Kyle Phoenix Answers: Why would someone diverge from the terminology of gay, bi, homosexual to Same Gender Loving? Is it exclusively racial among Black and Latino people?

As we as a society move further into the future, as we develop further, all factions and sub-groups are coming to the consciousness of self-development and actualization. To that end sexuality, or more precisely it’s labeling for the individual is coming not simply under examination but a form of transformation. The terms bi, gay, heterosexual, lesbian, even homosexual, are derived from Westernized concepts of pseudo-scientific demarcation as well as historical controls that don’t serve the people of the African Diaspora fully in the 21st century. First let me same that when I speak of the “African Diaspora”

I’m including men and women whose ancestors came from Africa to Central and South (Latin) America in the African Diaspora. The division that skin color based racism has created is a delusional discordant separation between the people (progeny) of the African Diaspora. Bluntly, people who obviously ain’t Anglo Saxon “White” disavow being in any part Black or African. Such a dissonance is racism at work. To think of yourself, your origins in Africa as not a part of the Diaspora is to align with the slave based mentality. Truthfully to do so as a Latino person may’ve historically meant survival, the ability to prosper and less abuses, degradation and enslavement rules years ago (in places like Cuba, Argentina, Mexico, Puerto Rico, etc.) but just as there is the connection for Mexicans and Caribbean folk to the nearly eradicated Taino people, there is the connection to the vibrant African spiritual and physical heritage that exists on all the continents in its people.

I often have to make this racialized overview in my work with men of color, Black and Latino, here in America because racism aligned into hegemony is so pervasive that many people do not know what they are. Nor appreciate the value of knowing so. Or even worse they have assumed the racial, cultural and spiritual segregation rules of the enslaver. While this might seem far afield of the point of sexuality, it is not as you’ll see in part s to come.

But what then of “mixed” brothers and sisters who, even like myself, can trace and perhaps even have been cared for and loved by White family members. Are they being asked to eschew those people, those memories, and those ancestors in favor of only African, Native/indigenous ones?

Never.

Instead I offer to you to expand your context of not only yourself but what you can racially and culturally contain, be and love.

What I am suggesting is that by being a person integrating or wholly of color means that your ontology can be greater, broader than an overly simplistic European one. People of color, whether African, Native or Asiatic in origin are not White/European people and don’t contain simply a European/American framework for understanding themselves, the Universe around them or even sexuality. It’s always easiest to instead define what I mean by “framework” in a racialized context first:

Ontology is one’s understanding of the nature of reality.

White history is largely deterministic, reductionist, rational, and objective in its historical and continuous ways of rationalizing what is real. White people believe that the world can be the world can be understood (and controlled) through the application of science and hypothesis testing. Therefore time is linear, with the past and future workings pushing them (and others) to reify progress as superior. To assume that technology is advancement as a whole and not simply tool. Logic and facts then become synonymous with the truth. Knowledge and reality are assumed to be generalize-able and universal. If it can be tested, examined, it can be named and by naming and labeling it, it is what the speaker, the labelerdetermines it to be. Such a perception in no way allows for the context nor the individual to determine in a particular way it’s own meaning.

Epistemology is the system of knowing what is known or knowable.

White systems of knowing include individualism, competition, positivism, constant rationality, adherence to logic and objectivity; all powerful and discerning science and constant dualism (right/wrong, good/bad. Approved/disapproved). Pan African activist, author and organizer Marimba Ani boils the European epistemological mode down to this: “Rob the universe of its richness, deny the significance of the symbolic, simply phenomena until it becomes mere object, and you have a knowable quantity. Here begins and ends the European epistemological mode.”

Such an epistemological frame in no way allows for community, grouping, teams, unification, irrationality, innovation, creativity if those forms don’t adhere to the rules of a dominant culture epistemology. In many ways you see this throughout history where in the Western world there have been hundreds of years of only incremental progress in terms of thought, beingness, science, technology because there has been such a rigid adherence to “certain ways of knowing and therefore doing things.”

Methodology asks how the information is gathered for creating knowledge.

The scientific process where hypothesis testing for quantitative results by objective researchers is expected. This is considered a reliable norm for finding answers and then it is allowed to contribute to what is judged as valid knowledge. The search for immutable laws; application of cause and effect, affect to effect, to form an understanding that can then be generalized to larger populations has long been bedrock for White methodology. Though predicated on religious thoughts and teachings, it comes into conflict with itself when trying to “explain” the miracles of its own spiritual beliefs. In many ways the greatest irony of White methodology is that its own methodology both points at and then ridicules its own community beliefs.

In many areas of White culture (particularly in translation to social norms, such as social class differences between those in poverty, middle class and upper class) there is an emphasis on direct verbal and written communication, content, and task over process and relationship, timely adherence to agendas versus spontaneity, considerable discomfort with non-rational ways of knowing, such as through our bodies, the spiritual or artistic expression. To not adhere to these points or ways of being is considered bestial, lower than or irrational so that reality becomes a place dictated by rules that are agreed upon not by observation but by ruling council.

