VideoLOG: The Kyle Phoenix Show Commercial

Thank you,

Kyle Phoenix


Thanks and enjoy! Don't forget to watch The Kyle Phoenix Show on Channel 56 (Time Warner), 83 (RCN), 34 (Verizon) and the Thursday/Friday 12am/midnight simulcast on http://kylephoenixsite.com/

The Condom Myth: One Size Doesn't Fit 75% of the Planet by Kyle Phoenix

Recently, by a well meaning student of mine who now works as a coordinator of a same gender support group, I was offered some condoms.  I'll be general here so as not to incur a lawsuit---we'll call them ABC Condoms.  I politely declined and he was aghast as part of my curriculum with him for years had entailed discussions around condoms not only for protection against sexually transmitted infections but also unintentional pregnancies (don't sleep on it some dudes like the pole and the hole as street slang has it).  I explained to him that I have never used "give away condoms" and never would.  Why not?  he inquired.  Because you get what you pay for and what you pay for might not be good enough.

Again, one of my non-rant rantings where I offer that we must all set a standard for ourselves. that precludes expediency for a level of critical thinking about our needs and personal protection.

What does all that hyperbolic jargon mean?

One, I can afford the comfort, fit and luxury of nicer condoms.  A hamburger from Wendy's is very different from a steak from Morton's and one pays accordingly.  Mass produced condoms are a way of cities and the CDC having action into problems of mass dispersing condoms for safety.  That doesn't mean that they're the best bet in town.  Also we don't talk about the fact that things generated for the masses have to be made cheaply and are to some degree targeted at those in poverty (remembering we're distinguishing poverty as not just lack of financial resources but also social resources (mentors, role models), mental (higher education), motivational (wisdom), etc.) so its a hit and miss attempt by government to curb some problems.

Also as a wonderful aside there is now studies going on as to the sizing of condoms.  The "myth" about Black and Latino men and penis size is grounded in truth mainly around the girth of a penis instead of some massive Mandingo promise.  Because of genetic/racial musculature, culture and health practices male penis size varies by race.  Black and Latino men tend to have (yes, I know there are exceptions---no need to whip them out at this point) more girth to their penises.  Caucasian men tend to not and Asian men tend to have smaller penises in totality.  Nature not me, God not judgment.

However that means that if a culture is dominated by another---say Caucasians in America then when they mass produce something whom will it be designed to fit---the Dominant Culture or the Others?  You guessed it----Caucasian penises are the template for the mass of free/government condoms in America.  However who is more likely to need/be in a form of poverty to have use of the condoms, particularly in urban areas---Black men and Latinos.

The studies now going on suggest that higher HIV/STI infections have to do with Black and Latino men not wanting to wear condoms because they're uncomfortable or tear due to girth.  Suddenly 1 out of 4 Black.Latino men being HIV+ by 25 makes sense.  It's not simply about education its also about not having proper pencils to write with----there's multiple puns in there.

So then what works if one size doesn't fit all?
Practice and like any other form of "clothing" we put on figuring out what your size is.  Interestingly enough women tend to get more sexual education and spend more time working out the vagaries of size and comfortable around things like Tampons and IUDs  because society is more supportive of women literally figuring it out. men though don't know to maybe invest in Magnums, Magnum XLs, Trojan, Ribbed, polyurethane condoms that are in no way latex based.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0032MIBE0/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B0032MIBE0&linkCode=as2&tag=theomnigroup-20
Next Blog entry: A running list of types of condoms for men.........yeah, it's a big one!


Thank you, I look forward to your emails and comments. And as always check your local listings for The Kyle Phoenix Show broadcast times in NYC. You can always find more information about me, topics and tips on relationships, finance and life strategies on http://kylephoenixsite.com

VideoLOG: Home Buying Programs For MSM

Thank you,

Kyle Phoenix

Enjoy and please Share this post on Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+, all platforms you can find me on. Don't forget to watch The Kyle Phoenix Show on Channel 56 (Time Warner), 83 (RCN), 34 (Verizon) and the Thursday/Friday 12am/midnight simulcast on http://kylephoenixsite.com/

Education: LGBTQ Young Adults Progressing Beyond Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj and Careers In Pornography by Kyle Phoenix

Original Posted Question/Point by a Young Man on Facebook:
Probably not going to win many friends with this post. But young gay/Bi men of color are not keeping up with their straight or gay white peers. I have met so many gay whites or straight Blacks and Latinos breaking ground in traditional WASP- only sectors. Yet every gay/Bi man of color I see under 35 is only in Fashion, Music, Entertainment, Adult Entertainment, or nightlife etc. Note this is not about money- because these fields bring a lot of revenue- but rather diversity and equality. I would like to see more doctors, lawyers, investment bankers, editor, Entrepreneurs, Accountants, etc I think this is directly correlated to a previous post about not many attending 4-year institutions of Higher Education.


