Saturday, February 16, 2019

What type of gay/bi or SGL tops do gay/bisexual or SGL bottoms like? (Graphic Videos and Blog)

Transcript Below

The (Top!) 10 Things Bottoms Are Looking For In Sexual Tops
  • Lack of Judgment. Because being a Top to a man or a woman is the “normed” social position sexually, pointed to as one of masculinity and power and manhood, even MSM, men who have sex with men, can treat bottoming men as less than. It’s important for a Top to not treat a Bottom as less than a man for the enjoyment of bottoming, that he too is like any other human being, pointedly a man, and not lesser, weaker or disposable due to sexual positioning.
  • Interested in Reciprocated Pleasure. Tops often treat “getting it in” as what should thrill a Bottom. That there are no concepts of technique, being careful, being thoughtful. One could argue that the sensation of simply the gripping of the sphincters on a penis make it difficult for a Top to understand beyond his own shaft that he’s still touching, penetrating, impacting, a man’s inner rectal area. Therefore he has to think about beyond just penetration where is his penis going, hitting, touching. Is it too wide/girthful? Too long? Could he be causing damage by thrusting? A Top must have not only his goals in mind for the fucking but be keyed into the goals of the sexual intercourse for the Bottom too.
  • Not All Bottoms Are Created the Same. Every Top has met the Bottom of Babylon who seemed to take his penis into him like a Hoover on steroids. Who reveled in being penetrated to the point where he pointed at objects to use next. That was some freak of nature or someone with a lot of experience. Normally, Bottoms, from novice to experienced, need to adjust to the penetration. To be slowly penetrated and then have a restful moment to accommodate and conscious relax both the exterior and interior sphincter muscles. Outer easier than inner. This means insert, relax, breathe, don’t thrust, wait for the Bottom’s signal. The go ahead may take several attempts, positions, lots of lube and patience. Patience is conveyed with cuddling, whispering assurances, digital stimulation, massaging—-not, “Come on, come on, open up already!”
  • Bottoming Is Emotional and Physical. Due to the nerve bundles and the prostate and the sphincter tightness and sensitivity, a lot is going on. A Bottom is trying to judge all of these signals, sometimes conflicting as well as stay in the moment. It can get overwhelming, it can be very personal. Tops should remember that it’s a very rare experience to have another human being inside of your body, particularly for a man. It’s not that it’s unnatural, it’s that it is generally completely voluntary and not something that he was talked to about as a child, the way women are about having children. Having all of these points touched, manipulated can be full of sensations that, in my personal and teaching experience, sometimes send Bottoms into paroxysms of pleasure, intense emotional outbursts and even tears. A Tops job is to be present, to maintain, to be stalwart, to act like a tree trunk that makes up a dam and simply allow all of this to run over him, to flow past, to not freak out and run.
  • Bottoming Can Be More Emotional. A man is in many ways stripping down the entirety of what his family, friends, church, etc has helped him to construct of manhood to align his desires to an act. Tops have to cue in to what a Bottom is trying to get past just the penetrative act. A sense of fullness, a sense of taking in a man, a sense of connection. Topping can be passionate and fulfilling but it can also be very A to B. Do (condom/lube), pump (in/penetrate), fuck (until you come). Bottoming is more along the lines of relax, open, I trust you enough for this, repeat. It’s less about fuck-fuck and more about fuck-feeling. Tops have to be conscious that while the goals are unified they are differing because there is a different physical sensation occurring.