Axiology is the ethics and values of a people.

It is where people create themselves, where they see themselves in relationship to God, Nature, the Universe, the fabric of reality around them. We use this to answer life’s mysteries and s[peculate and then create ephemeral possibilities. But when supported by the above frameworks, a society’s, a person’s, internal to external perception is instead supportive not expanding of the White frameworks described before. We then experience and see a damaging form of education when we consider reality only through an Aristotelian value based system, where knowledge itself is the only intrinsically worthwhile endeavor. The way this manifests now is in the modern propensity to educate the intellect in damaging disassociation from feeling, imagination and action. Aristotle, Shakespeare, Copernicus, Descartes and Darwin were useful to loosen White people from other White people with more dogmatic religious and feudal based societal thinking. However compartmentalization has become a way in which White people see themselves and prioritize their lives and experiences and maintain their grip on reality along such a continuum. Appreciation, veneration, communication with one’s ancestors and connection to the natural world are two indigenous values that get less attention in White culture, with destructive outcomes for people and the environment.

All of the above is why people of color are not always in “step” with White people. We view reality intrinsically differently. It doesn’t mean that with concerted effort we can’t learn to understand the other’s ways of thinking but people of color have had more demands upon themselves to learn White people for basic survival than White people ever had the other way around. If we push this framework even further we can replace ‘White” with heterosexual. If one is not heterosexual, one is not considered right or good or part of nature by certain scientific and religious frameworks. The reason why such bias and discrimination can occur is because bias and discrimination are at the heart of White ontology. It’s not a huge leap to transfer that from race to sexuality.

But the actions and potential blame doesn’t fall to simply White people. We too must take responsibility and concerted action to see ourselves, to self-perceive and create ourselves in a healthier cultural alignment. We do this by understanding the stages of cultural and racial self perception. And as those of us color must do so must individuals who aren’t of color must move through stages of identity formation in order to clearly see and be able to navigate themselves and this world healthily.

Helms Model

6 Stages, J.E. Helms (1990), Black and White Racial Identity: Theory Practice

Frankenberg Model

(White Framework Movements)

Stage 1-Content Stage

People of Color are exoticized, White are oblivious to their own racism; nor see themselves as White

Phase 1

Essentialism Racism

Biological difference is basis of racism---usually what Whites really mean when they say “I’m not racist.”

Stage 2-Disintegration

Notice racism, distance themselves from Black and Latino people out of guilt/shame from White privilege.

Phase 2

Color Blindness

Common discourse, seeing race at all is prejudiced; and being able to designate/nullify color is a position/privilege of a “White self”

Stage 3-Reintegration

Whites believe there is an element of truth to racial stereotypes and avoid associating with them or treat them badly/act violently.

Phase 3

Power Erosion

See race, recognize racial difference but do not acknowledge the power of difference between Whites and People of Color---but are pointedly careful to avoid discussions of unequal power relationships; focuses on internal thought

Stage 4-Pseudo-Independent

Whites begin to understand that they aren’t superior but might still perpetuate the belief through actions.

Phase 4

Race Cognizance

(Transforming Silence Into Language and Action)-able to use the term my racism; political activism seen as way to deal with racism; focus becomes more collective

Stage 5-Immersion/Repellent

Whites start coming to terms with what it means to be White; join White consciousness groups, talk to other Whites about racism.

Stage 6-Autonomy Stage

People have a positive definition of Whiteness and understand Whites perpetuate racism, but they seek ways to eradicate racism on personal and societal levels.

As we grow, we change and expand, as all life does and must.

Ashe.

Smile, Kyle
KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com

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Kyle Phoenix Answers: Why are Black people in America 8 times more likely to get HIV than white people in America — and 8 times more likely to die from AIDS?

Having worked in agencies for years, the answers are complex and therefore most all answers are true even if sometimes contradictory.

Power dynamics affect male and female infection. Poor females and males are pressured to have unprotected sex for survival.

Women of color share more partners with other women, sometimes knowingly with females and with males ,less unknowingly, due to the inequality of male resources and education due to systematic racism. Women of color have historically been given more access to work than men but men are more prized. So men can "get away" with more in both straight and gay relationships. Work and resources inform and constructs identity, healthy identity builds internally, self confidence and from the external to the individual, self esteem. We have less self esteem so we wrestle with our external worth which leads to healthcare engagement.

People of color as a mass have less private insurance. Its not the quality here but the mentality of engaging the medical community.
I've had a private doctor for over a decade on the upper east side because I chose the better neighborhood assuming higher capita would ensure a better doctor. They regularly call me, ask me question, see me in 10 minutes of arrival, its a beautiful townhouse. It occurred to me to tell her pointedly of my work and sexuality a couple of years in because I read there were other tests etc for MSM that we might ignore or doctors didn't know to do. She took it in stride and promptly snapped on a glove and told me to bend over. I said to the mirrored wall, wow this is the first time this has been done to me on the upper east side. We laughed. She inserted her Asian finger.

