Showing posts with label clients. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clients. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

What are the first things a therapist analyzes or notices about new clients? Kyle Phoenix Answers


Kyle Phoenix
Kyle Phoenix, Writer and student & Instructor at Columbia University


In evaluating schools, teachers, students I’m often called upon to make an educational psychological assessment over a period of time. What normally happens is people get locked into rooms or trainings with me and one of the things I share with them is that I’m putting together this overall report.

In children I’m looking at ability to not comply to directives, to not amend themselves to adults.

One school was imploding and I was called in because it was starting to make the news. So I first have 15 elementary students in a room and then 15 middle schoolers. I’m doing something not like classwork—-I actually have a few loose exercises, a few videos, some short discussions about what they want/like/don’t like. When teachers and administrators observe , it looks “out of control” to a classroom but I’m not trying to organize a class lesson.

In the Elementary group I talked to them a little. What’s your name? What do you like about school?
Then I play a circle game where they have to Zip/Zap with hand claps at each other in a rapid fire way—-I’m looking for abhorrent socialization issues, for cooperation, for out of control aggressiveness, or inability to concentrate. Most do fine.
There was one boy who stood out because he intentionally would try to get the other children to harm him, to physically hurt him, to punish him. He was slightly disheveled, hair unkempt, from poverty yes, but very apparently so even though the majority were. I pointed him out in my report and had discussions about his home life and school work. He presented as “problematic” to me. Not as bad but as a child probably experiencing consistent abuse where he had learned that abuse=attention.
My assessment, about 20 pages typed was to whether to shutdown the school, who to replace, etc.. My suggestion was that as representative of the school, teachers bring me a random sampling of good, bad and mediocre students. Ultimately about 10% of their population would have extreme issues. By extreme I mean something that could lead to injury, etc.. I generally don’t have the luxury of surveying the whole student body so I have to do samplings and walk around the school a lot just watching.
Of the Middle Schoolers they did Zip/Zap, we watched a video, we talked a little and they proceeded to energetically have fun in the library. Some self segregating and reading books. They were all admonished not to damage books—-the librarian looked apoplectic. One of my prescriptions for the school as whole, particularly with the boys was that they weren’t letting them get all their boy energy out. Have two or three breaks in the day, take them downstairs to the gym, that wasn’t being used as a gym and just let them run around, play with balls, get that energy out. Then to acknowledge as a school that boys of color, acting energetically as boys, is not a danger, it’s normal—-the librarians restrictive concern was too much.
Children are children, not little stentorians who enter rooms quietly with hands folded and politely sit and genteelly turn pages and put things back in order. That’s tight assed adults, my work with teachers and administrators often blowing their minds because they imagine this industrial line of students, when in fact, a better goal is overall control, not absolute micro-management.
The one Middle Schooler issue was they were rough housing—-and I want to see this—-which is why I chose the library with bean bags and cushions and carpeting. I want to see if it’s normal boy-puppy aggression or true intended violence. One of the larger boys was playing with his key chain with a smaller one and I took the larger one aside. he was worried, terrified at what was going to happen. I explained that he could rough house but he couldn’t use his key chain to hold or grab because he was bigger and stronger. But that he could rough house. He got the distinction between play and potential harm. That showed me that they were children.
In adults, I’m using a lot of Paul Ekman’s work in Facial Recognition and Bahavioral Interpretation. I’m pressing them to first focus at me as a psychological guide/target and then I slowly invert the group back to each other. I want to see how they interact to each other, their “group face” then their interpersonal face.
I’ve written before about one training with a teacher where through the whole day she was deliberately obstinate towards me, the whole process. She had a doctorate, which was unusual for a Middle School teacher of English, she was White, female, going into an predominantly Latino and Black school. She was incongruous to herself psychologically—-until she could explain to me/us why she was there. But her explanation, through her obstinacy, was veiled.
By veiled, I mean there are psychological techniques, defenses, habits that people can pick up or be trained in to deflect, to nullify perception, to void themselves to perception.
I had two training teachers with me who were watching this process to come back to Columbia into my classes. Lots of people follow me. LOL Because what I’m doing is more automaticity from experience than being able to sit down with a training group and say A to B to C. No, come see why A did something, hear it from them and I’ll show you the path from there. It’s both Art and Science.
So Dr. English gives a scathing review of the training in anonymous CIQs —Critical Incident Questionnaires— I provide at the conclusion of all of my trainings, teachings, classes no matter age or subject. 5 Questions that ask your experience. Designed by Stephen Brookfield at Columbia. She is only 1 of 2 negative CIQs I’ve received in about 2000 of them.
