I think a better approximation, that I practice at least is I pay attention to what a man looks at. Generally if you’re in public or school or work—-there are people passing by. I watch what he consciously or unconsciously checks out.
I was chatting up a dude, who may have been really interested in the professional info I was giving him or borderline flirting?——then a reasonably attractive young lady passed by and I was like—Oh. Okay.
Deeper Eyes And Meanings
I do a workshop where I teach LGBTSGL men about eye contact and such because most men don’t learn it when they are cast out or avoid the general society Man Cave as teens.
- Flirt
- Fight/Fear
- Fuck
- Fealty
- Friendship
- Focus
Those are the 6general ways all men make eye contact. But predominantly hetero men are comfortable doing it and may sometimes even do it with other men because their superpowers get out of hand. But non-hetero dudes are like a sensitivity grid so their reception of the eye contact is intensified and the meanings depended.
Because of knowing this, non-hetero men tend to do what I call veiling on a variety of levels.
Veiling includes being not out, downlow, closeted, lying, hiding, masking, limiting what their eyes are saying or doing. Non-hetero men learn to do this with men and women for safety—-emotional and physical—-reasons growing up which is why gay bars can be so intense. Men in gay bars are letting down their shields, as it were. And in many ways, being themselves. Which can be distinctly uncomfortable for some of the men in gay bars because just because men are being more vulnerable doesn’t mean that they have a broader bandwidth. Utilizing all of the expressive ways with your eyes is an emotional broad bandwidth that society has limited men at, in general, and gay men in, specifically.
It might just be the first 3 that gay men focus on: Flirt Fuck, Flight.
They haven’t practiced the others, pointedly with men.
#KylePhoenix
#TheKylePhoenixShow
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