I’ve had a couple of experiences, both asleep and awake, where there has been a negative, or what i perceive as negative thing, stuff, embodiment.
I don’t have heavy belief systems about good and evil—-in fact I’ll drop my heaviest—-God is both good and evil, it’s humans that delineate with morality. So I don't’ ascribe to belief systems of positivity or negativity in such bordered terms. I do morally believe and value certain precepts and disagree with the treatment of people, animals, nature in different ways. But I believe and see good and evil as subjective perceptions and projections.
The above is why I have trouble with negative entities and instead see them as aligned to other things than I might not agree with, but no judgment.
When it has happened, I’m a strong lucid dreamer, I consciously refuse it—-all I can explain of my refusal is that I focus on my me-ness. My Kyleness. That which is the Voice inside of me, the energy I meditate with and through, the energy that is me, and I think that through my “body” as strength, as repulsion, as power. I am the Engine and I am the Light and I am the Power. Sometimes, as I believe in God/The Universe in many ways, through many religions that are not Christian, I focus my me-ness through those names and words—-as mental constructs of Power.
In waking/semi-waking, I dozed off once in the oldest part of a building on campus. I awoke with “something” grabbing me, trying to yank or assume—-possess is too strong of a word—-but press onto and into me—-I think just my own wandering Light-Kyleness caught another energies’ attention. There was the impression of a young woman, buried, I believe in/under the oldest part of this building that had originally been the property of a family.
What does all this mean? Who knows. I don’t know.
But I did my—-thing—-I focused my Kyleness, my Me, my Power to reject it grasping to me, holding onto me, pulling at me. And it let go.
It’s happened two more times in the building, so I avoid that building section/campus part now, particularly while asleep or dozing. I am both more powerful asleep but I think also conversely, more accessible.
The second time I was really in a good nap and could hear the thrumming, meditative of the A/C unit—-I was in a back office—-pillow, lights out, but my small night light fan on—-and it was like ink/wraiths, something, came downward from the ceiling at me and I rejected them—-I was standing up naked—-and then I realized I was standing up naked—-which I realized meant I was asleep and that’s how I calmly perceive myself——perhaps, astrally—-which is how I knew a “thing” was happening. I pay attention to reality very keenly so that when I notice something slightly off—-I recognize the difference between being awake and asleep.
The third time was again napping in this office—-I often nap between teaching, classes, etc. to clear my thoughts—-and a coworker peeked in on me. He was mentally disturbed and I wasn’t completely asleep—-so I saw the door crack open, him peak in and watch me “sleep”. Yeah, he was a little batshit. He had expressed both an attraction and dislike/competition of me so I think all of that was swirling around in his overly religiousized cultural framework/mentality. Plus he was an immigrant so I’m sure NYC was a fundamental culture shock, especially with his mental-sexuality imbalances.
After a few minutes—-of what I can only imagine were some form of physical or mental masturbation, he closed the door—-but I believe his intent left a trail, a psychic trail, and I fell asleep and slipped into/seeing him clearly.
He was sitting in a chair, surrounded by several young women but there was an arrogance, a darkness, about his position and thoughts and feelings. I was looking into him and seeing his internal perspective of himself, misogynistic and arrogant (he was married with daughters.). There were all kinds of emotional/drama issues with him and they finally fired him. But from then on I marked him as what I would term “crazy”—-which would be imbalanced and spiritually dark and dangerous. I took measures to protect myself spiritually and ward my space and the space against him. Basically establishing energy dominance.
So there is darkness, dissimilar value systems embodied in people, places and things.
The work is to stay clean ourselves, as best as possible and that’s not some holy roller light and roses bs—-I think what it means is being responsible and accountable for your shit. Do good things and if you mess up, try to atone; don’t proselytize but do listen to others, offer counsel. I find interest in all religions but I’m not big on the Bibble or Islam because of the inherent systemic control structures to it. I favor religions that are about self, interaction with the world, nature and God. I believe religion is merely the passport to God but not actually God. Just the way your passport is not the airplane or travel, just a means to access them. God is throughout everything else besides books. lol
I would like to emphasize that to me this is all natural, all nature—-I don’t watch TV or many movies nor read too much horror/fiction so I’m pretty much stapled here to this expansive reality and not fantasizing about it or having it visually destroyed constantly, nor watching “entertainment” images of people dying and being hurt and such. I think that’s sheer insanity and why its so difficult for people to feel God/themselves, their own Kyleness.
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