Showing posts with label psychosexual behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychosexual behavior. Show all posts

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Why do more gay men prefer to bottom than top? Kyle Phoenix Answers


Kyle Phoenix
Kyle Phoenix, Author of Multiple orgasm training Men, in its 3rd edition.
Yes, there is a biological reason why that was done with some really great research. For over 20 years I've been presenting and then teach expanded workshops to men around sex and sexuality and relationships. I too noticed from my youth groups to elder men a disproportionate number of Bottoms vs Tops. The more passive surveys I did the more I found it was almost correlating to the 80/20 rule. Then in 2007 I found a research project that questioned 2000 plus men who had sex with men, msm by Keith Swain a psychologist who surveyed men with a hundred question questionnaire (it's on my Kyle Phoenix website under Alpha Best test.
What he found and my surveying of an additional 200 men found that estrogen levels of production and testosterone levels of production affect all males first. The thought is that 15-20% of the whole male population are Alphas and the rest Betas. The genetic anthropologists thought is that Alphas directly protect the tribe but too many would create constant conflict and from biological jealousy of women's attention harm offspring. More Beta men, who have greater levels of estrogen are able to be more nurturing to women and children and socially and psychologically offset Alpha's in the population.
In Msm the physical characteristics are just as pronounced, shoulder slope, shoulder to hip ratio, how weight is gained, hair patterns, finger lengths, intellectual preferences, perception and yes, finally, sexual position.
The research presented the overall problem, more bottoms than tops; the confusion ---biological bottoms assume Alphas are seeking men from the physical and mental criteria that Betas do so they rush to the gym and bulk/muscle up. Alphas, Batman are seeking Robins', not other Batman's so the physical boosting and hyper masculinity drives off Alphas or confuses them and draws Betas to the Alpha looking, acting Betas who then rush home and throw themselves both onto theirs backs and scream take me.
There is a two part scoring of the test to show that the most evenly attracted couples had a balancing of about 15-20 points between, more and the other was too emotionally extreme or too close and they negated each other....where there's visual attraction but not emotional chemistry because there's not a balance of masculine/feminine energy (to absorb the fantastic Dr. Patricia Allen into this whose m/f survey I was using as my baseline to get to Swains NMBS in Dynamic Duos.
Where are the Alphas?
Half are in the closet in traditional heterosexual marriages because they want traditional defined hetero relationships and children.
The other half are present but not as flamboyant as Betas in communities so they tend to be invisible but a mark of an Alpha man is that he doesn't have an issue with feminine men because he likes the emotional availability and intimacy. Its Betas who are turned off by it and attack femininity trying to be more masculine.
Beta men are encouraged to one be more versatile because due to numbers they will have to be to mate. They are also encouraged to stop being so butch because Alphas are seeking Betas to protect and care for not compete with.
Yes to two questions---all men want to be Alphas. Just like the massive penis growth men have in their minds. Actually Beta penises tend to be longer due to estrogen whole Alphas are shorter and thicker. Once I explain that bit of biology msm don't know which side to try and hope to.
And yes there are a micro-percentage of men who present b/A---Beta emotional structure but Alpha body, appearance natural. They have the hardest time mating because they have to stop competing with the Alpha men they desire and accept, at least in the relationship the Beta role they desire.
The pairing is b/B, A/a and A/b.
Now I've done this workshop with several thousand men over the years and prescribed their dating style to follow and it always works.
Yes, I was skeptical at first but I was on track to seeing and identifying this so I could proof it faster plus I had 150 msm a week to work this out with. Trust me, it's the biological truth.

www.kylephoenix.com

Smile, Kyle
KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com
#KylePhoenix
Kyle Phoenix Answers



You can Like or; Follow Us on Facebook or;Twitter

Or Click Below to:
·                     Kyle Phoenix Website
·                     The Kyle Phoenix Blog
·                     Check out Kyle Phoenix Products on Amazon .com


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Raw Sex: Anything Goes, Part 1 by Kyle Phoenix


The challenge of dating in the 21st century or even working in/with groups tht involve particularly men who have sex with men is the shadow of STI---Sexually Transmitted Infections (HIV, HIV-2, HPV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Mano, HCV, Syphilis, Herpes, etc.) because the population one is dealing with is ground zero.  The deeper, social challenge is not simply the risk but the what can feel like sheer insanity around non-protection. Unfortunately, as statistics suggest, from Black and Latino men,  Somehow, some way along the road of sexual liberation there has come the mentality that unsafe sex---exchange of bodily fluids---is cool and the gang.


As I write this I contemplate how to be both honest and at the same time sound reasonably non-judgmental but maybe it's about time that someone said: "Hey, are you out of your fucking mind?" to risky sex.  When someone calls me brother and suggests we engage in unsafe/raw sex they are literally offering to fuck me to death.  Now that may sound extreme but how else can another human being literally strip you of your immune system?  There are cases of partners unknowingly infecting one another, drugs and blood transference but to actually willingly, willfully give or take the risk with another human being---have we become sociopaths to pleasure?  Can a man of color talk to me about Martin Luther King or Malcolm X or Obama or hegemony or racial struggle while capitulating to infect other human beings?  Better yet, is it racially motivated?