Video Part 2

  • Bottoms Want to Be Able to Regulate What Is Occurring. It can feel like a Bottom is being bossy but in fact it’s kind of manners to a Bottom to discuss, ask, determine if he wants to be penetrated soft, medium, rougher. Let the Bottom signal, verbally, and if they don’t ask: Is this okay? Are you okay? More? Less?
  • Deeper Isn’t Better. The obsession with large penis sizes really is all about mental projection than actual effectiveness. The Prostate is about 2 inches in from the interior sphincter. The further in, the less feeling and the more danger. The rectum isn’t a straight line, it curves so a straight, erect penis stabbing in, is moving one, past the place where the most sexual sensation can be achieved and two, it starts to get into the area of tearing the rectal lining, a very thin membrane. This can lead to blood and other stuff.
  • It Is Not a Vagina. You might run into a Bottom who is in Bottom fantasy land. A rectum, an anus is not a vagina, the similarity of being internal and capable of bleeding and being a pink part of the body where STDs, particularly HIV are easily absorbed are the areas of similarity. That’s it. In order to clean it beforehand, a Bottom should have a fibrous diet, bathe—soaking in a tub, use good soap and not douche. That’s right, not douche. It is not a vagina. Douching signals to the male body that a foreign object is in and one’s “warrior troops/T cells” are sent out to combat the intruder. Then the Bottom has sex—-protected hopefully (or not, unfortunately in too many cases), but also a condom can tear—-the warrior/T Cells are out, pre-cum/semen is present or completely ejaculated, and the T Cells are attached to and take it back into the body to further replicate HIV. Good Tops recognizing that this is not a vagina, bring condoms, several, and plenty of lube. Plenty of lube. Like make an investment. The best fucking occurs with plenty of lube and good condoms.
  • To Every Ass There Shall Be…. Bottoms are hyper aware of the fact that they want to obviate any trace of feces/blood because bluntly, no one, (okay, some guys) wants a shitty dick. But if a condom is worn, there’s less of a ick factor to what may come out on the shaft. However following proper planning, gentle cleaning and a diet that helps to push out feces, both should be okay. This is right up there with a Bottom’s father suddenly appearing on his laptop in a Skype session as you’re banging him out; feces. As a Top, be polite, courtly, gentlemanly and have Handi-wipes ready, a cloth and treat it as a natural part of the whole sexual process. This is one of the emotional reasons why Bottoming can be so fraught with emotion, a Bottom can feel like from the penetration and pressure that he is about to defecate. He may even run into the bathroom after sex to hop onto the toilet—-his body signalling that maybe he has to defecate due to the rectal muscles/walls spasming in the same way that we do when feces is being pushed out. It’s a similar sensation for two differing acts. You have to be patient because again, he’s dealing with a lot of false-positive signals from his body within the realm of pleasure. Can you imagine being unsure of if you’re cumming or shitting? That’s what the stimulation of the prostate can overlappingly feel like. Patience. Think of Bottoming as a relay race. You can be with a guy all night, doing something, stopping, relaxing, talking, starting up again and repeat.
  • Bottoms Are Aware of Bottoming But That Doesn’t Mean They Know Their Ass From Their Elbow. Superior Tops, grand sexual masters who are Tops, super studs, electrifying men of skill know the below diagram and can discuss it, explain it, use their fingers, tongues and penis to illustrate a Bottoms’ bottom to a Bottom. Many a Bottom have pics of their ass, their anus (quite disturbingly) but that don’t mean they know how anything works. Make it part of foreplay to inform and then storm. Inform and storm. Inform and storm. With plenty of lube…and patience and courtesy.
Yes, I wrote the book on it…bottoming, topping, versatility, etc, etc, etc..
:)
Smile, Kyle
KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com
#KylePhoenix
#TheKylePhoenixShow



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Sunday, February 10, 2019

Why Are Straight Men Threatened by Gay Men? Answered by Kyle Phoenix





(VLOG ABOVE)

(BLOG BELOW)

Rape.
Heterosexual men are aware of the internalized and often externalized machismo/rape culture of patriarchy. The only thing that is different is that men tend to rape women more than hetero men rape men.
But what if hetero men were on the buffet table for other men? What if men, with penises found hetero men attractive? These men might have the same or greater physical strength, distorted mental states, lack of empathy, desire to harm others—-just like some hetero men feel towards women. But they’re big dicked, anally interested men!
What happens when the same lions in the pride or even bigger ones start preying on….other lions!!!!——who thought they were the top of the pile?
Men have no defense against rape because men are rarely put into that mind frame to consider how to negotiate themselves out of a sexually dangerous situation.
  • How would a man negotiate with a pack of homo men who cornered him and decided to rape him? That context of reality simply doesn’t exist for men to have an experience to draw upon for how to run, fight, negotiate.
  • Or what to do if two buddies are at home and a man gets the other drunk and starts to force himself sexually upon him?
  • Or what to do when a gay guy makes pushy, overt, creepy come-ons to him—-was the straight guy giving off a signal? Is he really gay?
Homosexual attention towards straight men threatens the fragile force field of masculinity-patriarchy.

