The Biological, Social and Sexuality answer?
Biological
There's the whole hormone thing about testosterone and estrogen——one, that yes, in utero, it affects the fetus, more estrogen, pushing the fetus to being not-heterosexuals'.
Further that in the sub-group of males, who will lean non-hetero, falls into Alphas and Betas. Alphas having more testosterone, visible in physiological development, mentality, emotionality, and yes, sexuality to sexual position. The same occurring for the others, Betas, to more estrogen for the same reasons.
Two factors bring this science up, through surveys and how I personally and professionally got to the sociality of sexuality.
Swain’s work is excellent but there are several more studies that follow up with how hormones affect and effect sexuality. The beauty of Swain’s work is that he did the ABMS, Alpha Beta Mating Survey, with 3000 non-hetero men. Coincidentally he was doing it the same time I started teaching workshops and noticing these differences in men, based upon sexuality and sexual position. I was fortunate to not only teach an all ages men’s group for years, but was also for years an LGBTSGL Youth Coordinator, so I got to see it manifest from 14 year old's, who would for my prescribing safe sex, tell me details and thoughts and emotions about themselves, their sexuality. It’s quite fascinating to see male sexuality from 14 to 70.
What was wonderful, for me, as a teacher, was how close I was getting in pulling together ad hoc surveys and workshops to coalescing to what he, Swain, had come to surmise and solidify.
- Alphas, are about 15 to 20% of the non-hetero population (they are also the same in the hetero populace.) That translates to being Tops.
- Betas are about 75% of the non-hetero population (they are also the same in the hetero populace.) This translates to being Bottoms/Versatiles.
From his surveying and mine through a couple of thousand men in NY, Alphas might experiment with Bottoming for sexual gratification but don't see it as their sexual pleasure space the way Bottoms-Versatiles do.
Swain’s ultimate point as a counselor with couples and such, (and I agree) was to get both, whether Alpha or Betas, to open themselves up to being Versatile for the sake of long term relationships and companionship.
As you basically run the numbers, you see the disparity. A greater upset occurs because approximately half of all Alphas stay in the closet—-opting for traditional hetero relationships because of the impact of testosterone to driving for desire for children and social acceptance/power.
So yes, 75% to 80 of non-hetero men are targeting for 10% of socially out Alphas, and settling with-for the other 10%, closeted to incomplete, DL relationships.
Numbers By Running The Numbers
Let’s do some hypothetical rough math:
- We’ll call it 175 million males in America and rough it further to 17 million non-heteros.
- Half of them children or no longer sexual seniors.
- That leaves about 8–10 million viable from puberty to late age homosexuals for sex/relationships.
- Spread out though across America but there are cities with greater concentrations—-NYC, Chicago, Miami, LA and Atlanta. (These cities have such a concentration because of a side-correlate. These cities have HASA the instant HIV Welfare-social services program with healthcare so more HIV+ non-hetero men move to these cities from their original spaces around America.
- Let’s be kind and say there are 1 million of our viable men in these 5 main cities, the rest spread out across America.
- The statistic for non-hetero LTRS at anytime, by Census and CDC info is roughly 30%. 300,000 of the NYC non-hetero men are in LTRS.
- That leaves about 700,000 men in NYC for the catching.
Ok, let’s then apply the Dating Ratio.
In workshops with men, what we went through were “How did one find a compatible man?”
What I discovered personally is that the overall ratio is about 1 in 10.
- Meaning You date 10 men,
- 5 will be Not Compatible,
- 5 will be Compatible, but 3of the remaining compatible 5, will have an issue with you/you will have an issue with them.
- That leaves 2 men——what we’re trying to do in dating is find 1 or 2 men and we be their 1 or 2 men.
In teaching dating techniques, intimacy, etc., when men pointed out they hadn’t met their “2 men” after dating 8 men the problem is learning Discernment and Adaptability. If I keep dating prison convicts—-I’m probably not going to get a high quality man because I keep making anti-choices to my goal.
Discerning and Compromise and Adaptability means that I date one violent convict and say no more convicts, no more bad tempers, no more hard drug users so that my pool of 10 becomes more to the what I “want” and what healthily would want me as I stopped robbing, mayhem, hardcore drugs myself.
That’s really the hardest part (pun!) of teaching men in my workshops.
Your Picker about beyond your Pecker is off. Which is why you make “off” choices consistently.
Socially Being a Bottom
- You can’t go where the Bottoms go because by estrogen/personality, sociality, if you go where Bottoms are always comfortable/congregate, then your chances of meeting more exclusive Bottoms increases.
- Two, further confusing the issue—-there’s the stereotype of socially presenting by more men than less, as masculine. The easiest way to present this way is going to the gym and bulking up, tattoos and facial hair. So more Bottoms and Versatiles look classically masculine to……..other Betas-Bottoms and Versatiles. The running joke is they get home after the first date and both throw themselves on their backs and scream: “Take me!”
- Betas are socially comfortable in more congregating places like-you guessed it—-bars, discos, etc.. Which is why you go there, and I tell my clients, you’re more likely to find Bottoms and Versatiles—-because a social environment is their kiki spot! Not so much for Alpha men/Tops.
- Alphas go to bars and discos, and yes, can enjoy them, but generally can’t enjoy them as much, as a socially, as a group of Betas together, with their girlfriends and sisters, some in drag. Because estrogen is more sociality. However, I do tell Alphas if you go there and present as directly Alpha, even going so far as to wear a cap that is a rooster or just says Top, you will meet several men.
- So, socially of our 700,000 potential men here in NYC over 500,000 of them will be Bottoms/Versatiles.
- Leaving maybe 140,000 to 200,000 Alphas BUT half of them will be deep in the closet or married, engaged, have girlfriends. so half of them are unavailable for healthy relationships.
Let’s call it a strong 100,000 are available.
But of the 500,000, let’s apply our Pareto Principle as happens to every demographic in the world—-Pareto was a beast when it came to economics, nature, etc.
So 80%—-are closer to exclusive Bottoms than not.
- 400,000 vs 100,000 Tops.
Now Apply the individual Dating Ratio again—-40,000 Bottoms-Betas, compatible to 10,000 Tops-Alphas.
This is why more men experience meeting more Bottoms than viable Tops.
Ok, proof this—-go to Adam4Adam and then go to Grind'r.
- Filter by Bottoms—-Adam will give you numbers, then Filter by Exclusive Tops.
- On A4A at this typing, there are 61,000 men online in a 150 mile radius to Manhattan.—-
- 75 x12=750+ Identify as Exclusive Tops,
- with the rest varying from Bottoms for over 30k to unset/blank
- and then another 15k to Bottom-Versatile.
- 40,000 willing to Bottom to say 1000 Definite Tops, closer to 1 in 40.
Sexually
Bottoming is easier in some ways and more gratifying as an over-layering to those ways.
One, there’s less physical expenditure in energy in being penetrated, (you shouldn’t just lay there, but it’s far less cardio/aerobic work to bottom), and two, the prostate is about two and a half inches through the exterior and then interior sphincter muscles, being penile penetrated rubs/massages the prostate, which leads to orgasm and also leads to ejaculation—-they are two different things.
Men who bottom can more easily have multiple orgasms because the very source of 75% of orgasms, aside from the crown-meatus-head of the penis, is being stimulated.
Now ask yourself one simple question that we can gaze back upon history to answer—-are men selfish creatures? Sexually?
Biologically, therefore Socially, which subdivides to Sexually, there are more gay bottoms for the confluence of reasons from hormones to social groupings to sexual pleasure.
#KylePhoenix
#TheKylePhoenixShow
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