The Condom Myth: One Size Doesn't Fit 75% of the Planet by Kyle Phoenix

Recently, by a well meaning student of mine who now works as a coordinator of a same gender support group, I was offered some condoms.  I'll be general here so as not to incur a lawsuit---we'll call them ABC Condoms.  I politely declined and he was aghast as part of my curriculum with him for years had entailed discussions around condoms not only for protection against sexually transmitted infections but also unintentional pregnancies (don't sleep on it some dudes like the pole and the hole as street slang has it).  I explained to him that I have never used "give away condoms" and never would.  Why not?  he inquired.  Because you get what you pay for and what you pay for might not be good enough.

Again, one of my non-rant rantings where I offer that we must all set a standard for ourselves. that precludes expediency for a level of critical thinking about our needs and personal protection.

What does all that hyperbolic jargon mean?

One, I can afford the comfort, fit and luxury of nicer condoms.  A hamburger from Wendy's is very different from a steak from Morton's and one pays accordingly.  Mass produced condoms are a way of cities and the CDC having action into problems of mass dispersing condoms for safety.  That doesn't mean that they're the best bet in town.  Also we don't talk about the fact that things generated for the masses have to be made cheaply and are to some degree targeted at those in poverty (remembering we're distinguishing poverty as not just lack of financial resources but also social resources (mentors, role models), mental (higher education), motivational (wisdom), etc.) so its a hit and miss attempt by government to curb some problems.

Also as a wonderful aside there is now studies going on as to the sizing of condoms.  The "myth" about Black and Latino men and penis size is grounded in truth mainly around the girth of a penis instead of some massive Mandingo promise.  Because of genetic/racial musculature, culture and health practices male penis size varies by race.  Black and Latino men tend to have (yes, I know there are exceptions---no need to whip them out at this point) more girth to their penises.  Caucasian men tend to not and Asian men tend to have smaller penises in totality.  Nature not me, God not judgment.

However that means that if a culture is dominated by another---say Caucasians in America then when they mass produce something whom will it be designed to fit---the Dominant Culture or the Others?  You guessed it----Caucasian penises are the template for the mass of free/government condoms in America.  However who is more likely to need/be in a form of poverty to have use of the condoms, particularly in urban areas---Black men and Latinos.

The studies now going on suggest that higher HIV/STI infections have to do with Black and Latino men not wanting to wear condoms because they're uncomfortable or tear due to girth.  Suddenly 1 out of 4 Black.Latino men being HIV+ by 25 makes sense.  It's not simply about education its also about not having proper pencils to write with----there's multiple puns in there.

So then what works if one size doesn't fit all?
Practice and like any other form of "clothing" we put on figuring out what your size is.  Interestingly enough women tend to get more sexual education and spend more time working out the vagaries of size and comfortable around things like Tampons and IUDs  because society is more supportive of women literally figuring it out. men though don't know to maybe invest in Magnums, Magnum XLs, Trojan, Ribbed, polyurethane condoms that are in no way latex based.
Next Blog entry: A running list of types of condoms for men.........yeah, it's a big one!

Thank you, I look forward to your emails and comments. And as always check your local listings for The Kyle Phoenix Show broadcast times in NYC. You can always find more information about me, topics and tips on relationships, finance and life strategies on

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