The Kyle Phoenix Blog: Kyle Phoenix Answers: How often do gay men think about sex? Do you guys check out every guy that passes by and wonder if he is gay?

Monday, April 30, 2018

Kyle Phoenix Answers: How often do gay men think about sex? Do you guys check out every guy that passes by and wonder if he is gay?

I’m an Alpha, with higher levels of testosterone. I think about fucking. A lot. I’m checking guys out constantly. On the train, sometimes I linger just to see…………the ass shot. Hate to see you go but love to watch you leave.

While I aesthetically dislike the skinny jean, it does help to define the booty. Saggy pants are the bane of my visual existence though. I had a friend who was a crotch watcher, a package viewer, a bulge spectator. That was never my thing. In general, clothed or naked, I’m not a big penis connoisseur. I mean I look but there’s so little you can tell from slacks or jeans. And naked, once you’ve seen 200 or 300 it’s kind of more about the person. and excusing, applauding or complimenting them.

But I find that by my own life, how and why I look falls into differing categories. If I’m in a relationship, it’s like a lot of my sexual energy slowly shifts to focusing on them, with a small portion left over to occasionally notice the odd hottie. But when I’m single I perceive men and sex and sexuality differently. It’s all good and all possible. I don’t think I’m overly sexual by comparison to other men because I’m just generally a bit more socially polite but I am more direct and focused. I’ll go online, to a nightclub, be more social, go out on more dates and divide my attention and energy into dates and sex and be very clear with them which is which.

Most men play these ambiguous games and I’m like do you want to fuck? Does your friend? Do all of your friends?

Because of my work I have fewer insecurities and hang-ups about my sexuality—-it’s never occurred to me to consider my parents or family in relationship to my sexuality, and when they questioned it, I questioned THEIR sexuality—-what are you doing with YOUR crotch? Oh, then how is mine your business?

So I’m comfortable saying I sexualize men and women that fall into what I find attractive. Excessively. I don’t demean nor debase them as I have lots of male friends who do so and I find that distasteful. I would say I look but I don’t have to let friends and the whole world know I just checked someone out. I admire. I don’t ogle. I imagine stuff, yes, but I don’t infringe upon another person’s sexuality——meaning if someone is straight or obviously so—-whatever that means—-in a couple, I don’t sexualize them or hit on them. That’s crass.

But yes, I do play a game in the lobby while waiting and people are coming through the door—-Who would you rather fuck? It’s a vicious game but fun. You find out a lot about yourself when you have to pick one of three people.

I also imagine people smiling to see if that improves their attractiveness.

Oddly enough though I’ve known a lot of strippers, even been one briefly, I don’t find them nor lap dances very arousing. Probably because I consider it false or Omni directed, not personal to me.

I generally decide on a sexual partner after some careful searching around attitudes, safety, etc. and try to have a concentrated, multi-hour sexual time or multiple days with that person in a purely sexual way. In dating, I have time frames around sex and developing intimacy (3–6 months) and it gives both of us time to engage or not to engage without becoming chemically bonded. I also think escorts are an excellent sex outlet for these times, again with the caveat of safety and I’ve engaged them when I was unattached and wanted to find a particular experience with a particular “type”.

I often think, when dealing with depressed older MSM that one of the considerations for their financial planning and retirement should’ve been providing amply for a lover younger than them to give incentive to a relationship or to be able to hire escorts.

Many, many, many men, all ages are so sexually bent up, screwed up, pent up, self destructive, other destructive, that I plan to have resources to meet my companionship or single/sexual needs as I get older and rock on into being a thoroughly smutty old man with skills like a sexual Jedi Master.