Seduction
There’s also the internalized fear of seduction, of possibility overwhelming the doubts of a man. Homosexual connection obviates the responsibility of heterosexuality—-women, marriage, children—-and that means that if there is a smidge of possible interest than the spark can become a fire. Men don’t have a system within society other than full homosexuality for dealing with deep male friendship and intimacy that doesn’t include sex and therefore the possibility of floating back and forth (experimenting) with male sexuality. That’s frightening.
The narrow confines of male heterosexuality in a patriarchal society doesn’t allow for anything but another narrow sexual classification/intimacy classification. Because the initial system is so tight then heterosexual men see homosexual men as one, more powerful because they can flexibly move from hetero to homo (sperm works without sexuality agreement), which leads to the last point of threat.

Obsolete Hetero men
If a homo men can produce sperm and there’s science or social agreement that can make procreation with women…and women like or even prefer the company of homosexual men…then what’s the need for a heterosexual man?
Suddenly a heterosexual man is competing not against simply hetero men but also preferred homo men who can mate with women, parent, share resources without them. Women are generally 1000% safer with homo men than a group of hetero men and other hetero men who might not be dangerous towards women know this imbalance. So men are neutralized by gay men, often with the assistance of women.
The best strategy for gay and straight men is to make friends and share resources and tactics and strategies for constructing their own manhood.



Smile, Kyle
KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com
#KylePhoenix
#TheKylePhoenixShow



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Friday, January 11, 2019

TKPS Episode #413-The Kyle Phoenix Show: "Lack of Women in China Forces Men Into Criminal Behaviors"




 This week's episode:


"Lack of Women in China Forces Men Into Criminal Behaviors"

Don't forget to watch The Kyle Phoenix Show LIVESTREAM on Channel 56 (Time Warner), 83 (RCN), 34 (Verizon) Thursdays 1130pm

Kyle Phoenix is a teacher, certified adult educator, sexologist, sex coach and sexuality educator with over two decades of intensive experience. He studied at the University at Buffalo, SUNY, New York University, and Columbia University. He has worked, consulted and taught individuals and focused professional developments for the CDC, Department of Education, Gay Men's Health Crisis, New York City Department of Health, non-profits, Fortune 500 companies and unions. He began his career facilitating on-campus workshops addressing a wide range of sexuality and sexual health issues and then moved on to teaching at universities, non-profits, private groups and clients, hosting The Kyle Phoenix Show on television and multiple online webinars, including YouTube and Sclipo and writing extensively through his blog, Special Reports, articles and other print and E books in the Kyle Phoenix Series on relationships, finance, education, spirituality and culture. He lives in New York with his family.

www.kylephoenix.com

Smile, Kyle
KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com
#KylePhoenix
#TheKylePhoenixShow
#GoodMenForMen



You can Like or; Follow Us on Facebook or;Twitter

Or Click Below to:
·                     Kyle Phoenix Website
·                     The Kyle Phoenix Blog
·                     Check out Kyle Phoenix Products on Amazon .com


TKPS Episode #412-The Kyle Phoenix Show: Anti-semitism and Interracial Marriage


This week's episode focuses on:


 "Why is there such projected hatred at Jews?"
&
"Interracial Marriage: Dismantling White Privilege in a White Husband"

Don't forget to watch The Kyle Phoenix Show LIVESTREAM on Channel 56 (Time Warner), 83 (RCN), 34 (Verizon) Thursdays 1130pm