It’s a self teaching tool to inform the teacher what occurred in the silence that teachers often aren’t able to know what was happening during the class. It’s also a way for the class to be democratized and the teacher to come back and say I heard you about my going to fast in Example G or this is what I should've clarified. It’s an excellent tool that has changed my overall practice.
I immediately know it’s Dr. English and I tell the Principal, this woman as a new hire, will be a problem. I’m the target but the System, authority, control is her true enemy from not a radical, progressive or extreme liberal stance but a personal one. She was deliberately blocking me seeing her and was so upset because the last third of the training I turn the teachers to each other. They’ve trusted me the guide, to reveal their faces and now I want them to transfer that bonding to each other as a new staff. But on a higher level, I’m circling around the outer circle of 20 of them, seeing into them because their defenses are focused on each other. Dr, English was wholly unnerved by this and even physically kept her chair turned away from her peers, trying to see me whenever I moved out of her eye line.
The Principal is like, Oh, Kyle I tried to follow your psych specs to hiring, what have I gotten myself into?
I’m like—-”Ms. Cutesy Teacher who’s dress and flirtation were too much, was an error. If you can, get rid of her. (Ironically, she was a last minute Science teacher requirement fill in and quit a week later.) and Dr. English will be your biggest thorn.” But I hadn’t taught the Principal how to recognize other issues. My main push had been to get her to make a staff more male heavy.
There are 4 Psychological Perceptive Veils that Bely Beginner to Intermediate “Seeing” or Evaluating:
  1. Sexually abused individuals; people who have been traumatically abused because they have learned to hide their true selves, their emotions, from unpredictable abusers.
  2. Law enforcement (general) and Intelligence Operatives/Analysts—who learn to be deceitful as part of their professional practice in an attempt to illicit information without leaking their true intents and opinions.
  3. Criminals who are trying to mislead constantly and control the psychological exchange narrative.
  4. People who practice Non-Western religions. Their ontology, epistemology and axiology to “reality” is wholly different than what a Westernized psychological perspective would understand. They literally see reality differently so lies, truth, etc are much more subjective. They do still of course maintain facial and body language cues but you have to rely on those much more to understand them.
Months later as I follow up, the Principal explains that Dr, English is yes, combative and systemic undermining, destructive, and has shared with another teacher that she was severely sexually abused.
My two training teachers were suitably invigorated to understand that what can feel like teaching failure is sometimes other people’s stuff but that I bring them to these places to show them that.
We went to another school that had a problem with gangs and my own bosses were nervous about letting me loose with gangbangers. I had a great time as did the teenagers! I wanted to do more sessions and even tackle a series of buildings in Manhattan that have enmity which includes family members. I had some long range thoughts about how to reconcile that over time.
My seeing and listening is often my standing in a room, moving around students and teachers, I never stay at the “plane” of the classroom, the Power 25% behind or near the desk. I’m saying excuse me sometimes as I teach and squeeze among the chairs and desks. I want to be a moving target, I want to look at you and keep students focused on the fact that this is a dynamic setting.
My evaluation is also a part of my personal synesthesia where I see words across my mind’s eye as like a ticker tape and they high light in colors of emotionality and history. So in Dr. English’s words, even about mundane educational stuff, some of her words flared and I could see the flares trail back into abuse.
It works sometimes online, in text, words are not just sounds or symbols they are also some more of psychic conveyance, a subtle undercurrent of telepathy that I think we’re brokering along with the internet, our first foray into realized telepathy. <<
So in an overally simplistic sense to the above art——I would see “yellow” as abuse, on words said aloud. So every time she was talking about something—-there were trails of yellow. The more I trained and turned the group, and I know she could consciously and unconsciously, because I’m upfront about what I’m doing, “see me seeing her”, ironically, the more yellow she gave off.
Yes, there have been times when I’ve freaked people out with perceptiveness. Which is why I’m generally more muted and quietly observing, as I should’ve been with the Principal in the interviews but my schedule precluded my being in them, like I normally am.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Black and Latino LGBT Organizations: Members, Leaders, Drama and Poverty, Part 1 by Kyle Phoenix





            In the course of my work, I get asked to do a lot of things: appearances, interviews, workshops and recently for the third time I was asked by a small organization to do something that I focus more in my business educational work, strategic assessment and planning for an organization.  In particular this was a Black and Latino LGBT organization.  My experience is over ten years working, volunteering, teaching and administrating at such agencies but my wider business focus includes another life spent with an MBA, being a financial analyst, a business consultant and a securities litigation paralegal.  Bringing all of that skill and knowledge to bear I’ll finally break my silence and discuss the demise of the Black and Latino LGBT agencies and more importantly what can be done in an organization to avert that.