The twofold minority (race/sexuality) issue generates a third mental/social sector---poverty. Over 50% to 70% of the young men and women you're talking about grow up in households in or held down by poverty. I used to be a Youth Coordinator for LGBT youth and all of the industries----entertainment, porn, fashion, modeling, acting, rapping, and singing were the aspirations because they demand no higher education. And because they may've come from a sector in life where higher education wasn't possible, its easier to dream of something that doesn't demand what you can't achieve. We think higher education is possible for all but it isn't. Not simply economically, also mentally. I have to have role models, a support system, mental health and enhancement plus financial wherewithal to get to college.

What invariably happens when I point this out is someone who grew up in a form of poverty will point out how they "made it". Two factors there---if 1 out of a million makes it that still leaves 999,999. Two, with only a few questions I can pinpoint and find the person/people that shifted that individual. If your maternal grandfather has a higher than middle school education, you're more likely to, if not, you won't. Why because your mother's father will see the value in his daughter having an education. If your mother has an education she, who spends the most time with you will naturally pass on and push her education. Those who can "think" more literally pass it on like a virus. So when it comes time for high school and then college, it's not such a massive mental, social, emotional leap.

I'm highly educated, pretty smart---have 99% of my working history been paid for my brain capacity vs. physical labor/tasks but when I trace back why its because my grandmother graduated high school in 1928 and because she wasn't entirely Black---she and her siblings were only 1/4 so they grew up middle class in Rhode Island because they weren't as racially offensive so they were allowed into the education system. My great-grandfather was full Narragansett Indian but high school educated so when it came time to send his children to school---though the pervasive idea was to merely educate your sons (he had 5), he allowed/pushed his 2 daughters to go as well. My great-great grandmother was only a 1/3 Black so she was educated thereby educating my great grandmother. My grandmother married a man who had graduated high school so that in a Jim Crow society they were in the 10 to 20% of the entire population of Blacks with high school or better. All 3 of their children graduated high school. My aunt went to college classes and was able to explain it to my mother, the youngest, who didn't know what college was but went. And boom---she met my father in college as his family had sent him from the South to attend here in NY.

Long, I know, but suddenly my interest/activity in education isn't simply up to my natural smarts its like the long line of someone in training. My parents get Masters degrees, Masters degrees then become the norm in my family. My children will at a minimum have the equivalent of a Masters degree----it's a gradation/increase line.

We think limited aspirations are inherent to the individual, most times it comes from the lack of knowing and therefore capability of one generation able to pass on to another.

What about exceptions?

The 4 ways out of poverty are Lotto (Windfall/Inheritance), Marry Into Money, Education and Superior Talent (Michael Jackson, etc.). Most can't/won't marry into money because there is a social class wall between the help and the owner despite race. Most men (and women) regardless of sexuality don't understand why they won't marry rich----because they don't, can't, won't be able to associate with them in the venues where the rich are and looking for spouses, plus they won't "fit" or understand the social rules someone from money might come from/have.

Lotto---the odds are 1 in 2 to 42 million of winning. (Windfall/Inheritance---most people from poverty—less than $18,000 a year earned as a individual, less than $50k to $80,000 earned as a family don’t know how to manage large sums of money in the millions. Therefore nearly 80% of all Lotto winners lose all of their money within 5 years. Think about your cousins, Facebook friends, family, exes coming to you as soon they hear about your new money.)

Superior Talent seems easy because of Michael Jackson and Tyra Banks and Nicki Minaj because there's generally no frame of reference from Expert Teachers or relatives as to how such Talent is developed----generally 10,000 hours of study to a craft in order to amount to excellent level---which is approximately 5 to 10 years of concentrated study---financial needs met, support systems met and most importantly higher level teachers/experts in the field of interest being able to teach someone level a to level b level c to d---critiquing. Michael had not only his parents pushing him but all of his siblings aspiring too so there was competition to be good---then Joe got them to Motown where experts---Smokey, Berry Gordy, Diana Ross could teach them the next levels (Diana got to Berry Gordy, Smokey got the Temptations and Berry Gordy, Berry Gordy got the chitlin circuit), Whitney Houston had her mother and Dionne Warwick to nurture those 10,000 hours and then Clive Davis and so on.

This is why most of the LGBT youth don't make it as models, actors, singers not because of a lack of possible talent but because talent isn't what it appears like in the finished product. Its work and nurturing in a concerted cultivating way----and if you come from people (1 in 7 chance you do) who don't know how to cultivate talent you won't be able to rise from out of the pack who are singing and dancing and voguing their hearts out. Modeling seems like its a good hit because one is cute but everyone at a certain age and lighting is cute---it takes networking to not be part of the pack and to network someone around you must have or teach you the skill of networking, professionalization and perseverance.

Now if you have no educational examples or family building push, no ability to discern how to network, no educational fostering, no role models/mentors, plus you have the natural discrimination of the society based on race and gender---you won't have a high number wanting to be in corporate america---one, mainly because they don't understand the rules---clothing, diction, actions, speaking up, being quiet, politics, networking, investing a decade in more education, degrees, constantly when the outcome is a decade away from the actual work of educating---you won't get an educated class of LGBT males and females.

