Kyle Phoenix Answers: What principles do billionaires know that millionaires don't?

1. Billionaires see time differently. Either expanded or collapsed. So if I buy stocks I’m not looking for the short term profit, I’m looking for the long haul, therefore I’m looking for a company that has a stability, a growth potential, a track record, a strength.
2. Billionaires generally aren’t trying to get rich, they’re trying to do something else that has the effect from that cause of generating great wealth. Most millionaires are focused on making money, billionaires tend to focus on moving domains, shifting entire industries, getting larger shares of the overall, world pie. By that I mean you can make millions making a factory that makes tires for space shuttles or you can aim for creating space ships knowing that if you can get out there first you can harness the asteroids for materials that are finite on Earth.
3. Billionaires generally move away from hands on work as soon as possible. You create the process for the widget to work, to add leverage then you sell the widgets then use the profits. You don’t hang around focusing on widgets for the rest of your life. The widgets become a part, an acorn to the tree but not the whole tree.
4. Billionaires rely on smarter people. The mistake 99% of people make is solved by John D. Rockefeller when being interviewed on how he was so smart and savvy about so many subjects. The writer sat with him in his office and John told him to ask him questions. He did so. John picked up the phone and within 5 minutes an expert, from somewhere in the building arrived to answer the question. John smiled that his intelligence was not trying to know everything but whom to call instead.
5. Billionaires continuously learn. Most people opt of learning after 1–16 years of school then go on to live another 60+ years dissatisfied. The rich, and pointedly billionaires are always learning, absorbing, asking questions, checking things out. A coworker was talking to me about making music, well really, electronica (since the Quincy Jones interview I’m in agreement that “music” is a term used too broadly) and that he was working on a new song. Then he was like there are points where he gets stuck so I asked what his learning system was—-mentors, school, Coursera, books, what are you doing on a regular basis that examples your I don’t know but a willingness to learn, to get feedback, to have your horizons broadened? He went silent, slightly confused by the question. Now imagine a musician who reads two books on music a week, maybe takes a class a month, studies opera or jazz from a period, belongs to a band? That person is going to have more fuel for his mental creativity tank because he’s exposed to more creativity. Limited people, generally have limited intake. You have then learn how to apply that intake, which is why lists like these are just one stone in the path. Application is a skill.
6. Billionaires know that application is a skill. It’s not enough to be good, to want more, you must build skill and then apply it. You must fail as much as possible to get better at insights. This goes somewhat back to time being so valuable. I’m sure when lifespans are doubled there will be more rich people because we’ll have seventy five years to just learn, to absorb to try things out.
7. Billionaires join industries and domains where a billion dollars or more is merely a small piece of the overall pie. It’s very difficult to become a billionaire in the music business because their are so many musicians. It’s easier to become rich in aerospace or nuclear plant design or stores like WalMart, there is competition but there’s less competition. Millionaires generally are still in spaces where there’s competition from millions of others. Billionaires generally have found a lucrative lane and work that lane then switch lanes and work that lane.
8. Billionaires are willing to take on more and more responsibility. It’s not luck, it’s not destiny, it’s yeah, I’ll be in charged of a global corporation like TLC Beatrice—-now, how do I do that? Most people have limits of how much they want to be responsible and accountable for. So even if they become millionaires in an industry, they might not want to take on thousands of employees in multiple countries. Billionaires are a small group of people who see that road coming, apply some of the above principles and take on that responsibility.

Best book ever on it How To Be A Billionaire, it has great case studies, profiling, specific tactics and theories applied, interviews.

Kyle Phoenix

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Kyle Phoenix Answers: How many people have you slept with? Do you think your number is too high or too low?

Teaching sex and sexuality workshops this either comes up directly or in my own personal musings when designing books or curriculum.

But then I get all technical.

1. Penetrative Sex?
2. Simply oral sex?
3. Feel up/oral sex?
4. Frottage?
5. Do you count orgies by gross or by individuals? Threesomes? Foursomes? Moresomes?
6. Then you have to start the subdivisions of male, female, transgenders, transsexuals, etc..

Then I had to look at phases in my life.

11 to 19, wasn’t as active as I would’ve expected. I lost my virginity, tried several things but stayed at under 10.

Something happened at 21. I was working full time, has disposable cash, could go to nightclubs and several of the nightclubs had make out, sex rooms (I’m talking about you Lime Lite!) So you go to a club, dance, make out/have sexual contact in the VIP Make Out Sex Room then go dance some more. Several nights a week. Then I got all invested in trying things out—-NYC is one of the best places to try things out—-and I didn’t drink until I was 25 and I’ve never done drugs so I’ve been able to be, try or refuse lots of things without consequence or blackouts or craziness. I was like a Sex Colombo for about 2 years.

Then I got to SUNY Buffalo and it was a bit of a dry spell, people thought I was doing way more than I was but it really was only maybe a dozen or so, maybe 25 in 5 years. I think it had a lot to do with having done so much previously and then going somewhere that there were young people yes and nubile bodies but lack of experience. I arrived a sexual Obi Wan Kenobi and all these wanna be Jedis dancing around me. About half of my sexualized relationships weren't students, adults from off campus and I was also very circumspect and private so I never had too many obvious relationships that everyone knew about.

