Let’s call it some insane Powerball that is kind enough to be $2+ billion and I am the sole winner so I suddenly get $1 billion after taxes. Or at least $900+ million—-which I think if you have assets of $400-$500 million, you’re basically a billionaire—-because you could borrow/buy/leverage your way to $1 billion.
$1 Billion (ish)….on Tuesday
If it’s a lottery win I have 30 days before we have to do a press conference. I used to work in securities litigation so I worked for 3 HUGE law firms here in NYC. There’s one downtown that I would go to and convene a meeting with wealth managers and my new lawyers—-which I’m sure they could help set up and at least 3 banks. I would divide up the money $350 million to Chase & Citibank and $300 million to Wells Fargo. I would need entities large enough to handle such a transaction and be reasonably sure they could hold the “cash”.
Thinking-Learning Time
I would probably enroll in some sort of in-person accelerated wealth management courses, finance classes, go on a deep learning dive for several months before making any concrete money transfers other than living expenses, security at a high end hotel. Anyone who tried to rush me would be fired. I would maybe donate to charities or get multiple consulting time with wealth managers as well as other billionaires before making any moves.
My next move would be investments where I could get a reasonable 3–10% off of every dollar. because I can afford to put in multiples of dollars I can afford a lower compounding interest rate if there’s long term stability/compounding. This is probably going to involve Vanguard and several other large investment/hedge funds.
I would probably use each bank to reduce the cash in them to $100 million each—-about $700 million in investments including stocks, long term bonds, treasury bonds.
Small Business Investment
I would then use at least 50% of the 3 accounts to invest in small to medium businesses—-about $150 million. This would take some time to vet/proof businesses but I would want 10 to 50% and other than have my team of accountants and lawyers watching them and providing monthly, quarterly and yearly statements—-I wouldn’t interrupt the current business owners in their work—-they would simply have a supply of cash to support their endeavors. (I might even rewatch Shark Tank and look for good ideas that the Sharks didn’t go into and pick the prime ones out of those. (That $150 million would take maybe 5 to 10 years to spend/invest.)
I would use one of the remaining accounts of $50 million to set up a holding/management company that was in charge of overseeing my investments and the businesses with annual goals and as a resource/thinktank to cross pollinate industries. Like I would buy into transport companies IT repair companies, etc. and then make those service companies available to the other businesses manufacturing, retail, service, etc. to help lower costs, but at the same time recirculate the businesses’ expenses back into my holding/management company to further reinvest/offset taxes.
Taxes/Expenses
The 2nd $50 million I might need/use for taxes/expenses and I would use as much of it as possible to create an investment real estate fund—-something to offset taxes with an appreciation of 3 to 5% a year. Tracts of private houses in B+ middle class neighborhoods, perhaps a large apartment building or two under $5 million. Slow, reliable dogs that are going to drudge on with good maintenance for people who will rent for decades.
Personal Funds
The final $50 million account I would use as my personal funding—-a nice condo in Manhattan—-under a million or two, with good security. A house nearby in New Jersey or Pennsylvania, for a splash of suburbia/mountain living, weekend getaway. Then I might get a large tract of land in Virginia or California, a ranch of some sort, again with a small business maybe attached to it——dozens of acres, gardens, farmland, horses, livestock. Then a small island in the Caribbean as a vacation spot, under $5 million and then maybe a condo, pied a terre in Paris, London, Italy and a small place in some place like Australia or New Zealand (in case of nuclear war. lol) About $10 million or so spent on residences.
Except for the ranches none of the properties would be too ostentatious—-I would tell people—-hopefully I could disguise myself or die down the lottery press conference after a few years, that I worked in consulting—-a splash of money, yes, but not a billion. The feeling sense would be I might have tens of millions, maybe closing in on a hundred but certainly not hundreds/a billion. I would live reasonable upper middle class but not too high on the hog and I would do something—-which i would frame to people as “going to work” in NYC every few weeks or so.
I would probably do a rotation of vetted professional sex workers/escorts until I met someone (or not). Arm candy. Fun people who sign NDAs and accompany me to the island and parties. I’d buy my way into a few big conferences and parties—-meet some people but keep my profile low. Gentle philanthropic work, appearance checks, under $100k, but not heavy money. I would probably redirect some of the companies I was invested in to donate to, support charities projects I liked, using deflection to maintain anonymity if need be. “I’ll talk to the boss of my company.” would be my standard line to get things done without my hands necessarily being seen so clearly.
Anonymity would be my considerable challenge/goal. Moving around a lot, being known by a variety of people, shell corporations that I control but not having my public face on them. Meetings with my lawyers who would act as intermediaries and managers of issues.
Stuff
Furnishings for each place, delivered when I was there, shopping in town/city like a normal person. $100k to $250k
I would insanely empty out my Amazon Wishlist—-about $50k worth of stuff. I might further insanely order SEVERAL copies of books and have them sent to the different addresses so I didn’t have to look for a copy of anything.
I used to have a Bronco II, it was a 1985. I might get the brand new one. I’ve been looking at it online and a couple in person—-I might like them, two or three at different homes in country/city. I would probably get some basic Mercedes sedan, a few again, one for each place and than maybe a Porsche for fun. I went to the dealership awhile back and tried them out to buy—-this time I might commit. Less than $500k.
I would order a dozen or so Emporio Armani suits, really do a good shopping up Madison and 5th Avenue. Shoes, sweaters, shirts from Pink, good but not ostentatious. A $100k on clothes and such.
Staff
A personal assistant, accountant and lawyers to act as a hub, probably two to five people, a small business office to maintain appointments, schedules, paychecks, mail, invites, travel, purchases.
