(Kyle Phoenix review follows)
A 32-year-old Brooklyn man is suing his parents, claiming he wasn't loved enough by them and that their neglect has caused him to be homeless and jobless.
Bernard Bey filed a self-written lawsuit in Brooklyn court earlier this month, accusing his parents of causing him mental anguish and for making him feel "unloved and beaten by the world."
"If you have kids, you're expected to love your children," Bey told NBC 4 New York. "You want the best for your children."
Bey claimed he was physically and emotionally abused and ran away from home when he was 12, and then was in and out of the shelter system after turning 16. He's spent time in jail and is now homeless, and he believes his parents are at the root of his problems.
Bey is asking the court for more than $200,000 in damages. He wants his parents to mortgage their family home and purchase two franchises like Domino's Pizza.
The aspiring rapper said the money would be help the entire family.
"I feel like my parents should want the best for their children and grandchildren so we have something to pass down for generations so we don't have to live like this," he said.
Bey's parents, who live in public housing, said they're not in a position to give up any money. His stepfather named in the suit, Bernard Manley, had some choice unprintable words and maintained Bey is not his biological son.
Bey said he is willing to drop the lawsuit if his family will simply sit down at the dinner table with him.
"Let's work together, and definitely, I'll drop the suit," he said.
Unfortunately, there's a point of truth or validity to this. The misnomer people believe is that children become what their parents TELL them to be and do, the psychological.educational truth is that children become what their parents ARE. The fact that his parents aren't both his biological parents means that there was some sort of fracture in the family, the fact that his stepfather couldn't' answer without being so graphic that it was unprintable means that the man can't self-manage his anger, even he doesn't like something---which is what mentally balanced adults can do---so that Bey probably didn't grow up being taught self-management skills by either one of his parents, nor a most likely absentee biological father.
His parents live in Public Housing---which means that they are below a certain socioeconomic line as a couple which means that they both, combined don't earn over another line. So he, his family come from some sort of poverty---poverty not just being lack of finances but also poverty of resources---resources can be measured 0 to 4 on the Kraybrill Quotient through mental, physical, support systems, integrity, financial, desire/persistence, racial identity, sexual identity, hidden rules, relationships, etc.--- so this means that if his family is getting low numbers in the measurements they then taught him how to BE those low scores as well. He was released out into the world with low scores, in all the things we assume, in a country that sells Middle Class everywhere but ignores poverty. He's also frankly, attractive, which means he was probably prematurely sexualized as a child and unhealthily sexualized as an adult.
His emotional maturity will therefore be skewed because he was raised skewed and has probably never had an influential mentoring figure in his life to re-teach or mediate those skewings to normalcy for the society he's in. But he's come to some understanding that his homelessness/dysfunctional life management has to do with being failed by his parents and not being able to undo that because they also didn't give him the skill set to know how to fix himself internally, which is what healthy parents give to children. 18 is the legal definition of an adult in America but anyone who has ever met a 19 year old knows that they know everything about nothing, a little bit of something about anything and ultimately nothing that can amount to anything because they haven't had the life experience to understand what they don't understand. You stop physically growing at about 25 to 27---that's when we actually reach brain formation/physical maturity and we're set as a human being. If Mr.Bey is 32, he's 5 years into being an adult if you give him maturity biologically/mentally at 27. If he was messed up by 18, then that means that from 18 to 27, probably he wasn't able to handle maturing and growing. A diseased acorn doesn't make a healthy tree.
Should he sue them? He's using the rules of our capitalistic adult world for how you deal with adults legally when they've wronged you or that has caused "damage" in your life. We're upset because it seems like a betrayal to do so to your parents and to question parenting skills. We assume that just because someone has children and the children survive 18 years with those parents that those are good parents yet we know that's not true or our prison systems wouldn't be packed with youthful offenders who evolve into adult offenders and prison occupants. Hopefully from this attention he can get the social worker/psychological attention he needs, the support system he needs to progress because he's still doing some emotional childish things/trying to get childish emotional needs/desires met. He wants them to sit down and have dinner together.
Can you imagine what kind of family chaos he must come from that THAT is his dream/goal and he's willing to go to these lengths?
I mean really sit and think about he wishes they could sit and have a dinner together.
That means the dysfunction is so high, they've never, hardly ever, broken bread together. And if they didn't do that that lets us see that holidays didn't happen, support and love was probably lacking, they don't talk to each other, children and grandchildren were born out of wedlock, jail, homeless and parenting skills are so lacking that the progeny aren't doing well. What we're REALLY seeing is something that also makes the rest of us VERY uncomfortable. Someone in poverty, the 60 million poor we have in America right now, one of them climbing to the next level and using Middle Class rules to shout to the rest of us what it's like growing up in the dungeons of poverty and how most people don't make it out. Ever.
Thank you for reading,
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