25 to 30 was again back in NYC (and briefly Philadelphia) and the numbers doubled maybe. More opportunity, more experienced people, more money, more access. I also felt I hadn’t learned to date enough in middle and high school, maybe only a handful, so I embarked on this internet project of 100 dates in a year. Not all of them became sexual but I did learn how to date.

Now 30 on I blame work. I started volunteering/working for non profits that focused on sexuality for about 7 years and though I had boundaries in my work space, I only had two dates to a dinners that I was dating outside and never brought him and her back to work events, I think the charge of sexual energy daily translated to me at night. Then I had my own 2 bedroom in Manhattan. Then a nightclub owner was super friendly to me, my group, gave us passes so I took the youth over 21 then went myself then would go on loungey nights (Tues-Thurs) it was a short few blocks from my place and sit at the bar, 2 for 1 drinks—-$5! and write books, novels, manuscripts and the strippers would gyrate, st=lap over my notebook, I’d give them a fiver and slap a booty. A pleasant productive night for $10! I met more and more people at that club and online and my apartment became a nice sexual space for about 3–6 years. I was able to teach about sex and then practice what I taught with a whole different cohort.

I noticed on here a lot of people went anonymous which I find kinda funny and kinda sad. It’s just sex. But peope and their religions and their parents and such have such hang ups about sex. I wasn’t raised that way. In fact my parents and stepfathers had such direct, honest discussions about sex and drugs and life with me that I’m the conservative one by comparative estimates.

I would say that if I had to do a count, and I remmeber doing one abotu a decade ago and then building in all the factors of the list 1–6. All of the encounters being safe sex or the action itself obviating safe sex risk. (No I’m not going to graphically explain that, work it out yourself.) I’m no Wilt Chamberlain, but I’m no shrinking violet either.

I would say definitely over 200, under 300ish. I’ve answered ALL of my questions, I don’t think I have any fantasies really. Been there done that. I’ve been able to write dozens of books on sexuality and teach thousands of classes because of it and ask lots of questions dressed and undressed of lots of sexes, genders, sexualities. But I would again add it’s all been safe sex and I’ve never broken agreements of monogamy. If it’s duo monogamous situation I generally negotiate that we should invite the other or tell the other if that state changes, I’ve never broken that agreement.

(But one must then calculate in groups and if you’ve touched a pit, you can’t acquit even if you never got to whether a glove would fit.)

While my number may seem high, I would submit: How many hours of TV have you watched? I don’t watch TV. So if the American average is 4 hours a day, times 365, say roughly 1200 hours a year, times 20 years, 24,000 hours. Think about all the series you’ve seen every episode of, movies, sports events. Think of all the simulated murders, rapes, violence, misogyny.

I’ve spent about 15,000 hours over those 300ish being intimate, in pleasure, being present and enjoying ourselves, seeking to give joy and receive it, with other human beings, not staring at a screen….where other people are pretending.

The direct benefit? I’m far less judgmental of people and their relationships or their sexuality. I personally believe your crotch is your business and mine. I have no “beliefs” or rules about what people should and shouldn’t do.

I believe in everything, religions wise, but I ascribe to no religion. I think of them all like cable channels…but I know it’s all just TV, a curated, projection of reality but not the reality itself.

I’m more accepting of people’s differences in general. Barring violence or coercion, I’m not on any bandwagons of political hate or upset or social justice blindness or unaware of my inherently imbued racism and sexism and classism that I work diligently to supersede or correct because I do it and think it a thousand ways every day, my goal is to correct it 1001.

I’m very comfortable with myself. I like myself. My body. Even when I could stand to lose a few pounds. And I don’t judge other’s bodies in the same ways. Yes, I have preferences and things I find more or less attractive but that which I don’t favor, I don’t ridicule or eschew as valid under the Sunship. No fats, no fems is indicative of the church of the poisoned mind to me.

I love people. I have learned how to in a short period of time be vulnerable whether clothed or not, in front of a group or not. be vulnerable. A lot of the anonymous I’ve had sex with 4 people posts? Can’t be vulnerable to the world because of_______________ fill in the blank.

A lot less tension and a lot more sexual offers, relationship offers, dating offers. I’ve achieved EricssonMalcolm Gladwell Outliers Mastery!!!!!!!!

Kyle Phoenix

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Forget Setting Goals. Focus on This Instead by James Clear

We all have things that we want to achieve in our lives -- getting into the better shape, building a successful business, raising a wonderful family, writing a best-selling book, winning a championship, and so on.

And for most of us, the path to those things starts by setting a specific and actionable goal. At least, this is how I approached my life until recently. I would set goals for classes I took, for weights that I wanted to lift in the gym, and for clients I wanted in my business.

What I’m starting to realize, however, is that when it comes to actually getting things done and making progress in the areas that are important to you, there is a much better way to do things.

It all comes down to the difference between goals and systems.

Let me explain.

The Difference Between Goals and Systems

What’s the difference between goals and systems?

