Our lives are unresolved trauma to maturity where hopefully we learn to resolve trauma.
The understood idea of dealing with your issue is actually Step 2, Step 1 is understanding what happened and how that affected you then, not just now. You can have been in a house full of alcoholics but they were jolly and loving and loud and raucous. It wasn’t necessarily “bad” but when you try to imitate that as a child and then an adult, you learn that you have blackouts, are violent, etc..
The understanding then was that alcohol is detrimental in extremes, even if the outcome seemed benign.
I’ve recently been watching Women Behind Bars—-no I don’t know why either but I keep on watching these 10–20 minute vignettes of madness and story after story involves women who before their Major Crime were abused in some shape or form, sexually or physically as children and just never got “right” or couldn’t pick healthy mates or ended up with unhealthy mates and too many children, too young, before 21.
I should play a drinking game to these tales of woe and pain because I wait for the abuse point in their tale and when it gets to their Major Crime or generally murder, it’s against an abusive spouse or some sort of explosive anger outburst at someone who crossed a boundary or worse, their lives are just so entangled in criminality that something was bound to happen of a Major Crime. What is even more frightening are the ADAs, the Prosecutors who are gleeful at the win or almost salivating at the violent offender they’ve put away. They believe this singular act is always completely premeditated or better yet, intended. When in fact it often seems as a natural repercussion to their prior abuse.
Many of the women get the attention, the therapy they need in prisons—-women’s prisons seemingly more helpful in terms of cooperative therapy than men’s prisons—-or they’re away from drugs, etc. and the vast majority can see the cause and effect of what happened to the Major Crime.
Yes, there’s about 1 in 15 that are stone cold killers who did it for purely profiting reasons but over 90% of them, something happened earlier. The same for my 600lb Life and Intervention. When I watch these docuseries, it seems that more often than not early trauma is the root disease of their current emotional, psychological, malady.
Our challenge, the challenge of the future, will be dealing with what happens to children as a reality.
We don’t recognize children as full human beings so their pain or their abuse is not treated as valid as an adults, because we assume they’ll forget it, move on, it will fade from effect. And yet the prisons, psychological institutions, schools, gun shootings, etc suggest that we’re missing how traumatized our populace is.
Smile, Kyle
KylePhoenixShow@gmail.com
KylePhoenixShow@gmail.com
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