You have to learn and understand the hidden rules of Social Class, which are similar to those dictated through race but porous enough to allow the mobility that the other posters are talk about.
It's specifically called code switching, which is the race-social class term for being one way originally and another for a corporate setting. Its a difficult task to accomplish initially for people of color because below Middle Class most ethnicities have a limited, TV based interaction with White people and corporate America. Which of course is false.
Clothing is the standard:
- slacks,
- shirt,
- tie,
- suit in black, blue, grey until you can afford/learn how to be stylish without being a stand out.
Individuality is not in clothing, appearance, hairstyles, it's in ability/mentality.
When I teach young males this, we've had ongoing discussions for weeks first then I take them to K&G and I buy them a two suit set up with shirts, ties, dress shoes. I'll take them out to a 4 star restaurant after a lesson on table placement/manners, as in a corporate identity you will have to dine out professionally---you must be comfortable with knowing place settings, multiple courses, the amount of staff and their attendants and responsibilities, and my students are to arrive in their suits. Then I take them along on the administrative, business or teaching consulting meetings I might have, to a community board meeting. Somewhere full of professional adults. I'm famous for providing them with basic business cards and off to a formal networking event we go.
The point is to be comfortable in your professional garb and interactive, particularly here in NYC with a wide variety of women, ethnicities, White people.
Your manners should be on point.
- Please,
- thank you,
- excuse me
- Knowing the difference between May I and Can I..?
You don't have to be servile but you should be able to tone down. your politeness not be known as someone who has to increase it.
Know some banal, non-offensive jokes and story. Don't try to "be friends" immediately.
Have an ability and ask questions.
I had a student at Columbia who I got an internship there, he arrived shirt and tie, looking good and discovered that though he was ready to do things with his MS Office skills he'd learned in my classes, an office can be a lot of look busy but be ready to do the work when it arrives, yet that includes the tedium of waiting. Yes, that means no phone, no texting, no videos.
I fire interns if I see your phone too much and you never see mine so if I see yours a few times a day and its not work related, you're done. If you suggest it is an emergency, someone is ill and you are not a doctor that's called there are those far more capable than you to manage that, they should be under their care, not yours. Take the day, the week off, solve the problem, don't bring your problems to work. I personally detest that and in my corporate life would regularly eliminate those people. Not Fair? Where do you work? The company is not called Fair, the closest you can get is the Justice Department and they really don't want to hear your bs.
Tedium, waiting for work is normal, an inability to be patient, pay attention, quietly and productively occupy ones attention , is a sign of Poverty based emotionality and lack of self control.
The years after undergrad when I temped I would carry a Vanity Fair magazine, a finance one like Black Enterprise or Forbes, my bible on MS Office, a flash drive and a journal. I could look productive or at least occupied. I once sat at Williams Communication at my cubicle for a thousand dollars a week for two months until they constructed what I could do. But one of the things I became known for at that job and others was my software knowledge. I could troubleshoot minor issues, which in turn gave me something to do and value in their eyes. That lead to being the lead on a forensic accounting embezzling case because I was the only one in NYC who knew their internal software, inside out, from having sat there and looked through it for two months.
I learned that race matters, yes, all the prejudices are present but that the corporate systems need a few, not a gaggle, but a few of us there to feel diverse. That's the hole in the dam.
I approximate you get one argument every six months, you'll see White guys get three. You will also become the arbiter on all things racial because they are experiencing this as a chance to "ask". Trust me between race, sexuality, age, intelligence and not growing up Poor, I have been asked more questions by White people than ever in my life in offices other than standing in front of a room as a teacher.
Most White people are well meaning and racism's effect upon them is that its made them obtuse, oblivious, unaware of being offensive because they are just being White, acting with privilege and entitlement. Some of that self perception is useful for people of color to learn, adopt. I have always, in the corporate setting acted as if... I am not Black .....and never been admonished. Walk into an office, even of a superior, and stand in front of them, pass a discreet note to a person if you're the admin about phone calls, appointments, or text. Nothing shows professionalism like being helpful, on point but unintrusive.
Learn to write well or have a style guide templates. I often found because I had templates ready I could drop in work to a format, have it checked and would be told I could be less formal. But here's the point, none told me to be more professional.
Never drink or fuck coworkers, period.
Ginger ale, red straw, fruit slice. Your marital status is always " involved", no details on gender, sex, sexuality, problems, kids. keep it tight and private.
Take at least a year before bringing in your personal business to an office .
Make friends with every secretary admin office manager by doing whatever it is, their way. They are gatekeepers and the bosses eyes and ears, they have been tasked with watching you and everyone else. I once went back my boss, a school Superintendent , she would routinely walk by interview candidates and say such and such could go, which meant pre interview them but by looks alone, she would not be hiring them as they didn't present as professional enough . One time she said no of a lady but I went and told her to give the lady a chance, she had good energy and a great resume. I would talk to her about her big hair, miniskirt and heels. She saw her, liked her, hired her at $100k a year, she's now one of the best principals in NYC often cited in newspapers and awarded.
I've been to Seders, Asian events, Hindu, etc. You have to get comfortable being the only Black sometimes in the room. One of the things I do is openly acknowledge that. White people are waiting for us to signal and direct them and gently but firmly correct them when they make an error.
I think of them as big four years old s with guns, credit cards and nuclear weapons socially, most of our or the preceding generation just don't understand because we have integrated on tv, not in person.
I got my first suit and tie job at A&S in high school. I had gotten a messenger job across the avenue but wandered in after the interview to the Manhattan mall, knowing I could do better. I got a sales associate job, yes a thousand a week, because I was in a suit and tie and had a resume. My resume had Charles, a restaurant I did deliveries for, Pathmark, cashier and Wendy's, all around guy. It included typing, letter writing, customer service and photocopier experience. My mother had taught me how maintain a resume. He, John Johnson said I had taken the time to be professional over older candidates. He took an hour and convinced me to take the job, I was leery because I didn't understand the commission structure.
Working in the Boys and Mens Department taught me how to have an on point wardrobe and presentation skills at 18. 1 tip is to go on interviews as late in the week as possible and after lunch. Preferably Thursday or Fridays. Always have an extra shirt, tie in your desk, put up racially mixed pictures, use scenery not teams or celebrities as screensavers.
Go on as many interviews as possible to master that situation but when aiming for a position I only interview seriously with 2-3. Others are just practice. I have gotten about 97% of the jobs or been offered. I've even been suggested for other careers, which is how I detoured from securities litigation to non profit management to teaching.
Be on point. Be authentic. Be political and compassionate. Be smart and thoughtful. Be the perfect spy.
The Spook Who Sat By The Door is an excellent allegorical film to understand the above better.
· Email: KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com