I'm receiving rich/affluent medical care and a level of social acceptance that even me, someone out as a cloud has to remember to notify medical folk about. Most Black/Latino people don’t have their career alerting them and making them comfortable to broach medical topics, ask for special care or feel comfortable. People of color tend to distrust the medical field, doctors are quacks but want to be given magic pills instead of seeing doctors as learned employees who can only be good at their job based on your management and honesty with them and receptiveness to their advice.

MSM have a smaller network of sexual partners. Privilege and entitlement make it easier to cross as white men and women racial lines and not feel social, financial, emotional, racial pressure positive and negatively. So brown stays with brown but imagine this: 10 guys in a brown neighborhood over time without knowing each other will have accessed each others sexual network. A white man or a brown one dating all over the state and others, will dip into networks but the 1 in 10 for white and intrepid brown black is then 1 in 20 chance of infection on the merry go round will miss him more often....unless he's you know a super-whore or the wrong kind of lotto winner. Brown to brown odds are 1 in 4.

Brooklyn neighborhoods Bed Stuy and Brownsville have such a high HIV infection rate that it's only beat by sub Saharan Africa HIV II infections. The Bronx is no 60-70% full of HIV infected adults because HASA, the social services special division for benefits for the roughly 200,000 on their dole, only pays up to $999 for rent for a single person-----where are those rents cheapest? Bronx, bed stuy, Brownsville, Harlem so all of the HIV infected adults are herded into a tight geographic area.

I teach in workshops to ask where a man or woman lives in NYC because their address can intimate higher infection possibility.
A smaller community with less men/women sexually educated and liberated to explore outside of our immediate environments, we're more likely to catch a permanent"ride". Besides safe sex one of the best preventive measures, as counter intuitive as it sounds, is to fuck around, in bigger social circles.
Bigger kicker, systemic racism and discrimination like world war II when whites were able to take advantage of free college and mortgages, translated for minorities as 1200 college seats available for 100, 000 plus returning hence the doorman, train porter and hotel bellhop surge of black men in the 1950s thru 1970s.
But how does this affect black folk now? Being denied the uplift that millions of white folk got in education and property ownership affected their children and their grandchildren because there was no transferrable knowledge or material wealth to pass on in a very specific area---pensions. Disqualifying a group meant that they couldn't pull their sons or grandsons into pensioned jobs therefore each generation is starting from near scratch resource and intellectually if you fall into about 2/3 s of the less educated people of blacks, etc. Obama announced in 2009 that in order to make $15 or more in the 21st century you'd need a minimum of an associates degree, two years of college. Your granddaddy couldn't get a degree, your daddy didn't, how you going to know how, learning is a middle class skill.

Wait for it.

So you're young, black in NYC, basic high school education, gay, trans, bi, str8 and HASA pays $30,000 a year for life in rent, cash, food stamps, healthcare for a chronic, no longer terminal disease, that may or may not kill you in 27 years.
Instant pension, no matter your age and all you have to to be eligible is fuck, a lot, maybe even in your own neighborhood and then you get to do nothing, maybe work under the table for stores or bars or uber.

Sounds insane?

I have many a student and older adult client who've bug chased and purposefully gotten positive because its a lifetime lotto of on average $600,000 per person.
The infected don’t know or don’t care. Racism has created a fatalism to people of color, hence the above. The power of the church comes from the faith and blind hope that life will be better elsewhere, never here. In a broad way, racism and inequality pushes us to believe this earth is hell so it gives way for less health monitoring and self controls. Not being fully integrated into the world system of government we don’t both see and feel the impact of medical costs, pharmaceutical costs, lost resources lost workers, lost genius, lack of progress predicated on the existence of others....because racism has ironically taught us to devalue ourselves. Devalued people want sex pleasure but why practice safe sex if it is all unequal?

Racism sexualized us as a mass, the social reaction by the black and brown masses was a sexual conservatism internally within our communities. White people have Caitlyn Jenner (who I finally saw, heard, video of on Celebrity Apprentice ----officially hmmm wow and what the fuck?), now what Asian, Latino, black transgender has Diane Sawyer interviewed? Bruce Jenners fame has propelled attention but Jenner having been a white man affords him the privilege to drop being male in his SIXTIES and entitlement allows him, sitting in a dress, designer dresses on your huge magazines , full makeup, having had multiple children and multiple wives to look Ellen Lesbian DeGeneres in the face on national tv and say he opposes gay/same sex marriage. No, really. Blew her mind because she has never experienced white male power, privilege and entitlement wrapped in liberation so intensely before.

