Homosexuals As Sexuality Fascists by Kyle Phoenix

 What is sexuality?  Do you know?  

More importantly what is your sexuality?  

How do you know?  
Now more frighteningly, what is someone else's sexuality?  

Can you know beyond what they tell you is their truth?

I've often had this as a topic in workshops because it covers so many areas that MSM are fuzzy about.  Some of the fuzziness comes from the core of having a liberated sexuality that doesn't answer to the society around you (as long as it's not breaking moral codes and not outdated legal laws) and the dual edged responsibility that comes with that.  To "be" means that you also confer, or should, the right for others to "be".  But then like a busy bubba bee we get into what the definition of is is.

Let's make it simple and concrete---Sexuality is only about 4 things:

BODY
Sexuality is what your body is.

You're in a body.  Look down.   There you go.  That's you.  It might be defined by society around you as male, female, or intersex (any combination or negation of the previous two).  That's just simple physical parameters that we as human beings can physically define.  We get this definition by comparing ourselves to nature, particularly animals and insects in nature that are most similar to us in possessing bodes and consciousness.

DO
Sexuality is what your body can do.

No matter how marvelous you mat feel about that thing you discovered and did with someone last week or twenty years ago, it's been done before.  By millions of human beings.  Perhaps even billions.  The only absolute difference in your sexuality would be using an IPhone 5 that is displaying this blog and using it in your sexuality---it would have to be that immediately new and sadly, somewhere, someone in the world has already done something post-physical with an IPhone 5 while displaying a blog....by a Black man.....in New York.....who likes jellybeans.  Yeah, human beings have been immediately doing things with their bodies for more years than the human mind can fathom.

FEEL
Sexuality is what you feel like doing with your body.
While there's a list, of about 30 things you can do sexually with your body, one hundred when you expand it to include another human and over probably a thousand when you start introducing objects, humans see sexuality through identity.  More importantly the aspect of your identity that identifies you as an "I" amongst the see of all the other humans who may look, seem and smell like you but you identify as "them".


OTHER
Sexuality is who you feel like doing it with.
Just because you can do it, just because you can mentally entertain doing it and just because you have a body, doesn't mean you want to do many things listed on the sexuality display board of activities.  There has to be a drive, emotional component, action, to just do it!  Like everything else human beings are incentive based animals.  Whether it's pain or pleasure we do things for incentive.  Sane things and insane things.

However what all human beings have an initial problem dealing with is contradiction of reality.  You stand on the ground and this mysterious force called gravity has been holding you to it and will continue to do so for the entirety of your life.    Yet when toddlers are asked to define and point out where a human being is, inside of their body---where identity/the soul resides, children point at a region around the head and slightly above it.  What makes you a "You" has never touched the ground because it's in this container called a body, yet it too is affected by gravity because its' container is.  Yet your soul is never defined as being limited by gravity.  A contradiction of two simultaneously existing states of reality.

A delightful metaphysical hypothesis you might agree but what does this have to do with sexuality?

MSM and others learn early on that their parents, peers and friends are not initially thrilled with how an individual MSM might express that his BODY FEELS to DO in alignment with his OTHER.  We're all taught that and to varying degrees of lifelong success we manage, negotiate and mitigate the initial projection.  (Now just to be complicated I'm going to throw a lot into that projection like: heterosexuaity, bisexuality, homosexuality, beastiality, chastity, incest, rape, celibacy, sadomasochism, miscegenation, discrimination, alienation and my favorite, liberation.)

But we're also given something else.  Judgment and the indefatigable ability, we believe to self-define our own crotches and therefore be able to measure and "fix"  the crotch of another.  By fix I mean compare someone else's to our own and judge that it is not good, out of alignment, incorrect and therefore sick, wrong, twisted, demented, confused, lying, immature, etc..  Now the ways I'll give you some mulligans are for immaturity and "wrong/sick" that involve coercion of another, force or destructiveness.  Other than that anything two consenting adults come up with involving an IPhone, a cupcake, some hot wax, a double headed dildo, pictures of Betty Boop and a Twister mat, while perhaps disturbing, is not wrong.  It might be wrong when I try to match it against my BODY, DO, FEEL, OTHER, as in it doesn't align.  But that doesn't make it morally wrong nor negate it's right to exist and just as I require at least tacit respect and non-harm for my own sexuality, those that aren't my own deserve the same.

