who are/feel “Smaller” comparatively speaking to our Cock Avengers list above. . Which yes, shaved clean, sometimes on lighter hued skin, reveals more of the base, adding an inch or so.

However whether being inserted into an anus or a vagina, the receptive partners pleasure—-to a male anus, the prostate—-is about 2 inches to max 4 inches, inside, and

upwards

. Similar to a woman’s “g spot”, so a long or huge penis is more about

psychological ego

—-for both, than absolute direct pleasuring coming from the penis itself.

Men and women seem to attribute power, ability and more pleasure to more penis, when it’s about less/average penis and thoughtful technique, positionality, and partner participation and guidance.

Condoms, Me and Penis Size Issues

I offer all of this from thousands of men, discussions, books, science and my own experience of when I became sexually active in my teens, having to buy

Magnum XL

condoms and buying those to this day. What I found, and this bears out here in NYC, is that the free NYC condoms were too short and tight. When I began working for non-profits that gave out thousands of condoms to night clubs and sex clubs around NYC, they had to directly and profusely lobby that HIV and STI infects were so high amongst Black and Latino men because the NYC condoms regularly broke, due to being made for White men’s penis sizes. The Dept. of Health then started making large sized ones (in an orange packet) but at a 1:20 ratio to the regular condoms.

Yes, a large penis has health repercussions and drawbacks. I would say that what I have learned over the years is to buy really good lube, check in with your partner and try a variety of positions to find a man or a woman’s comfort and pleasure with your penis, as I have. Too much language and porno suggests

smashing

and

hammering

and the God awful skin smacking/slapping of fast, intense penetration which is for theatrics, more than reality. Most people, especially gay men, are bad at sex because their continuous lessons have been porn and other men who’s lessons were from porn.

And I’m sure plenty of straight (brown) men with women have had accidental pregnancies because of condom ripping/rupture. Which made my buying my

Magnums XL

and

Trojan XLs

for 20+ years (and I still do), prescient.

I end all of this with the recommendation that you not only get several sizes and alone try them on to find your size and then your brand, but that if you are the receptive sexual partner also have two to three sized condoms on hand (along with PReP, etc.) as

growers

and

showers

and what can appear and disappear during a man’s ego and hook ups and such, are a wide field.

#KylePhoenix

#TheKylePhoenixShow

What is the most pleasurable trick that someone has surprised you with in bed? by Kyle Phoenix

This comes totally out of left field but it is a good question for me and in the fact that what they did was very simple.

I had 2 friends with benefits, different times but both attractive. 20s to 30s, one Argentinian and the other Japanese.

Carlo

The Argentinian, let’s call him Carlo, was a graduate student and we chatted briefly online. It so happens that he lived in a building right around the corner from a building I had lived in years ago, so I knew the neighborhood, felt safe and found him attractive. He suggested meeting in the daytime, which fit into my teaching schedule, where I often have blocks/days off. I’ll add here that the best hook ups are very direct for me—-not hardcore:

“Mongo want your big black cock in Mongo’s gaping wide asshole!!!”

—-No, but

“Hey, I think you’re sexy and my availability is such and such. Interested?”

Then it’s also important to me that the person—-check me out—-as I check him out—-safe sex, history, etc. some basic questions that show me that he’s discerning and not simply fucking the neighborhood or all takers.

Carlo chatted me up, interested, no rush (men who rush tend to be bad lovers, I’ve noticed over the years), this was his schedule—-which he said would be good for him to host because he lived with his sister—-but she worked daytimes, so we’d have the place to ourselves. I think I told him I could arrive directly from the gym, did he mind if I took a shower afterwards?—-he said sure.

I get there—-like 1 PM and find the apartment—-it’s a nice duplex, his bedroom on the first floor. He takes me in to his bedroom and he had laid out condoms, lube (points for thinking of his and my safety (I’d brought both as well)) but he’d also put down like a futon and comforter on the entirety of the floor next to the bed. he was serious about the acrobatic sex.