People of color, as wacky and hubristic as Jenner may be, we don't have the powerful of our communities exampling power, entitlement, privilege,liberation and identity control because our history is in direct opposition to such.
Caitlyn Jenner is a hero, gets an Espy, Dennis Rodman was just crazy. Because white male occupied sexuality, trans or gay (ala Matthew Sheppard) is to be taken seriously ----how about Rashawn Brazell. Same difference, neighborhood dude killed him, had known him for years, lured him into a pick up situation, killed him by hacking him pieces. We wont even talk about the visibly drugged Laotian brown boy who was running down the street naked that despite black neighbors protest was delivered back to his boyfriend...Jeffrey Dahmer.
White people, socially are in high school around sexuality, brown folk have some prodigies but en masse, we're graduating from elementary school to middle school. That gap means less sexual education about identity, experimentation, sexuality and therefore safe sex in our communities.
The church is fundamentally based on our oppressors ontology of reality. In order to have a church for other social needs we've had to take the mental and spiritual rape of the Bible to establish community in front of our oppressors. The church is therefore its own dialectic trying to appease and comfort while moving towards a center of humanism. That consistent spiritual dialectic keeps people of color not stuck but wandering around the mall parking lot, some in line, others not, some trying to escape the parking lot mentality. We're at a Juncture of about 40 years now out of oppression/slavery---we are master-less, rudderless, trying to build viable communities. the multitude of community needs, jobs, food, water, property rights, education, retirement plans, childcare, ending misogyny an d misandry, ending crime, domestic abuse, elder care, mental healthcare put HIV behind heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, when we run through major to minor issues.

HIV prevention isn't a big enough problem because it doesn't kill as fast, 5 years in rural places like Charlotte, 27 years life expectancy in Harlem, that time disparity lets all them other community maladies push it to the fringes so the community hasn't been able to respond as effectively as the white community. The white communities initial mass infection were what-----go to the Caitlyn Jenner image---white men who were raised to see their perspective as the center of the universe in entitlement, power and therefore demand with their greater financial and social resources, better attention, health care and research. People of color are still advocating about racism based on race----we're yelling in the parking lot, white gay men are in the mansion having tea then going into the other room and arguing for same sex marriage rights, inherent, historical institutional change before the Supreme Court....folk of color....could you let us beyond the lobby to start working on our grievances?
Please?
Pretty please?
Historically black, Latino , native and Asian value is connected to white decision of value. There's a famous story by Thurmann and recounted by Derrick Bell author of Faces At The Bottom Of The Well: The Permanence Of Racism, of aliens coming to Earth offering cures for diseases, wealth, technology....all they want is all the black people.


There is no inherent value to blacks and others NOT being 8 times more infected to white people. The world, in the story, unites to round everyone darker than beige up.

As HIV parable say 50 to 75% of black folk died of HIV in the next 30 years, 50% latino-----what do you think say someone like Caitlyn Jenner, expressing a deep identity desire in a Dior gown, hair long and shiny, make up flawless, having been a white man for sixty years and now jumping fence but opposed to equal rights for all in historical institutions, after having indulged emotionally, social and financially benefited from said institutions historically, would do, say or feel about the minorities going poof?

More land. More resources. More jobs. More opportunity to structure the society and institutions to ego suit.

White men being blind and partially lacking profit from the survival of others, within America and other places is the fundamental reason why the World Health Organizations has forced countries to sign accords, over 120 so far, to keep a single, level pricing for HIV meds.

Smile, Kyle
KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com

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Kyle Phoenix Answers: How do you "look at" people following you/behind you without actually turning your head around?

Reflections are good. I also watch shadows near and around mine. I also stop unexpectedly and let people pass me. Lastly I directly let them eye my gaze, make eye contact and then let it wipe off of them sideways after a second or two like q moving camera shoot they've walked into so its not stare confrontation between us but it is directed attention and then dismissive changing of whats in my line of vision. I am aware of you but not panicked. If approached, direct eye contact, strong "No, thank you.". The three words as answer to solicitation for money, directions, conversation cuts through bullshit.
"I have been having a bad day, could you help me out with money?".
"No, thank you."
Because its so direct and polite but delivered intentionally it is bracing.
Try it.
Then I keep moving or pan my Visio away. I refuse rapport.
"oh man I'm hungry you didn't understand me."
Turn the camera back to them, not eyes but your field of vision. Now...silence as you fix glare onto them. Three to dive seconds of silence. Use silence, it gives humans nothing to go on. Do not move if you're standing or sitting. Stillness.
"I said no." Us a good follow up.
If they persist to a third.
Raise voice loudly, direct eye contact full directed anger.
"What part of no dont you understand?"
I live in nyf where you are literally accosted by beggars, scams, cons at least once a day on subway and streets, I'm not exaggerating. Its the one thing I detest about the city and will eventually move due to. It feels like living in Calcutta but impossible to tell accurately others intentions.

My "No, thank you." Tends to disarm and deflect so intensely because I say it so directly to any request. Do not conversate, stonewall.

Yes, I do give or help or answer questions but I take a beat to watch people in my space first.

NYC also has an abundance of tourists so I have to remember though they are offensive or feel intrusive thats not their intention. NYC is also home to a lot of foreigners who have questions regarding everything, for clarity.

I am not painting a good picture of NYC as a pedestrian, its a form of torture to travel.

Then whether someone is a mugger
....eiii gevalt!

But I have been safe so far.

Also extricate self from confrontation, make defensive space. Don't let people in too close when they refuse your no.