Oh, wait, does your sexuality deserve respect?  Does your sexuality deserve to to not be harmed/attacked/vilified?

While screaming how their BODY (male) wanting to DO (homosexuality) with anOTHER who FEELS the same, MSM often believe that their trying to get only one other seat on the humanity bus. They never consider that there might be other folk trying to get a seat and maybe the bus should be expanded and that even more revolutionary maybe the ones who know what it's like to be excluded often become the excluders because as Frantz Fanon, writer of Wretched of The Earth, defining horizontal violence as...The larger picture of horizontal violence is systemic oppression. It is not a mental state that can be isolated from vertical oppression which is a top-to-bottom use of state power to colonize people.........People under such a condition develop a duality of purpose in doing things – an ironic kind of resignation to the reality not within their control contraposed to a mounting inner protest at one’s oppressive situation. Because of this contradictions that happen in the conscious and unconscious mind of the oppressed, it results in the oppressed’s having within his psyche the oppressor himself. Strangely, he too becomes an oppressor if he doesn't realize what a victim he has become under an oppressive system. The only difference in this particular situation that separates the oppressed from the oppressor is that the oppressed who hasn't realized his pathetic condition oppresses only his peers and reveres his oppressor....which riffs into Paulo Freire , a Brazilian Educator, who wrote in his book, Pedagogy of the Oppressed............that horizontal violence is part of the psychological state of people trapped by poverty and powerlessness. Part of the psyche of such group is the internalized image of the people causing the oppression . That internalized image settles more in the unconscious mind than in the conscious mind. On the conscious level, the oppressed views the oppressor as the “complete human being” and he, the oppressed, as the incomplete one. The oppressive aspect of that internalized image is not viewed as oppressive by the oppressed person. The oppressive tendencies coming from the internalized image of the oppressor assert themselves whenever the oppressed has an opportunity to be like the oppressor.
Oh, snap!
Suddenly MSM who judge gay for pay (straight men who perform in homosexual pornography for money/resources) are not taking into account they are acting out learned oppressive stances.  Or they might do this to announced bisexuals---"You're just confused!" they jeer.  Or no one has the right to experiment with his or her sexuality, that homosexuality is like an infection---so if you did something in school or jail or had one same sex affair---"You're gay!  You're just confused!"  That transsexuals are truly confused and insane especially when they not only feel that their body is wrong but they transition to another gender and then are same gender loving (example: a male trans to female and is a lesbian).

Because it couldn't possibly be that people raised in oppression even of sexualityinternalize and become the oppressors.  Nah, we never have seen the oppressed take on an ideas, ideology and markings of clear oppressors to the point where they act even more rabidly insane than the oppressors.  Nah, that could never happen.  Never.  Ever. 

So then the question comes up in my workshops (you're thinking they're really the jump off---and they are!  More fun than a sack of granddaddies!): what do you think, Kyle?

The task of a teacher/facilitator is to either express their confusion at something (I don't get sex in a dark park or a public bathroom---I understand it but, for me personally, it's right up there with scat) and the group illuminates me to understanding.  Or the group pose a question and I illuminate alternative perspectives (critical thinking applied) for how to look at something and what future actions to consider taking.

I have always thought that YOU should be in charge of managing YOUR crotch.  And I'll manage mine.    Management includes non-judgment (unless it breeches morality or just legal laws---I have to keep pointing this out because people who are not ready to think differently will rail with sexual abuse, incest, rape, etc..  Curiously, I find that the most announced liberal are as doggedly narrow and inflexible in their beliefs as the directly announced fundamentalist/oppressors.  I clearly state things and points several times other in a calm voice.  Yes, sometimes teaching can feel reductive.)  But I also think that acceptance for the Latino kid son the bus means I should be just as accepting of the Asian especially when I say based upon ethnicity and race, I'm accepting the first kid.

I can't justify homosexuality if I don't accept all the myriadical positions and possibilities that it includes that aren't permanent identity.sexuality choices to every human being who has participated in it and all of the alternative perspective sexualities other human beings might present.  Why it would make me a hypocrite and a sexuality fascist to do the contradictory opposite and I might only do that if I.........were raised by a heterosexual social hegemony that teaches that very skill.

Coming Soon:

Gay For Pay and Reality: Do You Know The Difference?

Thank you,
Kyle Phoenix
Email: kylephoenixshow@aol.com
Website: http://kylephoenixsite.com/
Blog: http://kylephoenixshow.blogspot.com/2012
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