We go at it and he’s lithe and fun and not trying to do anything to win some secret prize—-we’re vibing and learning each other and enjoying each other, then it gets really, really, vigorous and because of the floor space, it’s all able to be done because there are no space limits—-so we’re having a really good time.

We finally end up on the bed itself, resting and I realize the 10 year age difference between us is now apparent after 2 hours of vigorous sexercise. I’m resting, sweating, breathing hard and Carlo starts to blow on me.

No, with pursed lips from head to he begins blowing cool air over the entirety of my body while gently rubbing my muscles—-like an air massage.

It was amazing. It was so amazing that Carlo and I met several times afterwards and talked about school, work, dating others—-he was wonderful sexercise.

Ichiro

Again he hits me up first online, chatting away, asking very pointed but fun, seductive questions.

I’ll point out here that most men don’t know how to be seductive, especially Bottoms. It’s not about your sexual position—-as a man who has been safely sexually active—-I’ve been with lots of Bottoms—-no, double that number, now multiple it by 3 and then multiply it again by 5——- it’s about drawing someone in to want to do it with you. That might have to do with being more well read, especially erotica; having good self esteem about your sexuality, being comfortable with your body. Lots of those factors pour into being a good lover with someone, especially when it’s not a dating relationship but a fun sexercise hook up.

I’m generally turned on by a man who is comfortable enough with himself that he teases, flirts, but shows me he’s a sane individual who wants to be sexual in a healthy way.

Ichiro is working late most nights but we arrange a midweek time for him to come over, he has the next day off.

He’s Japanese, in his late 20s but he’s only been here a year—-so his English is half/half but he’s delightful. He’s shy, even covering his mouth when he laughs, but he has the most amazing laugh—-he laughs on the inhale and then laughs harder on the inhale, so it’s almost like a horse heee haw whinnying—-which is hilarious by itself, so you’re laughing at what is funny and then his shy way of covering his mouth, and this HUGE laugh comes out. He’s wonderful.

We go to my bedroom and he slowly undresses——no, he undresses himself in front of me like we’re in some 18th dojo, royal Japanese mansion——-I only have a platform bed, meditation space and plants in my bedroom—-all under candlelight—--which is further exacerbated by the fact that I at home always have soft music playing, candles lit, offer juice, fruits, chocolate, warm towels, a variety of condoms and lubes on the nightstand—-so he’s sort of slipped into the whole mood I like to create to relax myself and others.

Standing before me nude, he begins to touch me gently in a way of not simply offering himself to be touched, but for me to slow down, take my time, enjoy him. Then he turns and he has his entire back, some of his legs, are in complete body tattoos-ornately, brightly colored—-the kind of stuff you only see in movies. He’s seemingly very reserved, dressed in casual clothing but then this ornate tattooing is apparent and I examine it, touch it. He laughs his wild laugh and he’s this amazing amount of contradictions—-he works at a children's toy company but is this deeply invested sensualist in his personal life.

As a lover, he is in many ways like a geisha or a concubine in being firmly present but pliable, enjoyable, making a grand effort to please me and deriving greater pleasure in my pleasure. In many ways he reminded me of being with an Asian woman, my having been with women, there was a delicacy a delightful present femininity and perhaps submission, relinquishing, opening of himself, so that I definitely felt the presence and acceptance of yin/yang between us.

The Tao talks about two men being together and the need to not only acknowledge that between each but to also understand the necessity of the recirculation of chi energy. That for a man to penetrate a man, yang penetrating yin, that yang must allow the yin energy caretaking, touching, softness to be recirculated as the yin transmutes the energy, to “give” it back to the yang. Ichiro did this with me.

He went back to Japan but he left me with a calm, simple experience (s).

Having taught thousands of men in workshops, online, in my books, on TV, a variety of things, it is always wonderful to be surprised by someone. Yes, some of it is to my filter of fools out of my dating/sex life but also it’s about people, men and women, showing up to not simply get something from sex but to look at it as sort of an exchange. To purposefully go in looking for the ways which they can exchange, give back energy.

#KylePhoenix

#TheKylePheonixShow