Kyle Phoenix

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Is Gay Porn Racist? on the Kyle Phoenix Blog

Is there racism at the heart of gay pornography? Are depictions of black and Asian men exploiting prejudices about them?

01 OCTOBER 2013 | BY MATT PHIL CARVER

Photo by Blatino Erotica Awards.


Pornography and its alleged harmfulness has been a burning issue in politics and the media throughout 2013. British Prime Minister David Cameron wants porn-filters, scientists want to know what porn does to our brains and the city of Los Angeles wants its porn performers to wear condoms at all times.

When it comes to gay porn though, there is plenty of discussion in academia but barely any in the media.

So let’s get started.

Gail Dines is the author of Pornland: How Porn has Hijacked our Society; she is a professor in sociology and a founder member of the activist group Stop Porn Culture. She is the perfect person to tell us whether these ample sociological debates over pornography are inclusive of gay porn and, if so, what the pressing issues are.

Dines proves to be very enthusiastic to discuss the matter.

‘The fight has always been between women and straight porn,’ she says. ‘I think that gay men have not got into this, and if they have, they’ve sided with the pro-porn feminists.’

Dines has plenty of questions about the gay porn industry but the one she speaks most animatedly about is the issue of racial stereotyping.

‘When I was researching my book on gay porn I was shocked at the level of racism,’ she says. ‘A lot of gay porn is racist in the way it hyper-masculinizes black men and feminizes Asian men.

‘Asian men are always turned into “twinks” and “fuckees”, while the black men are always the “fuckers” of as many men as they can lay their hands on – especially white men.

‘In this country [the USA], racism has always been sexualized. The idea is that black women are whores and black men are animalistic “fuckers” who are after white women.

‘That’s the history of racism in America – black people were defined out of humanness into animalistic sexuality and that’s what was legitimizing the lynching of black men and the raping of black women.

‘It swirls around the culture – those racist, sexist stereotypes are in this [American] culture – so when they come to produce porn, it’s just sexualizing the stereotypes of black and Asian men.’

This is just one topic GSN discussed with Gail Dines, others will be covered in a later feature, but endemic racism is such a strong allegation to make against the gay porn industry it merits seeking a case for the defense here and now.

Mike Stabile and Jack Judah Shamama run Gay Porn Blog, a popular website for blogs, videos, news and discussion of all things within the gay porn industry. They say they have been ‘blogging about gay porn since there was an internet with porn to blog about’, so they know the industry as well as anyone.

Stabile and Shamama prove to be very approachable and provide firm responses to Dines’ views on racism in porn.

Stabile says: ‘Yes, porn has strains of racism. But so do politics, so does larger culture.

‘Where porn differs is that it offers tremendously varied versions of gay life; there are Asian tops and plenty of black bottoms. Part of the excitement about the internet is that you can see your body, and your sexuality, represented without limits.

‘So yes, if you’re looking for racism, you’ll find it – that’s what free speech is about. Sometimes it’s ugly, but it’s wrong to paint with too broad a brush.

Shamama adds: ‘When people start to talk about porn (especially gay porn) in the context of social responsibility I tend to get nervous because if you follow their arguments out to their logical conclusions they always seems to end up advocating for censorship, whether they mean to or not.

‘You can take any creative medium – modern art, rap music – and cherry pick racist or sexist examples (especially when you take them out of context) and easily apply that to the medium as a whole.’

So is gay porn fundamentally racist, as Gail Dines says? Or are videos featuring Asian ‘twinks’ and black ‘fuckers’ just one sub-category in a pluralistic industry that seeks to cater for all tastes?

GSN took to some gay porn forums to garner the opinions of the consumers themselves.

On the forums of gay porn site Just Us Boys, user ‘Agromac’ told us: ‘So long as you bear in mind what porn is then you’re alright – it’s entertainment, fantasy. If you start thinking it’s more than that, like a reality for which to strive, then you’re in trouble.

‘If porn does have any kind of stereotypes, then there has to be a market for it, but then that’s where the fantasy comes in – bear in mind it's not reality.’

User ‘ElmosToe’ said: ‘The racial stereotypes found in porn exist because they exist in society first. Porn can be harmful in the sense it merely perpetuates those stereotypes and can contribute to a lack of respect towards others by the viewer.

‘Personally, I think some people can tend to, unintentionally, turn what they don’t understand and may fear into a fetish as a way to explore and understand their curiosity.

‘An example of this would be the myth that black men have bigger dicks. This took root several centuries back, starting in Europe and eventually carrying over to the US. The idea of “sexual threat”, that black men in particular were sub-human, animalistic and lust-driven.’

Also among these responses were several negative reactions to the idea of academics being vocal about gay porn.

‘PAbear’, for example, said: ‘They need to get a grip. It’s not about making societal commentary, it’s about getting your dick hard and then getting off.

‘Remember, porn is a tool. It’s a tool for the makers to make money and it’s a tool for the viewers to get off. We’ve got to stop making it the be-all-and-end-all of society.’