Property managers for real estate I don’t live in, and probably caretakers, for larger ones that I do.
I’d probably have to arrange for some sort of private security which can run upwards of $3 million a year. I would have them quietly perhaps follow me.
Interest
Interest on my investments, payout, dividends, etc. I would reinvest some and start structured trusts for charities and children, grandchildren, etc.. I’ve written before about for family and friends starting a 4 Division System:
- Educational
- Home Ownership
- Business Development
- Life Emergency
One of the lawyers would maintain it and administrate it—-you put in an application of some sort, have a meeting, gather together all of the paperwork and they’ll get back to you about whether it is approved, I’ll pay for it, or it’s rejected. My requirement for say anything over a certain amount might be financial education classes—-6 months or so, on me—-so that I can be reasonably comfortable handing someone $100k to $500k in cash as a life set up.
There might be some grade expectations for tuition payments and then some sort of business/entrepreneurial set up/classes/internship to help someone start a business. Life Emergency would be on a case by case basis.
The point of this system is to keep space/people/managers between me and the administration of money.
And per Bernie Mac’s advice, no one can come over at 9pm to discuss anything. That’s how you get got if they don’t like your answer.
Other than the above I’d probably do the same—-write, go to classes, travel around the world more (during semester breaks), but in calm, discreet ways that suggest I could afford things but was on a budget, that I earned a few hundred thousand a year.
I’m sure there would be a few more purchases along the way, but I would look at the bulk of my companies conglomerating into some sort of yearly payouts and legacy fund for descendants, for education and housing, a step up in life to the tune of $1 million, adjusted for inflation, for each of them and several charities.
To large scale problems, it really is a small amount of money. I don’t think I would be able to change things permanently, but what I would aim to do would be to stabilize and enhance individuals who would then be able to solve problems. I would probably have a human capital-education goal overall to my monies’ effect.
Personally, I’d be a quiet, invisible billionaire.
It’s kind of good. I was just laying in bed, cuddled with my wealth of pillows and comforters and thinking on what my next moves were going to be. Two books had arrived from the printer (of course there are minor corrections, but that’s to be expected.)
Rewind.
I was on the #5 bus headed up Broadway to the post office to pick up this box of books. And since it was just a short jaunt of a few blocks, I had my phablet and was listening to music but hadn’t brought along a book. So I was thinking.
I was thinking about a past relationship and as I am inclined to do—-getting a little steamed about the thought, person, argument. Replaying it in my head and looking at it from a new angle—-which was spurred by a spontaneous dinner with a colleague a few weeks ago and she’d asked me about my dating life, as we’d talked about hers. I laughingly told her a comment a guy had made, judgmental but complimentary, yet it had taken me a couple of years past the relationship, to realize he meant that he was intimidated by me. It didn’t help that my bus ride, weeks later, was to pick up a book that had included bits and pieces of that relationship, fictionalized.
This is why said gumball was rolling around at the back of my mind. I get to the post office——frightened there will be a long line in the middle of the afternoon—-no line! I wait maybe 30 seconds and hand my slip to the attendant and a minute later have this huge box in my tote bag. I open it in the park across the street and the books are brand new and sexy and pretty and heavy and smell good and when I page flip, the text is crisp and visible.
I start smiling and beaming, overjoyed.
I realized, running mentally through past classmates and friends and folk who wanted to be writers that I’m standing here with more of my books, adding to the passel selling around the world. I’m not just blooming with gratitude and joy, I’m grateful that I’m not living the tortured life of some other folk.
I made a decision over 10 years ago to step out of the matrix known as Corporate America——having done financial work, securities litigation work, a host of things, a strong resume——for education and then used my time to control my schedule and to simply write.
Write, I do.
When I was young, scoring 6,7,8 grades ahead of my own peers on Standardized tests and imagining what I might be interested in, I was writing. I never took my writing “business” seriously so after undergrad I went into companies because they were “serious business”. You get to go up in the elevator and you have a desk—-that one!—-and it’s yours and you decorate it. Eventually I didn’t decorate as much because I was consulting so there were time limits on how long I would be there. I made it a point to not get comfortable. To not make that part of my identity. For about 10 years or so I didn’t know what the alternative to that corporate identity was….because I liked business, liked the intricacy of it, had owned several businesses as a child/teenager.
I even had friends/schoolmates who sailed into CA, never to be heard from again…..until I saw FB pics or them on the street—-fatter, a lot less hair. I realized they had a desk and probably decorated it, perhaps even the Holy Grail——an office—-a room, a little room in a bigger office, that is yours, but not really yours.
But I get to—-write even this blog post—-write a novel most of my working time, my work now taking up about 5 hours of active working. The other 35 is my writing Kyle stuff. I’ve been offered several promotions, could get all ambitious and hungry, and play dirty games……but I can literally feel the days, the hours, when I write less at work. When work takes up too much of my attention away from my Life’s Purpose.
I’m living and creating my Life’s Purpose. Yes, I know when I die, but I often think about what happens if I die this year? To the books? The TV show? I then think in production plans and product plans, I have to make an Exit Strategy plan for me, in case of death.
I used to think my giftedness meant I could do anything, that I could simply focus and learn and master anything—-which I sort of can. Which for awhile provided a whole range of possibilities.
Then I found this one, good thing to do well, very well, and it all clicked.
I’m walking down Amsterdam, swinging my tote bag full of books I’ve written, good books, and I’m beaming like the sun. I start to think of the ex and friends, near and far, and how they’re going to that desk, maybe in an office, inside of a bigger office, and how I’ve made the conscious choice not to.
It’s not what I expected, but I am happier with myself, little ol’ me.
#KylePhoenix
#TheKylePhoenixShow
