Kyle Phoenix Answers: Can straight men be attracted to gay men?

Of course, I’ve had several straight men who loved me, who were attracted to me but weren’t gay or bi.

it’s amazing, I’ve thought and said this for years—-that people who identify as non-heterosexual can relate their histories of engagements with the opposite sex, enjoying the sexual and emotional contact but not having that as a long term sexual orientation. The most bigoted people about sexuality are not homosexual people.

Many,m many straight guys find themselves in relationships with other males because of friendship, closeness, sexual attraction and it is not their orientation. It is experimentation, a personal connection to that individual, a time in their lives when they are simply available. I had a close friend in high school and for a period of time, after two years of friendship, we graduated to a romantic relationship. And it was great. But our school counselor suggested to me that one of us was sure and that he wasn’t, be prepared. he loved me. he was attracted to me. But he wasn’t same sex oriented. I was his life freebie. Of course at 18 I didn’t want to hear that bullshit and we had a tremendous break up but a decade later I understand how we were such close friends, and it could’ve been an element, a lustful summer of our friendship and then we would’ve gravitated to others. As a regret, I regret that I had such a steel box around what his sexuality should be and what he was willing to offer me.

Now, having been an LGBT youth coordinator and run thousands of folk through workshops I often meet men who’ve had romantic and sexual relationships with close friends who are gay but they aren’t gay. Does that make them bi? Pansexual?

How about this, you and your post it note of omniscience knowledge of another human being’s heart, soul and sexuality go sit the fuck down? Don't worry about God or science or the fifth genome on the third spinning bulb of the left side of someone’s DNA or the location of the fifth neuron next to the stem of the brainy brain part. Just chill.

GIf the world can’t tell you you’re NOT gay or trans or bi or into feet, then YOU can’t tell others that simple romantic or sexual contact is what makes a sexuality.

Manage your own crotch.

It’s 2018 for Jiminy Cricket’s sake.

Smile, Kyle

KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com

The Kyle Phoenix Show 

 LIVE STREAMING on MNN.org 1130pm, Spectrum Cable Manhattan, NY 

Channel 56 & 1996, also FIOS 34 and RCN 83. 

You can Like or; Follow Us on Facebook or;Twitter

Or Click Below to:

·                     Stay In Touch with Kyle Phoenix by receiving updates, newsletters and free gifts by clicking HERE 

·                     Kyle Phoenix Website

·                     The Kyle Phoenix Blog

·                     Check out Kyle Phoenix Products on Amazon .com

·                     Don't forget to watch The Kyle Phoenix Show LIVESTREAM on Channel 56 (Time Warner), 83 (RCN), 34 (Verizon) Thursdays 1130pm

·                     Email: KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com

Kyle Phoenix Answers: Is it racist to not be attracted to your own race?

It depends….on their level of education, socialization, resources, and consciousness about caring for other people.

Not everybody within the panopticon called race is healthy and some of them are unhealthy due to racialization. Here in NYC, the HIV infection rate is projected to shake out to 50% of LGBTSGL men of color will be infected within the next 20 years. I go online or to parties or to make presentations and there’s practically bare-backing going on in the seats. Prep users and Prep liars—-amazingly enough so many minority men who can’t afford to live alone or in better neighborhoods or to pay for school can suddenly come up with $300 out of pocket for Prep so it’s cool to fuck raw. HIV rates highest among men of color under 28. There are three neighborhoods here in NY, Brooklyn—-Bed Stuy, Brownsville, and Harlem, Manhattan that has infection rates that rival sub-Saharan Africa.

So here I am, brown as the floor, HIV negative, looking at my dating pool, even being an instructor about the dating pool. And I have to critically consider what is a truth to tell and a truth to ignore. A truth to tell is that racialization, poverty, disenfranchisement and self-destructive tendencies have men of color, MSM, fucking themselves to death. Check out how much barebacking porn there is. The very act that was trained, inculcated from the 1980s through the 1990s intensively and then in the 2000s, certain sex couldn’t be done without protection, is now normalized to entertainment. That’s right up there with putting webcams in Auschwitz rooms and shoving people in then turning on the gas…and the cameras at $1.99 a minute.

