The evaluation of a partner when there is a large cache of resources involved or to the potential future, an issue I’m slowly entering into, isn’t as projected negative as I think people make it . I’ve dated rich/wealthy and it was fine for the most part—-the issues were more of their personalities.
Now as I slowly reverse and consider what will be important to me after more and more wealth acquisition I think about looks, ambition, child raising skills, capacity to steward my businesses after my death (like Loida Lewis did/has). If a person considers, male or female, that their looks and sexual skill are enough, they’re wrong. A business person like myself can’t help but have their perception advanced about evaluating people, places and things.
One, I have no interest in a formal, legal marriage. I watched a documentary on divorce awhile back. I’d rather draw up a contract with payouts for years together getting higher, a trust set up, land transfers than get legally married. It’s insane.
Two, I’m considering how a mate will fuse into my plans for children. I make room for a mate to be younger than me, over 30, but I need to have maturity in that person because they will potentially have to manage millions for themselves and the children. They will also have to be mature enough to live beyond me and not be taken advantage of to lose, squander what I’ve passed on to them, created for them and the children.
Three, my mother’s advice for years, upon coming into money, and looking at exponential increase, for my own eventual mating, was “Fuck up, never fuck down.” To that end I look at education, breeding, intelligence, smarts, financial IQ, ambition, goals, intentions. I really have no need for someone cute who “hates math.” The money/revenue streams are all math. I have binders upon binders tracking stream after stream. We both will have to be good at math.
Four, They will require some foresight about themselves and the world. If they’re impulse driven then they will leap at me because I’m a good deal. I’ve had the girls and guys who tell me I’m a wonderful catch on the first date. No, I’m not. I’m making a good impression. You don’t know me. I need someone with a level of sangfroid. Even if I possess the majority of the material resources, I still need to be with someone who has some self worth, who there is effort to engage. I can and have purchased time with escorts. I have the resources to do so pretty much every day of my life now. That’s not what I’m looking for. I can literally hire someone with a special twist in their hip and lip. I, yes, notice people as attractive and have differing pecker based reactions. However, my pecker doesn’t make any decisions in my life. Ever. It signals but doesn’t decide. “Your mama didn’t tell you what mine told me—-Boy, you need P control.” :)
Five, in regards to my expanding circle of partners, team members, business associates, I need someone who has the breeding to interact well. It doesn’t have to be your world initially but you need to bone up because I like to go to nice places, talk to some interesting and well heeled/cultured folk about things beyond TV and the latest superhero movie/video game.
Six, base conventions of identity, masculinity, sexuality, poverty, money, have to go out the window. If you’re in the closet, please stay there, I won’t be joining you. Black manhood is so precious and expensive that I will not sacrifice, curtail, oppress myself or raise children as a witness to such so I won’t be playing macho-patriarchy games either.
- If you think your sexuality is anything but normal, a divine infusion from some sort of God then we’re not a match. I think mine is, I don’t answer questions about do I think God…?, but what about the Bible..?, do you parents…?—-all of that can go fuck itself…slowly. I told my parents this to their face, I was willing to walk away and only return for funerals. They saw it was better to accept something that ultimately was none of their business or responsibility and instead focus on my character.
- I am not an “optional” rights human being where any other human gets to deign whether I am full, right, good enough, worthy. I’m very Jewish-Holocaust, line in the sand permanently, about my humanity, my sovereignty, about that—-Never again. I don’t mitigate, play, obviate. Just like your mother and father didn’t hide their heterosexuality from society, I don’t hide or shirk. If you can’t handle that, stay poor and get away from me. I’m not your identity therapist. I am sovereign unto myself. I can teach you to be that, but that’s what I’m looking for a partner to be or become…because that’s what I must teach my children so they won’t fall into the trap of poverty in it’s myriadical dimensions: mental, social, emotional, financial, intellectual, spiritual.
