An odd question deserves my odd answer. I’ve lived here all my life, I have lived in every borough, even Long Island, New Jersey and Yonkers. I use Uber in other states but so far never in NY. I have occasionally hailed a cab, when I moved to Harlem and worked in Harlem, $7 cabs back and forth, part of my normal budget.
But buses? Them sonsofbitches?
I Don’t know what it is, it might be me, some inner ear bs, but I have trouble, standing, sitting and not pitching over, on buses. I feel like I’m going to stumble, fall, tumble over. The swaying, the lurching, the drama. Plus people too close—-I’m not a germaphobe but I appreciate a little space—-people way too close on buses. All the shuffling and moving and stopping and starting.
I use buses the way people use cabs or minivans——to take a long ride when you have nothing better to do, to cart items from stores when I have no desire to hire a car or take it on the subway—-I got this 5x7 beautiful wooden picture frame. Subway? Nah. I just walked half a block and got off across the street from my house.
When I go to the post office—-it’s easier to take my packages in tote bags on the bus then on the subway, it’s generally a no rush day (Have I mentioned how one aims post office days for days off from work? It’s not that the post office is slow, it’s that the post office is also an underground above ground money transfer system for the immigrant population who NEVER, having been in the country for 30+ years——remember how to do the thing they’ve done for 30+ plus years, every week. Every visit it seems is an experience, a new experience, for our immigrant population. MetroCard machines, supermarkets, ATM machines—-God save us from the multi-lingual machines that start to clearly explain the basic functions and need to be deeply read and gently massaged and two questions asked by people in front of me!!!!!!———-yes, that was a rant.)
I’ve noticed on the bus—-when I’m hauling giant wooden frames or bookcases from Target or large food/clothing purchases or even books—-that the bus is populated, and really the conveyance of the older, elderly crowd. Which slows it down.
Did I mention that I NEVER see anyone wheel chairing about but suddenly if I’m on the bus—-every other stop has to stop for a wheelchair and it’s no longer just one but two, three folk in also large scooter/mini-cars-dirt bikes?
The fun irony to this is that upon bringing her back to NYC, I had to use the bus to push my mother, in a wheelchair, to her doctor’s appointments. And I was like, okay, I get it. This is for this population. My mother not having been in NY in years——and no longer having an “inside” voice—-kept talking to me—-saying my name over and over and over and over again for the 20 block ride.
My mother said my name so much that when we got off the driver AND the passengers—yelled—-”Bye, Kyle!” laughing.
I value buses, I do.
I also tend to not need a weekly MetroCard every week because I don’t go places sometimes 5 days consecutively. I would like to defend myself with I live in Manhattan and rarely leave the borough—-walking to places, most times, so it’s only when I know I have more than a handful of trips that I buy an Unlimited card or have extra cash on my card to even consider taking the bus. They cost $33 for the week and I often eke it out to $22 a week so I’m good for using the free transfer after being on the subway——generally to come back from the post office.
I’m a walker, within say 20–30 blocks. I’m good for taking the bus sometimes to come back from a walk, then it feels quicker and the subway system while faster, is more of general to where you’re going, whereas at least half the buses are able to be more specific. I even use the Text A Time Arrival feature on the bus stops—-I notice not many people seem to.
But some buses, I have gotten off and walked. Across Harlem? Children, adults, old people, wheelchairs PACKED going crosstown. DURING a pandemic. I saw how fast it could spread with a hundred people packed onto a bus. I’m not paranoid but I am more thoughtful after COVID, so between that and my wobbly wobbly—-it feels like I’m on roller skates on the bus—-I minimize my interaction with it.
#KylePhoenix
#TheKylePhoenixShow