Can we look at race, men of color, sexually involved with other men of color, and say---the weight of homophobia coupled with racism drives, otherwise, seemingly sensible men to actively, consciously try and infect or get infected?  Has oppression and disdain, violence and prejudice, driven us so insane that I'm talking about the "need for love and healing in the  Black community" in one breath and infecting with the next?  Is it such  lack of value for men of color, men of color who may be homosexual or bi-sexual (or even heterosexual---don't think your straightness excuses you from unsafe sex) by other men of color that we have to lynch each other with bodily fluids?

Or, if we expand the scope, are men (and women---gender does not excuse you from exposure) of any race so self-hating, other-hating, homo-hating that infecting another is plausible?  That "breeding" parties is normal?  That wanting to be bred (HIV infected on purpose) is acceptable?  Not just acceptable to the individual seeking but more importantly to those of us who watch them.

In this work I do, education, identity, sexuality, I frequent a lot of dating sites, for all genders and sexualities, and what I see is terrifying.  Too many men of color without a regard to being infected or infecting.  I'm often eschewing two out of three out of hand just for their risky profiles.  But now a trend I've started to notice---White men, particularly over 30 seeking Black and Latino men for raw sex---pointedly as the Caucasian, HIV+, insertive partner.  So it's a minefield---Blacks and Latinos (45% under 30) infecting one another and now White men seeking out particularly minorities to infect.  Now I could lash into a rant about racism and entitlement and the capacity of someone in dominant culture feeling oblivious to moral conventions around infecting people of color but when I see/am offered infection by people of color, I must ask: whose holding the rope and who's doing the lynching?  Has racial liberation lead us to sociopathic hatred of ourselves rather than racial love?

But I don't want to wholesale judge or condemn, in fact I write this to educate so next time I'll run down the 5 factors of why men report they bareback and more importantly, I'll search myself for where I'm at in this debate, hitting myself with some of the above questions as I hope you will too.

Coming Next: Barebacking: Top 5 Reasons Men Do It To Each Other


Thank you,
Kyle Phoenix
www.kylephoenixsite.com

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Barebacking: Anything Goes, Part 1 by Kyle Phoenix

The challenge of dating in the 21st century or even working in/with groups tht involve particularly men who have sex with men is the shadow of STI---Sexually Transmitted Infections (HIV, HPV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Mano, etc.) because the population on is dealing with is ground zero.  The deeper, social challenge is not simply the risk but the what can feel like sheer insanity around non-protection. Unfortunately, as statistics suggest, from Black and Latino men,  Somehow, some way along the road of sexual liberation there has come the mentality that unsafe sex---exchange of bodily fluids---is cool and the gang.


As I write this I contemplate how to be both honest and at the same time sound reasonably non-judgmental but maybe it's about time that someone said: "Hey, are you out of your fucking mind?" to risky sex.  When someone calls me brother and suggests we engage in unsafe/raw sex they are literally offering to fuck me to death.  Now that may sound extreme but how else can another human being literally strip you of your immune system?  There are cases of partners unknowingly infecting one another, drugs and blood transference but to actually willingly, willfully give or take the risk with another human being.  Have we begun sociopaths to pleasure?  Can a man of color talk to me about Martin Luther King or Malcolm X or Obama or hegemony or racial struggle while capitulating to infect other human beings?  Is it racially motivated?

Can we look at race, men of color, sexually involved with other men of color, and say---the weight of homophobia coupled with racism drives otherwise, seemingly sensible men to actively, consciously try and infect or get infected?  Has oppression and disdain, violence and prejudice driven us so insane that I'm talking about the "need for love and healing in the  Black community" in one breath and infecting with the next?  Is it such  lack of value for men of color, men of color who may be homosexual or bi-sexual (or even heterosexual---don't think your straightness excuses you from unsafe sex) by other men of color that we have to lynch each other with bodily fluids?

Or, if we expand the scope, are men (and women---gender does not excuse you from exposure) of any race so self-hating, other-hating, homo-hating that infecting another is plausible?  That "breeding" parties is normal?  That wanting to be bred (HIV infected on purpose) is acceptable?  Not just acceptable to the individual seeking but more importantly to those of us who watch them.

In this work I do, education, identity, sexuality, I frequent a lot of dating sites, for all genders and sexualities, and what I see is terrifying.  Too many men of color without a regard to being infected or infecting.  I'm often eschewing two out of three out of hand just for their risky profiles.  But now a trend I've started to notice---White men, particularly over 30 seeking Black and Latino men for raw sex---pointedly as the insertive partner.  So it's a minefield---Blacks and Latinos (45% under 30) infecting one another and now White men seeking out particularly minorities to infect.  Now I could lash into a rant about racism and entitlement and the capacity of someone in dominant culture feeling oblivious to moral conventions around infecting people of color but when I see/am offered infection by people of color I must ask: whose holding the rope and who's doing the lynching?  Has racial liberation lead us to sociopathic hatred of ourselves rather than racial love?

But I don't want to wholesale judge or condemn, in fact I write this to educate so next time I'll run down the 5 factors of why men report they bareback and more importantly, I'll search myself for where I'm at in this debate, hitting myself with some of the above questions as I hope you will too.

Coming Next: Barebacking: Top 5 Reasons Men Do It To Each Other


Thank you,
Kyle Phoenix
www.kylephoenixsite.com