So yeah, I have to be….considerate, cautious, thoughtful, careful and questioning with Black and Latino men about their sexual habits, about what they do and don’t do because somewhere in the apple pie they’ve tossed out self-concern and sure as hell aren’t thinking about concern for me, their “brother”, when they get hard. And sometimes that makes me sad or mad or tired or have to change friends because part of my life path is parenting. And children need you as healthy and long living as possible to raise them. So all the HIV-accept folk-anti-stigma rhetoric only works for me when applied to the conscious, responsible folk, infected or not, who think of other humans before they think about their own nut.

That abhorrent mentality of “fuck it” bluntly,when it comes to safe sex, means that yes, I’m racist when it comes to dealing with Black and Latino men, meaning I ascribe a question, a bias, a concern based upon race from possible predetermined or stereotypical behaviors, …and yes, the Whites, the Asians, the Native Americans, two Samoans and five Brazilians too. Everybody.

But some races due to harsher psychological treatment by the society at large and a lack of community resources, are more sexually self-destructive than others.

Smile, Kyle
KylePhoenixShow@gmail.com

The Kyle Phoenix Show 

 LIVE STREAMING on MNN.org 1130pm, Spectrum Cable Manhattan, NY 
Channel 56 & 1996, also FIOS 34 and RCN 83. 

You can Like & Follow Us on Facebook &Twitter

Or Click Below to:

·                     Stay In Touch with Kyle Phoenix by receiving updates, newsletters and free gifts by clicking HERE 

·                     Kyle Phoenix Website

·                     The Kyle Phoenix Blog

·                     Check out Kyle Phoenix Products on Amazon .com

·                     Don't forget to watch The Kyle Phoenix Show LIVESTREAM on Channel 56 (Time Warner), 83 (RCN), 34 (Verizon) Thursdays 1130pm

·                     Email: KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com

Kyle Phoenix Answers: What do gay men wonder about lesbian women?

What do gay men wonder about lesbian women?

How they find each other outside of lesbian-specific places or events or without emblems. Women are so much more intimate and close and more…. intimate than men are. I can’t imagine how gay men suss out closet cases or bi guys or wanna try guys so I really can’t imagine how women are able to discern between woman closeness and let’s share cherry pies.

Music, art, writers, interests can be so blurring that I can see how men saying they like______ fill in some gay guy singer and have all of his remixes might be a signal but say you like Kate Bush or Meshell NdegeOcello….. is that really saying something?

I love MESHELL! She is one of three artists I buy reviews unseen because I know even her bad is going to be great. But it doesn’t say anything about the owner of said CD.

Or is it like you’re just the most obvious lesbian in the room—-Ellen, Rosie O’Donnell, KD Lang—— the kinds of girls who really, really didn’t have to publicly come out so hard. We all kind of knew. Well, I did. And being the Sun Center of the Universe Lesbian there’s a gravitational pull in of the questioning, maybes, undercovers?

That I could believe.

I’ve drawn in an errant planet or two myself in my day…..

Smile, Kyle
KylePhoenixShow@gmail.com

The Kyle Phoenix Show 

 LIVE STREAMING on MNN.org 1130pm, Spectrum Cable Manhattan, NY 
Channel 56 & 1996, also FIOS 34 and RCN 83. 

You can Like & Follow Us on Facebook &Twitter

Or Click Below to:

·                     Stay In Touch with Kyle Phoenix by receiving updates, newsletters and free gifts by clicking HERE 

·                     Kyle Phoenix Website

·                     The Kyle Phoenix Blog

·                     Check out Kyle Phoenix Products on Amazon .com

·                     Don't forget to watch The Kyle Phoenix Show LIVESTREAM on Channel 56 (Time Warner), 83 (RCN), 34 (Verizon) Thursdays 1130pm

·                     Email: KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com