This skepticism for academic criticism echoes a comment from Stabile of Gay Porn Blog: ‘At the end of the day, Ms Dines doesn’t like sexuality. She's called for Playboy to be banned and for BDSM images to be outlawed.

‘Sexuality may not be a big part of her life, but it’s a big part of the lives of a lot of people – men, women, gay, straight, black, white, Asian. And for those of us who do like porn, and don’t see sexuality as a negative, we don’t want to be told that what we’re looking at is wrong or shameful.’

There seems to be a general acceptance on both sides of this debate that racial stereotypes do indeed exist in gay porn, but are they present in ‘a lot of it’, as Gail Dines says, or in ‘cherry-picked examples’ as Jack Judah Shamama says?

One repeated suggestion is that, in porn, racial stereotypes only exist only as a reflection of the society they are created for; that if there were no demand then there would be no supply.

If, by this logic, the accusations of racism were turned from the creators of gay porn onto the consumers of gay porn, surely the same questions would still apply; is it endemic or is it isolated examples? Is it just harmless sexual fantasy that has no decisive influence on society, or something more sinister?

If we are to separate porn consumers from the visual porn industry itself, then it is worth looking to the written erotica industry.

The publishing industry for gay erotica is very precise in its targeting of specific reader preferences and caters largely (although certainly not exactly) to the same consumers as gay visual porn.

Make Mine to Go author Dilo Keith (a professional pseudonym) writes gay erotica that is fuelled by a lifetime’s immersion in gay culture and by her own experiences in BDSM culture.

A self-described ‘queer female’, Keith says she is an avid reader of written gay fiction, but only an occasional watcher of gay porn; so she knows the audience well, but is neither an avid consumer nor a critic of visual gay porn itself.

She is the closest we are likely to get to an informed but impartial opinion.

‘My experience [with gay porn videos] is mostly from what I see posted on sites like this [Just Us Boys forums],’ Keith tells us. ‘Men, more than women, tend to get turned on by very specific things, including race. I don’t think gay and non-gay men differ all that much.

‘I don’t get the sense there’s a huge amount of racial inequality depicted, not more than any other element.

‘Like most porn, it can perpetuate stereotypes, encourage turning people into fetish objects and so on. But non-porn media does the same thing by creating unrealistic standards for beauty or success or whatever.

‘For most men, racial preferences probably don’t cause a problem in real life – it’s just what they want to watch. I’d rather not encourage more racially-based porn, but I’m not going to support regulating something there’s a market for if it involves consenting adults who do no actual harm as a result of it.’

Whether or not this is correct, that there is ‘no actual harm’ as a result of racial stereotyping in gay porn, is a matter of each individual’s moral opinion.

Likewise, whether or not gay porn is a ripe subject matter for academic debate is open to question.

But while pornography at large is being hotly debated in politics and the media, and with gay porn being largely ignored in both arenas, the most important thing is to ask the questions.

- See more at: http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/gay-porn-racist011013#sthash.T2gdvBPy.dpuf

Black and Latino Gay Men and The Failure Reality by Kyle Phoenix

I've worked lots of places, had a ton of jobs, started several businesses.  Recently a  friend asked me to invest in a real estate project and I dithered around giving him an answer as I was interested but had to admit that if I kept paying all my outrageously expensive school fees---I wasn't in a position to do it within the next year or so.  In fact for the past four years I've been living way below financial means---and by that I mean prior to this time frame I'd made multiples of my yearly income and spent it on---well, I don't' really know.  Good food, fun times, vacations, overpriced New York City apartments, Emporio Armani and books.  I looked back on what I believed I should've been capable of investing, at co-workers and friends who weren't in school and I felt like a failure.  I want to be honest that I'm aware of the contradiction of attending a fantastic university and still feeling like I've almost dropped out of being successful.

Yes, I know that this will guarantee a level of prosperity in my future---already in the projects I do each year of school has doubled my income if one were to calculate it on a yearly basis---again without the cost of school itself.  I know therefore that the next few years that I still have to do---and the insane prospect of another decade spent pursuing more Masters degrees are worth it.  But then an email will come along about a co-worker's promotion or new exciting job with that fun, fun, fun title and I groan inwardly that I've taken a detour off the beaten path from Success Land to grudgingly learn in It Will be Worth It Ville---we don't even have a full service positivity gas station here---it's more like a mantra than actual fuel.

I was chatting a with a fellow student about it and we started invariably talking about Black men's perception of their work and motivation.  One, that I was doing well.  And two, that I was doing exceptionally well for a Black man.  Then we started talking about Black and Latino homosexual men and the idea that sexuality/race impact them so intensely that successful accomplishments are so scatter shot.  Whenever I begin to moan and groan friends point out to me that I "do so much".  That I'm never not doing something.  That my work is maturing, growing, expanding.

But I have this niggling feeling that I should be doing more.


When I look at this it's because I see so many other men of color who sabotage themselves.  And I'm terrified of self-sabotage.  I count bareback sex, foolish relationships, flagellation through religion, depression, anger, addiction, and generally avoidable fuckery based foolishness like STDs, as sabotage.

