Is "Bottom-Shaming" a thing in the Gay Community? By Kyle Phoenix

I had never heard of this before reading a few articles about it recently but it is supposed to be the concept that receiving partner of penetrative sex (or bottom) is somehow inferior or lesser than the giving partner (or top).

Is this prevalent in the homosexual community?
Yes. Chauvinism and misogyny dont vanish from ones context simply from same sex engagement as so many lgbt people would like to believe. Raised in a society that instills sexism and racism from law to land to entertainment, we're in undated to not to want to be women, or pussies.

Imagine one of the greatest debasing insults for a man to another Is not to reduce his personality ---you're stubborn or you're not thinking things through or you have obvious gaps in your knowledge but you're a pussy, a cunt, you suck dick, you're a cocksucker.

Interestingly enough when I was 21 my mother was fixing, loading her gun as I was driving us to a business meeting of hers at a nightclub. She was grousing at dealing with the club owner for a modeling/fashion show she was putting on and kept referring to him as a cocksucker. Finally she noticed it was making me uncomfortable and clarified that she meant it pejoratively to his personality, not as a sleight towards manhood or my sexuality and then she affirmed that no matter what I did in my personal life, I was a man, I was not a cocksucker.

I had of course by then been Out bristled at words but I thought about how manhood can be tied to words of misogyny and chauvinism and how now that I was moving into a gay community bottoms were the lowest form of gay men next to trolls, the unattractive, or old men.

I think not only does the rampant literal fire torch wielding mob of gay men who proudly yell they one, aren't effeminate and two, they might befriend an effeminate but could never be in a relationship with one because if they wanted a bitch or titties on their back they'd just be with a woman----they could of course shut off their homosexuality like a faucet. And two all the pejorative words are female based or related.

I've personally found all of the men who demand masculinity and claim heightened masculine as the most feminine. I once dated a guy who kept relating in conversation that he was a bottom and masculine, ad nauseam.

One, I was dating him for said bottomness and Two, he was effeminate. On a scale of 1 to 10, a solid 6, 7. He often said honey and oooh, girl. He later relayed in college his nickname had been Beiotch. When I expect he was a 9.

I think it must be really hard to be a bottom, not the best aspect to share at Thanksgiving with aunts, the desire to be filled by a man, penetrated, smashed, banged out, done well, left sore, the drum beat, legs sore, ass tingling.



That's not the social image we have of men and lgbt people for all their language about diversity, want deeply to be included...and to be included means the norm rests in the majority. So bottoms, 85% of the msm population are a minority within society, men who voluntarily seek to be penetrated. The idea of penetration literally alien to basic male heterosexuality. And women, still second class citizens----notice they're hags, fag hags, not fag queens or divas----men still slighting women for existing and women embracing the denigrating language.

The vulnerability of being a bottom or the converse of my date, the self proclaimed power bottom---because someone, other gays and women are powerless bottoms?---has got to be anxiety filled. To tell a man that you want to be vulnerable and penetrated must require salvaging by the frail but wide male ego and the rest of us denigrate it for positionality, moans, hisses, gasps, feces and hair deposits, the highest infected with STDs, the 85% abundance---making a bottom seem replaceable and disposable----leaves bottoms prevalent but as viable men, useless to men raised with chauvinistic and misogynistic beliefs. Its got to be even more of a mindfuck for your core desire, beyond even the judgment of same sexing, to be pleasure in that position.

The best thing I can say from experience was I dated this guy Jerry who glories on his bottomness. He spoke one of his body, his maleness, his ass, his anus, his prostate with a connected masculine-feminine spirituality that literally made me make every effort to fuck him well and often....because it made him happy.

I wish that intense, self connected pleasure to every bottom and encourage fellow tops to help bottoms feel and express that ecstasy, its a beautiful thing to witness and participate in when all the bullshit is out of the way.

I would take days off of work just to roll and rut with him, you hear me!




Kyle Phoenix
(This answer originally appeared on my Quora page)
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www.kylephoenix.com

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