- Which brings me to poverty. I’m financially thoughtful, I wouldn’t say frugal in the sense of cheap, I’d go even further than that and say that I routinely gravitate towards expensive stuff. My decision though is to not spend money on unnecessary things (doodads) before I make money, my revenue streams, make more money, purchase securities in businesses, partnerships into businesses, property, etc.. Mercedes are nice but I can wait. If and when I decide to get one, I’ll have it's cost flat out in cash plus that same cash in the bank—-that’s how I view money. Or I’ll have some revenue stream pay for the car itself. That pause may look like cheap but I’m just trying to align one valuation to compensate to another. If you were raised poor and believe it is a reality. It’s over between us. We might be conscious of money but I’m not going to forsake quality or convenience for fear. To be clear, people think free and cheap is good. It’s not, it’s simply a hand out and less expensive than. That doesn’t guarantee control or quality. I pay for quality. Like Plataforma, my love affair Brazilian restaurant, here in Manhattan. It’s at least $100-$150 per person. If that frightens you, we’re not a match. I wouldn’t be there or invite someone if I couldn’t handle it. I hate poverty mentality, it is antithetical to wealth because it misconstrues lack with critical thoughtfulness and strategic financial planning.
- Who the fuck wants to work hard to not be poor and then shack up with a poor mentality person? I don’t cut coupons, I generally refuse free, I’m not thrilled with scraps (I wasn’t even allowed to eat certain kinds of foods as a child with my poorer cousins so that I would maintain a standard.) There is no honor in poverty. The only honor is perhaps working out of it and not hurting others in it. But God don’t like you more because you’re huddled around a can with a fire in it and a crust of bread.
- Here’s how I think about money from two examples in the past two weeks. One, I was thinking that I could focus all of my paid salary into savings, I’m at 35% now, how could I get up to over 60%+? Pension, Roth IRA, regular savings. Could I turn my salary into just a time to savingsvehicle? My thought was then okay, then I have to bolster another of the 6 streams of revenue to cover my personal financial nut a month. Which one? How? Raise prices on products I currently sell? Create new items? Would the new line of media products coming out next year do this naturally?
- Two, then I’ve been thinking about where to live—apartment, house, apartment, house-—I keep going back and forth, living in both back and forth. A house, I like for the fact that I’d like to garden. But I’d like the space, the high ceilings of a loft and to be in the city. Both city and country? Ok, I know where I like in the countryside. Then I started looking for lofts here in NYC. I saw some to rent, to even buy but then I gravitated towards the buildings themselves. I found one I like at $6.5 million. My thought isn’t it’s expensive, my thought is really: how much money do they absolutely need for me to take ownership and renovate/rent out spaces? Another stream of revenue!
Seven, I am willing to help those who help themselves. This includes a mate’s family members. I’d love to provide tuition and home buying help and a host of other things but just because someone is playing my pickle doesn’t mean I support your whole family. They have to do something to earn my assistance.
Eight, I want to see things, enjoy things. I am not a homebody. Now I love a good home space but I have no desire to sit staring at you and the wall and a TV, no matter how gilded.
Nine, I’m not monogamy strict. This might mean polyamory, an open relationship, inviting folk in but I’m not “Youse mine, Porgy!” And I have no intention of being with that kind of mentality either because the convention of monogamy is narrow in my ideology, limited.
Ten, a potential mate, for the offset of my money has to want something. If you’re a janitor, you better want to own a janitorial company (I’ll help you do that)—-and here I come along. But your goal in life can’t be to simply sit around being rich. There’s many things we can find to do in the world, people we can help, things to develop.
One attracts a rich man, whether you’re a man or a woman by not being a poor (minded/fixed mentality) person. We’ve generally worked so hard that we don’t want to be surrounded by poor people. Which is why we move to better neighborhoods, eat in nice restaurants, make new friends, go to better schools.
Rich men don’t want to be with poor people, in theory, practice nor bed.
