Organizations like NAMBLA, which I’ve had to host at non-profits, though distasteful to our Western general societal view as being contrary to adult to child romantic/sexual interest are “right” in the sense of aligning along the sexuality spectrum.
Now before there’s a thousand and one comments about it being bad—-we know it’s not right, we know it doesn’t work, it’s not good—-here’s a revolutionary idea—-we can disagree with something and yet still THINK about it. Racism in the context of the 21st century perpetuates because everyone screams it’s wrong, it’s bad, shut the door—-before THINKING about it, the same for people/organizations like NAMBLA. Scream into your pillow and on teh internet how outraged at their existence you are….go ahead…we’ll wait….they’re still here.
The problem STILL exists for all of your outrage and no, in a non-extreme reality TV world extermination is not an option. The reason it’s not an option is due to the fact that you have pleasurable sex when there are institutions that insist sex is simply for procreation—-yet we don’t allow them to exterminate you. The institutions, here society and the marginalized, have to learn to co-exist in a way that is harmonious, safe and constructive. Because they’re here.
It’s called TRANSFORMATIVE DIALOGUE AND THINKING not reactive.
To have a paraphilia—-sexual interest—-that in it’s origin was changed by an early childhood sexual experience means that there are now some, not all sexual abuse survivors who as adults have been “molded this way” rather than born this way. However they got that way, they are that way and more importantly they are here in society and even more directly importantly they are organized because their identity is so similar to others.
Now here’s where THINKING past our disagreement is necessary., What are we going to do with them?
All technologies, even social and psychological ones, go through time periods where they align to others to establish a definition. We also have a very narrow understanding of the paraphilia, which is what I had to teach about in a workshop and the NAMBLA guy was there explain himself and his organization.
Pedophilia is sexual interest in children under 9—-pre-pubescent.
Hebophilia is sexual interest in children under 11 to 14—-puberty stage/transition
Ephebophilia is sexual interest in children 15 to 19—-puberty/puberty completion.
Here’s where it’s problematic—-the society around these men and women, sexualizes the people on one hand that we determine are old enough to be in underwear ads, strutting down runway shows, the chicest and most couture clothing is not made for a body that is in anything but the transitional stages of puberty—-have you been to Saks and looked at designer outfits——and the Hollywood image mechanism that directly inculcates and controls the sexualized imagery of our society—-goes for the waif Mia Farrow and on, the young dewy James Dean look. There’s a whole industry built around the concept of Jon Benet Ramsey and baby beauty pageants, Jon Benet famous beyond words but also still made famous in her highly sexualized images. Have you ever noticed the constant pictures of her are not as a child but are all dolled up? The world consciousness is playing, titillated with that image.
In there you then have the confluence of men and women who for whatever reason have had their sexualities altered to the point where they sexualize the sexualized images that our society is projecting out of children, tweens and teenagers.
We’re helping to create and stimulate the very people we vilify.
Now we’re in an interesting place because the paraphilia is suddenly a two way street of creation. The question then becomes if we’re co-creating or helping to support indirectly a negative sexuality, is the sexuality a reflection of the darker side of our society?
If someone has been altered, thousands, probably millions of people at this point around the world, have been altered, what are we going to do with all of these altered humans who are going to live a minimum of 100 years?
Should adults get a comparable life sentence to the lifespan of their victims because they may’ve altered a human being?
However if you look at the above picture, Call Me By Your Name, we now make mainstream movies and nominate them for Oscars AND I would further submit that it wasn’t affiliated to a paraphilia because of two factors, the linkage to LGBT sexuality, therefore rights—-it becomes a “gay” movie and then it’s dominated by White males.
So LGBT/gay has been conflated, the LGBT rights have been used to make the idea of an adult seducing a youth palatable.
We are the supportive and often instigating force to that which we point disgusted fingers at.
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Kyle Phoenix is a teacher, certified adult educator, sexologist, sex coach and sexuality educator with over two decades of intensive experience. He studied at the University at Buffalo, SUNY, New York University, and Columbia University. He has worked, consulted and taught individuals and focused professional developments for the CDC, Department of Education, Gay Men's Health Crisis, New York City Department of Health, non-profits, Fortune 500 companies and unions. He began his career facilitating on-campus workshops addressing a wide range of sexuality and sexual health issues and then moved on to teaching at universities, non-profits, private groups and clients, hosting The Kyle Phoenix Show on television and multiple online webinars, including YouTube and Sclipo and writing extensively through his blog, Special Reports, articles and other print and E books in the Kyle Phoenix Series on relationships, finance, education, spirituality and culture. He lives in New York with his family.
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#KylePhoenix
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LIVE STREAMING on MNN.org 1130pm, Spectrum Cable Manhattan, NY
Channel 56 & 1996, also FIOS 34 and RCN 83.
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Don't forget to watch The Kyle Phoenix Show LIVESTREAM on Channel 56 (Time Warner), 83 (RCN), 34 (Verizon) Thursdays 1130pm
Kyle Phoenix is a teacher, certified adult educator, sexologist, sex coach and sexuality educator with over two decades of intensive experience. He studied at the University at Buffalo, SUNY, New York University, and Columbia University. He has worked, consulted and taught individuals and focused professional developments for the CDC, Department of Education, Gay Men's Health Crisis, New York City Department of Health, non-profits, Fortune 500 companies and unions. He began his career facilitating on-campus workshops addressing a wide range of sexuality and sexual health issues and then moved on to teaching at universities, non-profits, private groups and clients, hosting The Kyle Phoenix Show on television and multiple online webinars, including YouTube and Sclipo and writing extensively through his blog, Special Reports, articles and other print and E books in the Kyle Phoenix Series on relationships, finance, education, spirituality and culture. He lives in New York with his family.
www.kylephoenix.com
Smile, Kyle
KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com
KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com
#KylePhoenix
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