• If you’re a coach, your goal is to win a championship. Your system is what your team does at practice each day.
• If you’re a writer, your goal is to write a book. Your system is the writing schedule that you follow each week.
• If you’re a runner, your goal is to run a marathon. Your system is your training schedule for the month.
• If you’re an entrepreneur, your goal is to build a million dollar business. Your system is your sales and marketing process.

Now for the really interesting question:

If you completely ignored your goals and focused only on your system, would you still get results?

For example, if you were a basketball coach and you ignored your goal to win a championship and focused only on what your team does at practice each day, would you still get results?

I think you would.

As an example, I just added up the total word count for the articles I’ve written this year. (You can see them all here.) In the last 12 months, I’ve written over 115,000 words. The typical book is about 50,000 to 60,000 words, so I have basically written two books this year.

All of this is such a surprise because I never set a goal for my writing. I didn’t measure my progress in relation to some benchmark. I never set a word count goal for any particular article. I never said, “I want to write two books this year.”

What I did focus on was writing one article every Monday and Thursday. And after sticking to that schedule for 11 months, the result was 115,000 words. I focused on my system and the process of doing the work. In the end, I enjoyed the same (or perhaps better) results.

Let’s talk about three more reasons why you should focus on systems instead of goals.

1. Goals reduce your current happiness.

When you’re working toward a goal, you are essentially saying, “I’m not good enough yet, but I will be when I reach my goal.”

The problem with this mindset is that you’re teaching yourself to always put happiness and success off until the next milestone is achieved. “Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy. Once I achieve my goal, then I’ll be successful.”

SOLUTION: Commit to a process, not a goal.

Choosing a goal puts a huge burden on your shoulders. Can you imagine if I had made it my goal to write two books this year? Just writing that sentence stresses me out.

But we do this to ourselves all the time. We place unnecessary stress on ourselves to lose weight or to succeed in business or to write a best-selling novel. Instead, you can keep things simple and reduce stress by focusing on the daily process and sticking to your schedule, rather than worrying about the big, life-changing goals.

When you focus on the practice instead of the performance, you can enjoy the present moment and improve at the same time.

2. Goals are strangely at odds with long-term progress.

You might think your goal will keep you motivated over the long-term, but that’s not always true.

Consider someone training for a half-marathon. Many people will work hard for months, but as soon as they finish the race, they stop training. Their goal was to finish the half-marathon and now that they have completed it, that goal is no longer there to motivate them. When all of your hard work is focused on a particular goal, what is left to push you forward after you achieve it?

This can create a type of “yo-yo effect” where people go back and forth from working on a goal to not working on one. This type of cycle makes it difficult to build upon your progress for the long-term.

SOLUTION: Release the need for immediate results.

I was training at the gym last week and I was doing my second-to-last set of clean and jerks. When I hit that rep, I felt a small twinge in my leg. It wasn’t painful or an injury, just a sign of fatigue near the end of my workout. For a minute or two, I thought about doing my final set. Then, I reminded myself that I plan to do this for the rest of my life and decided to call it a day.

In a situation like the one above, a goal-based mentality will tell you to finish the workout and reach your goal. After all, if you set a goal and you don’t reach it, then you feel like a failure.

But with a systems-based mentality, I had no trouble moving on. Systems-based thinking is never about hitting a particular number, it’s about sticking to the process and not missing workouts.

Of course, I know that if I never miss a workout, then I will lift bigger weights in the long-run. And that’s why systems are more valuable than goals. Goals are about the short-term result. Systems are about the long-term process. In the end, process always wins.

3. Goals suggest that you can control things that you have no control over.

You can’t predict the future. (I know, shocking.)

But every time we set a goal, we try to do it. We try to plan out where we will be and when we will make it there. We try to predict how quickly we can make progress, even though we have no idea what circumstances or situations will arise along the way.

SOLUTION: Build feedback loops.

Each Friday, I spend 15 minutes filling out a small spreadsheet with the most critical metrics for my business. For example, in one column I calculate the conversion rate (the percentage of website visitors that join my free email newsletter each week). I rarely think about this number, but checking that column each week provides a feedback loop that tells me if I’m doing things right. When that number drops, I know that I need to send high quality traffic to my site.

Feedback loops are important for building good systems because they allow you to keep track of many different pieces without feeling the pressure to predict what is going to happen with everything. Forget about predicting the future and build a system that can signal when you need to make adjustments.

Fall In Love With Systems

None of this is to say that goals are useless. However, I’ve found that goals are good for planning your progress and systems are good for actually making progress.

In fact, I think I’m going to officially declare 2014 the “Year of the Sloth” so that everyone will be forced to slow down and make consistent, methodical progress rather than chasing sexy goals for a few weeks and then flaming out.

Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term, but eventually a well-designed system will always win. Having a system is what matters. Committing to the process is what makes the difference.

A version of this article was first published on JamesClear.com.

James Clear

Based in North Carolina, James Clear writes at JamesClear.com, where he uses behavior science to help you master your habits, improve your health, and do better work. He also publishes a free weekly newsletter on improving your mental and physical performance.

Read more: http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/230333#ixzz2owh40ELg





Smile,
Kyle


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