I was just working with a friend who upon hiring a department manager, was in bed with him within a week's time.  Other managers found out and have essentially sequestered off both of them.

Someone else told me about a teacher who couldn't pass a drug test if he was spotted a baby's urine because his party habits are so intense urine gets a contact high from his hands.

Yet another acquaintance is only into a certain shall we say level of young men.  They have to be extremely young and most importantly not have comparable resources or education.  He likes them GED-less, poverty stricken, desperate and just this edge of self-destructive.  It's cost him innumerable business contacts and relationships because his sales job allows him to travel and he's always bringing the messed up youngsters along.

People may not say something about or too the above men but people always notice.  And then they gossip, judge and ostracize them about it based on gender, sexuality and the vice.


That niggling feeling I was talking about is my trying to outrun insanity.

 Insanity seems so prevalent among men similar to me, educated, intelligent, capable, brown---that I'm on constant guard to be productive, to be strait-laced ,to be conscious of my relationships and propriety.  I was recently writing a program curriculum for a LGBT organization and the director said that once he saw my name attached to the project, he knew they'd be okay.  He meant that there were so many men of color who had been floated to do the work but that they had reputations---extremely unprofessional reputations, that they had sabotaged other organizations, their own standing, their chances of going forward.

He confidentially asked me why men would do this to themselves (ironically I'm often asked...confidentially by principals, directors, executive directors, superintendents, CEO's and several social social workers about Black and Latino homosexual men we know.work with in common.)  And directly to this Exec. Dir., I said that I think Black and Latino LGBT men try to fulfill the negative bounty put on their heads by society and want to kill themselves in as many ways---physically, psychically, emotionally and professionally, as possible.  That when you live in quasi-states of Outness or in morally ambiguous professionality, you come to dislike the impostor you are.  You can only dodge and lie about your core identity for so long.  But instead of dealing with that, being out at work, striving for healthier relationships you must find some way to destroy the perpetrator of your sadness, of your disgust.  Unfortunately that perpetrator is you and therefore you're obligated to destroy yourself.

The next logical question was: "Well, Kyle, why haven't you done this to yourself?"

First and luckily, my work for years has had me comparing myself---holding up my own psyche and choices to men of color and demanding that same explanation.  To the best of my understanding so far I can offer that I've never considered my sexuality as anything but divinely created and natural; and I get rid of anything and anybody who is anti my right to have that belief system.  I don't partake in church services or family dinners where there's silence, proselytizing or questioning of who and what I am.  I often listen to men of color gnash their teeth and flay their own flesh with the borrowed whips from others...and then watch them blindly consume themselves in self-destructive behavior.

Secondly, I also don't dislike men.  Honestly I think more homosexual men dislike men than heterosexual men or women do.  That dual attraction and rejection from heterosexual men who have distrust of homosexual men.

(I think this also creates that whole delusional thinking that all heterosexual men must be bisexual.  When in truth, all human beings experiment with thoughts, feelings and actions around identity---but pretty much all settle on who and what they are in their core.  A heterosexual man might have sex with you, his female wife doesn't know but that doesn't mean anything about his core identity.  Sex can be action and not identity. )

That distrust and rejection means that like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer homosexuals get pushed away from the tribe of men.  Imagine being despised by the very thing you lust after?  Definite ambiguity and resentment there.

And thirdly, we're in a renaissance period in the world around sexuality---it's moving into the mainstream---it's normalized and legalized with covenants and protections.  But people move at the same speed.  Many homosexual men will never fully experience or appreciate the liberation now because frankly they're neighbors to it but aren't young enough to grow up in a sexuality permissive household and society.  Depending on your family structure or permissiveness even being in your 30's might mean it's too late for you to be anything but the stereotypical lonely, alone homosexual who isn't successful enough to have a"relationship" (a loving man on man, accepting relationship being damn near the Academy Award in Gayworld.)

What's left?  Maybe all those success screw ups and self sabotagers are really men who don't perceive a future for themselves beyond the moment?  Maybe they can't see themselves arguing before the Supreme Court because they are intrinsically valuable?  Maybe they've always felt valueless in their core identity because of their core identity?

When I boil this all down to that, I don't know if I feel "valuable"---I don't know how to articulate that.  But I do know that I feel obligated to trying to being something, a man and spirit of value.  That I feel obligated to, if not my father's morality, to a good man's morality.  That I feel spiritually this life is both lesson and intention, that I must make it worth something.  That I want to leave a legacy---even if it's just a Wikipedia entry---of effort.  That Kyle at least made an effort to be more than any expectations of him.

 Are you making your life worth something?  Or are you just majoring in a job, being unconscious with penetrating spurts of homosexual behavior?

Tell me what you think!

Kyle Phoenix

Thank you for reading and if you liked this check out the other blogs or one my books on Amazon.com
Kyle Phoenix
Email: kylephoenixshow@gmail.com
Website: http://site.kylephoenix.com/
Blog: http://kylephoenixshow.blogspot.com/
Amazon.com: simply type in Kyle Phoenix for over 25 paperback and digital books!
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http://www.mnn.org/live/2-lifestyle-channel

SCANDAL-ous Scenario #14: Back to Africa Love by Kyle Phoenix

Your partner of 2 years says he loves you but it's always been his dream to go to Africa and work there for 12 months on a relief project. You can call, text, email but he really wants to go alone and do this but he swears he will return to you. Do you wait?