Kyle Phoenix is a teacher, certified adult educator, sexologist, sex coach and sexuality educator with over two decades of intensive experience. He studied at the University at Buffalo, SUNY, New York University, and Columbia University. He has worked, consulted and taught individuals and focused professional developments for the CDC, Department of Education, Gay Men's Health Crisis, New York City Department of Health, non-profits, Fortune 500 companies and unions. He began his career facilitating on-campus workshops addressing a wide range of sexuality and sexual health issues and then moved on to teaching at universities, non-profits, private groups and clients, hosting The Kyle Phoenix Show on television and multiple online webinars, including YouTube and Sclipo and writing extensively through his blog, Special Reports, articles and other print and E books in the Kyle Phoenix Series on relationships, finance, education, spirituality and culture. He lives in New York with his family.

www.kylephoenix.com

Smile, Kyle
KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com
#KylePhoenix
#TheKylePhoenixShow



You can Like or; Follow Us on Facebook or;Twitter

Or Click Below to:
·                     Kyle Phoenix Website
·                     The Kyle Phoenix Blog
·                     Check out Kyle Phoenix Products on Amazon .com


Thursday, November 15, 2018

TKPS Episode #411-The Kyle Phoenix Show



TKPS EPISODE #411-The Kyle Phoenix Show


Identity Series (Part 2) of The Exploration of Black Activist Rakem Balogun and the Texas Activism Movement


Don't forget to watch The Kyle Phoenix Show LIVESTREAM on Channel 56 (Time Warner), 83 (RCN), 34 (Verizon) Thursdays 1130pm

Kyle Phoenix is a teacher, certified adult educator, sexologist, sex coach and sexuality educator with over two decades of intensive experience. He studied at the University at Buffalo, SUNY, New York University, and Columbia University. He has worked, consulted and taught individuals and focused professional developments for the CDC, Department of Education, Gay Men's Health Crisis, New York City Department of Health, non-profits, Fortune 500 companies and unions. He began his career facilitating on-campus workshops addressing a wide range of sexuality and sexual health issues and then moved on to teaching at universities, non-profits, private groups and clients, hosting The Kyle Phoenix Show on television and multiple online webinars, including YouTube and Sclipo and writing extensively through his blog, Special Reports, articles and other print and E books in the Kyle Phoenix Series on relationships, finance, education, spirituality and culture. He lives in New York with his family.

www.kylephoenix.com

Smile, Kyle
KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com
#KylePhoenix
#TheKylePhoenixShow



You can Like or; Follow Us on Facebook or;Twitter

Or Click Below to:
·                     Kyle Phoenix Website
·                     The Kyle Phoenix Blog
·                     Check out Kyle Phoenix Products on Amazon .com


LIVE STREAM TKPS Episode #411-The Kyle Phoenix Show



Don't forget to watch The Kyle Phoenix Show LIVESTREAM on Channel 56 (Time Warner), 83 (RCN), 34 (Verizon) 
Thursdays 
1130pm EST


Kyle Phoenix is a teacher, certified adult educator, sexologist, sex coach and sexuality educator with over two decades of intensive experience. He studied at the University at Buffalo, SUNY, New York University, and Columbia University. He has worked, consulted and taught individuals and focused professional developments for the CDC, Department of Education, Gay Men's Health Crisis, New York City Department of Health, non-profits, Fortune 500 companies and unions. He began his career facilitating on-campus workshops addressing a wide range of sexuality and sexual health issues and then moved on to teaching at universities, non-profits, private groups and clients, hosting The Kyle Phoenix Show on television and multiple online webinars, including YouTube and Sclipo and writing extensively through his blog, Special Reports, articles and other print and E books in the Kyle Phoenix Series on relationships, finance, education, spirituality and culture. He lives in New York with his family.

www.kylephoenix.com

Smile, Kyle
KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com
#KylePhoenix



You can Like or; Follow Us on Facebook or;Twitter

Or Click Below to:
·                     Kyle Phoenix Website
·                     The Kyle Phoenix Blog
·                     Check out Kyle Phoenix Products on Amazon .com