            First off, for definitions sake, I’ll admit that I’ve worked or  I’ve dealt with a range of organizations  that would fall within the following categories:
·        Grassroots: less than $250,000 as an annual budget.
·        Micro: less than $2 million as an annual budget.
·        Small: less than $5 million as an annual budget.
·        Medium: less than $50 million as an annual budget
·        Large: less than $125 million as an annual budget.

            As an opening caveat I will say that in the interest of professionalism, I can’t divulge complete information but I will use pseudonyms and combine multiple sized and similar agencies where necessary to protect the innocent, not give spotlight to the woefully guilty and not harass the dumb.  As an opening salvo I will say that one of the most accurate statements I’ve ever heard about Black and Latino LGBT organizations is that they are “…often run by hairdressers who become Executive Directors”.  This comment was made by an Executive Director, his hubris and managerial incompetence somewhere between legendary and shameful.   Though I do honestly believe that at one point he did care---then them checks started rolling in with his name on it and that credit card arrived that allowed him to charge flights to and fro and rub shoulders with a few celebrated people and have autographed pictures on his desk. You’d be surprised how many Executive Directors name drop their own acquaintanceships.  I think it comes from the nature of being the leader of a non-profit, you’re always trumpeting your agency to others---there is often a point though where the cause, the organization and the individual become unhealthily interchangeable.

            This comment was made by a leader of one that ironically suffers from massive internal problems.  But it’s stuck with me as an accurate assessment and so in spite of its internalized homophobia; I like this statement though because it will accurately answer a lot of the systemic issues and the possible course for re-invigoration.
 
            The first problem all categories of the agencies suffer from is twofold: the CDC and society.
            In the past decade, the CDC has consistently lowered the monies it disperses out for funding for HIV related programming from an initial large increment of $5 billion annually to be distributed in grants to organizations, to now less than $3 billion.  While the resource has decreased in size the need has increased because of societal forces.  The particular societal forces that I would offer to Black/Latino LGBT organizations that their clients/membership deal with are poverty, homelessness, unemployment, lack of appropriate education, lack of mental health treatment, lack of social support for sexuality, lack of relationship skills and lack of financial management skills.  Statistically, using the demographic of African American and Latino males, regardless of sexuality in the United States, the current numbers are that 40% of AA and 55% of Latinos are in permanent, generational poverty.  What is meant by this is that they earn less than $20,000 a year; have a  high school education or less; and therefore have greater health risks (HIV, AIDS, heart disease, diabetes, syphilis, Hepatitis C) than the other 60% to 45%.
 
            I can testify that this is pretty accurate, if not higher in the overall estimation of the effected populace numbers.  Many men of color come from poverty and carry with them habituated behaviors that reflect and reverberate those of their kith in poverty.  Unfortunately in the 21st century, a non-heterosexual identity for men of color seems to be make or break for them, I’ve observed.  The compounded pressures, ostracism and stigmatization of racism and homophobia from their own internal communities and the larger external (other and White) communities, takes out at least half of the MSM population, knocking them into a varying forms of social, emotion, educational, economic and health poverty.  For the purposes here I’m using a broader definition of poverty than simply financial---I’m using it as a lack of mental, emotional, social, mentoring, support systems, educational systems plus perhaps financial, health, etc..  When I say a client is in poverty---I’m directly saying that they have severe lacks in several of those areas and need intervention or are beyond intervention.  I would easily argue though that since Emancipation this has been the state of men of color and that immigration doesn’t shield other Latinos brothers from these ramifications either, it simply gestates for them in their own way.
 
            Therefore to the CDC the challenges just inherent in the funding stream and the client base are pretty big for any organization dedicated to helping LGBT men of color.   Ironically, because until one graduates to a Medium or Large Organization, the organizations are often run by those from the pool of potential clients who suffer from the poverty ills of their racial, cultural and ethnic group, they are consigning themselves to a form of intentional suicide.  And this is important; many impoverished clients become staff in these organizations---which is tremendously good and tremendously bad.  It’s good because who else could understand and sympathize with the client base better than a compatriot?  It’s bad because following our percentage paradigm, if 40% to 75% of the populations of men to pick from are infused in some forms of poverty, then immediately an organization is infected with the very ills it seeks to redress.  The CDC’s monies put into the organizations hands to cure ills unfortunately has a chance of falling into the hands of the most ill to administrate.
 
