Wednesday, February 22, 2023

What did your boss do or say to you that made you quit your job? by Kyle Phoenix

 

I saw this question several times and didn’t think I had a tale but I do! I actually mentioned it to a coworker a few days ago.

Back in the early 2000s I was fresh out of undergraduate and temping/consulting—-eventually tapped to work at HIP because it was in Long Island City, Queens and I lived in Flushing, Queens—-so it was a 20 minutes commute, and not in Manhattan. What made HIP stand out for me was that I got there like the last week of November and they excitedly invited me to the corporate Christmas dinner, which I took my roommate to. It turned out to be Plataforma—-which is the origin story of how it became one of my all time favorite restaurants that I go to several times a year.

While temping, they offered me the job permanently which I accepted to a 90 day trial. I also see and make sure it is understood—-I am always Kyle, Inc. dealing with Acme, Inc., so they too are on a 90 day trial basis with me. At the same time another agency offered me into a program/positions for places like Goldman Sachs, Lehman Brothers, doing financial graphic designer. The thing was the position was overnight or weekends, so I could hold two positions if I wanted. The kick was that in order to take the weekend/overnight positions meant I had to take an advanced training course they were sponsoring at the agency in PowerPoint/Excel—-free—-to get the candidates to essentially Advanced to Mastery level. The commitment would be classes for several weeks 6pm to 10pm, 5 days a week, then a test and then the candidate would move on to the company for a trial week (but if you got that far it was pretty much in the bag.)

I was working at HIP as an executive admin. for the finance director. A really good guy. White, young, married with a son. He felt a little harangued by the VP, a Black man—-who had grown up in damn near Jim Crow so he wasn’t easy on the finance guy. The VP was glad that there was his Latina executive asst., me, and others to create a multi-cultural team of about 20.

I openly explained why for a few weeks I had to leave at 5pm on the dot to get from Queens to Wall St, to be in the class, and there wasn’t a problem. Then finally my boss asked exactly what the class was—-I explained it and my interest in graphic design, it giving me extra p/t weekend/overnight cash and that it would also enhance my MS Office abilities/skills that I could use that at HIP (for him). He was fine with it but then he made a comment about the outcome: “You probably won’t be able to get the job though.”

He meant ME—-Kyle. Not because I’m visibly mentally challenged or my height or my then current level of abilities—-which was high—-hence, why I’d gotten the job.

What he was saying was a sort of passive aggressive dig.

YOU—-Kyle—-for whatever reasons he surmised into me—-are incapable of reaching the next intellectual rung/level.

It was about Day 60 and I explained that I would not be staying after the 90 day trial period. I have never had so many people interview me/question as to why I didn’t want a job. The VP, the CFO, the Head bookkeeper, the VP’s asst., everyone. Even my boss eventually telling me that he “loved me” and don’t go—-which kind of creeped me out—-because I hadn’t known him that long and he was married. lol

It was his fundamentally undercutting my value, my little aspirations, my enhancing my abilities for me.

So I quit. (I think of only 1 or 2 positions I’ve ever quit in 20 years.)

I continued the classes, passed, did the graphic design and eventually went on to work in securities litigation and then education—-ironically, I ended up teaching/designing a program teaching MS Word to mastery-certification level. Further, I’ve used those MS Office (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Access, outlook) advanced skills, and then particularly using in PowerPoint in my own business—-learning how to do design work over the past decade.

I was young. I was also capable with skills, I think it’s important to be tight on your skills and not allow anyone to downgrade your potentiality. The reason why I didn’t directly express why I was leaving was two fold—-I didn’t want to get into the whole psycho drama of it—-I was committed to something. Two, I don’t always feel the need to “fight”/combat points sometimes in work situations because I see it as an aspect of my life, not my life, there are other jobs in the world. Some of that detachment has to do with the fact that I’ve had small businesses so I’m already, not half foot in, but capable of being a foot out. I have a sense of self greater than only as an employee.

I also have a personal motto since I was a child:

“I am sovereign unto myself.”

No one tells a sovereign being their potential.

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