As a brown man who has dated men and women, ill tell you what happens at certain levels of income.
Mid-Middle class and lower under 10k to about 75k a year, you're likely to be around the same culture and ethnicity.
High middle class-$250k a year and up, you start to move in more overlapping Venn diagram circles. Conferences, colleges, parties, political functions, art openings...you can afford access to most things that millionaires can on a say $10k basis---Met opera tickets, Met galas, dinners....it might be a months pay but you can get in.
Here's what happens, those places have a larger percentage of non-Black folk. At Columbia University functions of say 100 adults over 30, I'm generally 1 of 2 or 3. But once in into those places unless I lose my damn mind the Whites, Asians, Middle Eastern, African, European, Latin American folk invite me to more of their social and cultural stuff. So now I'm 1 in 300. But I'm welcomed on my merits. I did a Fulbright Scholars presentation to 26 folk from all over the world, myself and another Black male were two presenters, coincidentally because our educational work overlapped into poverty issues so the invite to the Presidents house now had us and maybe 3 other Black folk and 200 others. One of the coat checkers was in a class of mine, she's Asian.
As just a numbers game I could be a 75k transit worker and have both peer, social, community interactions with Black men and women. That economic class average skews those in attendance.
My family had a second residence in a secured community ...me, my mother, the realtor and Herbie Hancock were the only Blacks amongst 200 homes.
Have I been places full of high middle class to rich ($250k plus a year, $1mil a year) to wealthy Black folk? Wealthy $10mil a year...yes. My mother directed, coordinated a movie premiere at Lincoln center of a Black film and all the Black glitterati came out, but more importantly business people because the sponsor budget was thru a Black union.
Now take those venues, neighborhoods, conferences and consider finding 3 out 10 people attractive and compatible to date. 1 of those three being ltr material for you and for their interests.
The numbers are skewed culturally to resources, class, who can handle your lifestyle (I've dated and several of my Black coworkers were nervous about going to the university presidents house and I had to talk them into a state of calmness)---that might seem minor but your date's comfortability, or mine, with that event, visiting the house in the mountains, coming to political parties, museum functions, dance/art recitals, I prefer good food for a date which means a $100 plus a person.
Because a smaller percentage of us have moved into or through those categories it's like I have to watch who's comfortable in my worlds, I've had both men and women of color, not know what to do or be intimidated but because of simply more Whites in varying classes (and entitlement/privilege , almost a force field) I've found more Whites are more comfortable. That makes me more comfortable and I can enjoy myself.
Now here's something odd I've thought about...i will partner with someone younger, probably won't be from my culture, I will have greater resources (I've dated richer white and Turkish) just by virtue of the circles I keep moving in. Which means my children will be mixed in some way.
Social class movement both isolates us black men and gives us options.
Smile, Kyle
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