Enjoy!
Kyle Phoenix
Email: kylephoenixshow@gmail.com
Amazon.com: Type in Kyle Phoenix for the Full Catalog of Kyle Phoenix books
Website: http://kylephoenix.com/
Blog: http://kylephoenixshow.blogspot.com/2012
Thanks and enjoy! You can Like Us on FaceBook or Follow Us on Twitter! Don't forget to watch The Kyle Phoenix Show on Channel 56 (Time Warner), 83 (RCN), 34 (Verizon) and the Thursday/Friday 12am/midnight simulcast onhttp://kylephoenix.com/

Do Gay And Queer Men Struggle For Intimate Stability? by Sean Smith of MUSED

Conversations with socially conscious LGBTQ identified associates and friends occur often in my life, but few of them leave me with lingering thoughts which I find myself intensely analyzing a few days later. I recently had a conversation with a friend who posed a question, which at the time, I did not think too deeply into; only to find myself sitting here a few days later pondering our discussion.

He wondered if gay/queer men who engage in intimate – emotional or sexual – connections with their friends bear connection to gay/queer men who struggle to find permanent intimacy (in layman’s terms, could fraternal intimacy be detrimental to the desire for permanent intimate stability). Honestly, when he first asked the question, I personally did not see a connection. Actually, I told him that I think gay and queer men have a difficult time finding intimacy simply because we do not want to.  I often felt and still feel to some extent that many of us avoid seeking permanent intimate relationships because we fear being neglected, objectified, and faced with the burden of defining a sense of stability that has been void within many of our lives. Our lack of understanding who we are, our constant struggle for acceptance, and our fear of neglect are all valid reasons as to why we settle for fraternal intimacy.

I personally was raised in an environment and situation where stability was not the norm for me. From the age of approximately 10 until 18, I moved from house to house every two to five years. I was forced to witness domestic abuse – my father was and still is absent from my life – and intimate relationships were impossible because I struggled with my own identity. It was nearly impossible for me to become accustomed to anyone else. For many gay and queer identified men, I feel that we share similar stories. We not only struggle with determining who we are or may want to be, but that any sense of permanence for us is simply a disaster waiting to happen. We are books still waiting to be opened and interpreted and statues devoid of a stable foundation. It is not uncommon for us to read stories of gay and queer men who struggle to build a relationship with their father, or simply exist with an identity that is consistently questioned by discriminatory social norms; so it is not shocking to me that we also struggle to create and maintain romantic intimacy and instead settle for temporary fraternal companionship.

We all enjoying cuddling; sex is one of the best things around, and who better to call then that friend who will offer you both sex and companionship on a rainy Saturday night. But relationships operate on stability, a characteristic built on communication, confidence, security, and trust of ourselves and our partners. If we were unaccustomed to stability as adolescents, how can we expect ourselves to reproduce that behavior once we mature? It becomes second nature to say we have difficulty finding our type, but in all honesty I think we have difficulty in finding and understanding ourselves.

Permanence requires an investigation into a realm of new possibilities, and quite frankly, it is hard to break old habits even if they are our parents’ that we never understood from the beginning. While I personally do not believe that there is anything egregious with fraternal intimacy, I will say that the game of intimate hide-and-seek that many of us have elected to play only further destroys the opportunity to repair ourselves. Many of us are broken, feel invisible, and continue to carry around in a Ziplock bag the baggage that was unknowingly placed upon us and our mastered action of avoidance continues to foster missed opportunities at the stability that many of us desire.

Friends are amazing, especially friends who can relate to every part of our being. But friends are often as toxic to us as we are to ourselves. Friends or those we call friends are often consumed with painting over their own problems that any advice or sexual assistance they may provide is filled with so much pain and strife that finding stability becomes as unbearable as watching a drag queen who has forgotten the lyrics. I implore you that the next time you call that cuddle buddy, instead ask yourself what is it that you really desire; can your two-hour snack and movie session truly fill the void of your desired happiness – I think not. As gay and queer identified men, it is time we move beyond our common practice of avoidance and internal destruction and give ourselves the permanence that we all at some point seek and desire. How you gain internal stability is up to you, but just a bit of advice: it first begins with understanding yourself and avoiding the toxic relationships of/with others; including those you may create with friends.

Enjoy!
Kyle Phoenix
Email: kylephoenixshow@gmail.com
Amazon.com: simply type in Kyle Phoenix for over 28 paperback and digital books!
Thanks and enjoy! You can Like Us on Facebook or Follow Us on Twitter! 
Don't forget to watch The Kyle Phoenix Show on Channel 56 (Time Warner), 83 (RCN), 34 (Verizon) and the Thursday/Friday 12am/midnight simulcast............