Sometimes it can feel frustrating because one, there’s a whole lot of something going over there in Bottom land and there’a a whole lot of expectation here in Top land.
I’ve never taken a naked picture or a dick pic and I don’t think I ever will I’ve looked at my penis and I’m pleased and thankful for it. I’ve had lots of compliments and routinely buy and fit Magnum XLs, Trojan XLS. I feel blessed.
But there is a whole lot of bottoming glory that I notice, think about, but I just don’t fit the Alpha mold for it nor the projected physiological mold for it so I don’t get seen that way.
I once asked a friend how he bottomed so….effortlessly, I simply couldn’t imagine, whether from my penis or others I’ve seen, insertion. Regularly. A lot. Fast. While in a variety of aerobic actions. He gave some zen breathing and you get used to it bullshit answers but it didn’t answer my attempts to get a breeze in and out occasionally hurting and a human’s appendage.
I had another friend. She was like 21 and a virgin and she was really frustrated because she had several guys interested in her but she kept putting it off. She lamented that she thought she was weird that she could do a number of bases but not bring it home. I was like I totally understand. Just the thought of having another human being inside of me would freak me out, would be something I would have to get used to as a concept. I think she was a little weirded out that Iwas so freaked out by it.
Contrarily being a top, in a big muscular man’s body, is like being a rhino on the African veldt with a delightful horn. There’s all this attention to try it but it starts getting a little predatory and objectifying. If one more person asks me how long, how big, as if that will make the encounter good…for me. And I answer back I’ve never measured, how deep is your rectum? have you measured? and they’re shocked and I’m shocked that in their spare time men are measuring their penises, which you don’t buy clothing directly for. I’m always like well I work, I teach, I write, I’m warm and loving, I’m getting a lot of shit done this lifetime, that measuring thing slipped my mind.
I often feel not objectified but reduced. And it’s dismissed as to what they might have to do as a bottom other than be delighted by my massive member. I mean just laying there, how is that good sex for me? Which brings to the point that there are soooooo many bottoms that you end up treating them in person or online as disposable because it’s like pencils or pens—-does this one work? Then toss it. Because so many of them speak only How Big language, you tend to gloss over them because there are 15 more in line.
It creates a weird frustration.
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