            It might seem judgmental to see organizations that are ostensibly committed to helping men of color through such a critical light but over the years I’ve discovered that HIV has eroded the basis for an organization being a real help to a community.  Since most of the funding comes from the CDC or private grantors to do HIV testing and HIV programming very little outside of that paradigm occurs.  All of the monies are geared towards HIV testing, HIV programming, HIV interventions, HIV care and HIV preventative programming.  However the communities whose numbers are increasing in HIV infection are still historically plagues with issue around racism, financial disparity, employment shortages, educational lacks, social skill impediments, relational skill impediments.  It’s as if  the CDC is constantly and consistently buying blankets and chicken soup for all of the flu infected residents of a house where the windows are never closed, rain and snow come through the holes in the rooftops and the administrators of the home, rush to the front door---tell the CDC that everything is fine, snatch the check and slam the door.  All that is required are audits financially and programmatically to the CDC of how their money was spent and what the outcomes of testing and programming were.  The CDC’s defense is of course that numbers have dropped, can’t drop any further, won’t drop any further and they too are under the pressure of a government that is constantly undermining their funding (and they have other health issues to manage.)  A perfect storm of moral midgetry is set up.

            While one can argue that this level of management is necessary it also has two negative effects upon the community.  It passively creates an environment where unless you’re HIV+, you don’t receive premium services because the bulk and quality of funding is not to HIV- men.  If all of the available programming then focuses on HIV prevention, all of the food, all of the cash, all of the transportation cards go to servicing the HIV+ programming first, you lose the physically one, and perhaps in other ways, healthy men of color as a base.  If one kind of group is a larger percentage than another, whatever norms, even if their norms are abnormal, become the norm of the group.  HIV- men having no use for constant repetitious programming about HIV infection leave, and return less and less because the group no longer speaks to them.  If however they need support systems in their struggle with poverty, their only option is to return HIV+.  Several of my clients over the years have gone out and become HIV+ on purpose because of the benefits to being so.  

Logically I know that if I can point to handful or a dozen men over the years, that group can be multiplied hundreds of times over.  Is then the explosion of HIV infections among men of color more to do with their need for services than a misunderstanding or irresponsibility around HIV infection prevention?  Is the failure of LGBT organizations of color not only their self-management but their attention to what byproduct they’re creating in their zealous pursuit of HIV funding?   
            Then wouldn’t the first point become an organization recognizing the needs of men of color as a community, alongside their sexuality?  To my experience, it’s understood and ignored for the goal of the organization: CDC funding.  (And the reasoning behind the CDC funding hunger is because it was historically easy to obtain.  No longer.  But we’ll get to that irony later.)  The CDC money becomes tantamount to manna from Heaven with little regard from the outcome of the addiction to manna and the problems singular source funding incurs.

Part II
            First I’ll share my experiences as a client, an employee and the leadership demands both demanded.
            I discovered several agencies pretty much within the same year.  I’d returned to New York City after working in another state directly after college.  I’d thrown myself into my career and for several years, went out occasionally to private parties, nightclubs and professional gatherings but had never engaged an LGBT organization of color specifically.  (I’d maintained a light membership in a couple prior to school and in school but found that I was always the racial demographic and therefore found it uncomfortable.)  A close friend moved out of town and I realized that I wanted to maintain having a close male friend of color so I started looking for an LGBT group of color to join.  I found a handful and adjusting my schedule, I soon began attend meetings of several.  Immediately in one group I was approached by an older man (I was in my twenties) and he started to explain the group and its purpose to me.  Since it was a cool summer night we left the meeting place, took a leisurely stroll---and it soon became apparent that one, he was hitting on me…excessively and two, he had allowed me to believe he was in a leadership position in the organization but wasn't.  I rebuffed him but returned for more meetings.




            I share the above because later as an employee for an LGBT organization that was the main complaint of my youth (under 25) male charges as to why they avoided that organization: the older men immediately pounced on fresh meat so they as a mass had passed the word informally to avoid the organization except in crisis level need.  I found that this was the thought around two other organizations as well---that men were unfettered socially so that even if one went there hoping to meet a nice guy to perchance date, you were pounced on so fast that you didn’t even get a chance to breathe or ascertain who you were interested in.  Going deeper into the social aspect of the problem, myself and others were able to discuss the issue and expand it in some ways into a level of programming into workshops. My colleagues and I  realized from the persistently resistant to boundaries and decorum, that the LGBT males of color “community” had no concept of limitations and therefore acted inappropriately.  What this meant was that one the community itself wasn’t learning and growing and policing itself.  It was existing yes, throwing parties, discussing its issues but it wasn’t maturing.  However you couldn’t throw a stick twenty feet without being invited to the propagated CDC HIV programming like Many Men, Many Voices.  (I’ve attended 3 as a client and run countless ones as a facilitator.)

            Normally in a community when values and mores are challenged the community enforces or deliberates and answers what the standards are, whether that’s as a mass or as a small group of less than a hundred.  Unfortunately one of the most grievous errors of all LGBT organizations is that in a form a pity-allowance, unhealthy mentalities are allowed to flourish in an attempt to create a “safe space” for men who have been marginalized.  When one tries to placate someone like a victim by abdicating rules or guidelines for behavior, then those offended or emotionally assaulted, flee.  Flight had become my decision when I was invited to take on a more leadership role, to facilitate, to be part of the change that a few were trying to institute.  Had I not been perhaps bored, not deeply focused on anything else, lived so nearby and genuinely had made friends in the groups, I might’ve simply walked away.

            However years later I can tell you that men of color are now fleeing based on the programming being repetitive to one specific thought and if they stay the values and mores of the community are dicey at best.  I’d personally found that there had been a culminating program around HIV, taught by a great facilitator and looking around at the weekly meetings, the clientele (many HIV+ or in a state or poverty) I didn’t see a future for myself there.  I expressed this to one of the coordinators and he agreed and came up with a unique solution: what if we tried to change that?  If I was willing, he was and we would focus on seeking out materials, creating a true democratic safe space and minimizing excessive repetitive programming that was done just for CDC dollars.  We did for awhile, a year and then so inspired by the workshops we’d created and their message and self-empowerment and actualization, he quit his job to follow his passion.  I stayed on for several years there as well as floating through other organizations, trying to find a community “home”.
 

            I found in many organizations that not being HIV+ was a detriment to my own advancement professionally and socially, to my becoming one of the inner circle; that coupled with racial colorism, where I, medium toned to my eyes, too light to others and extensive education, was minimized, ostracized because I just wasn’t…impoverished enough.  When the problem becomes that you’ve volunteered to serve within an organization (or been hired) and the staff nor clientele can’t find, other than superficial, a crack in your foundation, you begin to think you’re insane.  

I lived on my own, dated (neither from the client base nor from the staff and their peripheral friends) and lastly, had an extensive education that only the folly of idealism could explain my willful choice to be involved with them, I was branded untrustworthy, perhaps even an elitist, a dilettante.  The untrustworthiness stemmed from the fact that I often disagreed with the practices of immorality and lack of integrity on staff and client’s parts.  I’ve noticed looking back on that decade, which inspired me to jot down this article and others, that there was a distinctive lack of morality in the places I was at.  Each agency I would work for or volunteer at to some degree expressed a racial self hatred through a lack of integrity around finances, programming, sexuality, etc..  Even when the purported to being racially consciousness, they weren’t---that organization crumbled under a bonfire of the vanities, in two leaders who both wanted to be center stage and in the spotlight.  And the Diana Ross and Mary Wells on stage battle commenced.

What kind of leaders are then needed to manage, direct and steward organizations that are filled with such diverse human egos, race, sexuality, fragmented identities and financial challenges?  I'll cover that in Part II!

Contact Info


Enjoy!!!
Thank you for reading.
Email: kylephoenixshow@aol.com
Website: http://kylephoenixsite.com/
Blog: 
http://kylephoenixshow.blogspot.com/2012
Thanks and enjoy!
You can Like Us on Facebook or Follow Us on Twitter!
Don't forget to watch The Kyle Phoenix Show on
Channel 56(Time Warner), 83 (RCN), 34 (Verizon)
At Thursday/Friday 12am/midnight simulcast on http://kylephoenixsite.com/.

All books by Kyle Phoenix are available through Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.
Sign up for the mailing list on my website (I’ll never share your information with a 3rd party) and you’ll receive the E newsletter and alerts about new products, books, and Special Reports.

Copyright © The Omni Group, Inc , 2014
Kyle Phoenix, 2014
Manhattan, New York