I hate outlining problems---without adding solutions---how to break this? Mentorship and re-mediation---I had one student who entered the youth group in CUNY because his mother was educated and in spite of the foolishness and temptation and natural friendship peer pull he graduated college this past May. He was 1 of 80.

His degree is in Communications/Media and he continued working part time throughout school and did an internship with the MTA. Not exciting, not glamorous but workable.

Now a few of the others who came through who had completed college didn't stay because the "group" wasn't at their level---and that is wholly, humanly true. They're working and fine. So that's maybe 5 of the 80. The remaining 75----50 wanted to be singers and models and so on---so far HIV and porn and McJobs (no benefits, less than less an hour, no future, easily replaceable employees) has been the outcome in spite of my and the agency's efforts to enhance, train, change them.

The remaining 25 are still in Limbo of "maybe, maybe not.". Probably 2 of them will educate and use that education in a way that enhances their lives beyond the entertainment industry. Generally when you educate you start understanding that it's far more business than show in show business anyway so you realize the perform is the front prostitute and generally makes only 2% of the revenue anyway.

Unless one masters the business side of show business and then, then you start making the real money---but that's a paradigm shift from slave to owner. A slave is thrilled to buy a slice of bread, a master wants to know the recipe so they can open a bakery and sell slices of bread. But if you don't have parents, family, mentors to teach you the paradigm shift you'll maintain being a slave.

So the LGBT youth what you're seeing is slave mentality over multiple racial generations without mediation to break that mental chain.

Thank you for reading,
Kyle Phoenix
Email: kylephoenixshow@aol.com
Website: http://kylephoenixsite.com/
Blog: http://kylephoenixshow.blogspot.com/2012
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Sexuality: Anal Sex Positions

Anal Sex Positions

Most genital sex positions can be adapted anally, whether the participants are male, female, or transgendered especially from behind, although some with difficulty because of the different angles for anal versus vaginal entry. Also vaginal masturbatory positions, such as fingering or fisting, can be adapted anally by males and females.



Missionary anal: The receptive partner lies on his or her back. In order to achieve optimal alignment, the receptive partner's legs should be in the air with the knees drawn towards the chest. Some sort of support (such as a pillow) under the receptive partner's hips might also be useful. The penetrative partner positions him/herself between the receptive partner's legs. This position is often cited as good for beginners, because it allows them to relax more fully than is usual in the doggy position.

Doggy style: The receptive partner is either on all fours, or lies on his or her stomach. The penetrative partner approaches and penetrates from the rear. This position maximizes the depth of penetration, which may be desirable by either or both partners, but can pose the risk of pushing against the sigmoid colon. If the receptive partner is male, this position increases the chances of stimulating the prostate. This position makes easier a more vigorous thrusting action. A variation is the leapfrog position, in which the receptive partner angles the torso downward, with the face resting on (for example) a pillow. 

Another "rear entry" position involves the receptive partner lying flat and face down, with the penetrative partner straddling the thighs of the receiving partner. This can produce sensations different from the doggy position above.
Spooning: The partners lie on their sides facing the same direction. This allows the receptive partner to greatly control initial entry and the depth, speed and force of subsequent thrusting.


Cowboy/cowgirl or reverse cowboy/cowgirl: In these positions the receptive partner is on top of and straddling the penetrative partner either facing the penetrative partner or facing away ("reverse") from the penetrative partner. This is a great beginning position, as this position allows the receptive partner more control over the depth, rhythm and speed of penetration. More specifically, the receptive partner can slowly push his/her anus down on the penis, allowing time for the anus muscles to relax around the penis before the receiving partner decides to start riding up and down on the penis.

Pick-up – Done on bed for greater intimacy, but can also be done standing up. With the receiving partner on her or his back and the penetrating partner on his knees, the penetrating partner puts the receiving partner's legs on top of his shoulders. The penetrating partner leans in to kiss while inserting his penis into receiving partner's anus. The penetrating partner then wraps arms underneath the receiving partner, lifts the receiving partner off the bed while leaning back for balance. The receiving partner masturbates with one hand while wrapping the other hand around the penetrating partner's shoulders. The penetrating partner is supporting almost the entire weight of the receiving partner's body, and moves the body up and down on top of his penis until ejaculation. 

Lean back and let him ride – Done on bed. The penetrating partner lounges on bed, puts arms behind him, so that torso is raised off the bed. The receiving partner then squats/lowers himself or herself onto the penis of the penetrating partner. The receiving partner, or rider, then lays down on the bed with the penetrating partner's penis still inside his or her anus and bends the knees, placing feet on each side of the penetrating partner's waist. The rider then uses his or her legs to buck the ass up and down on top of the penetrating partner's penis, while the shoulders and upper back are still resting on the bed. The penetrating partner lounges back and watches while the rider masturbates and squirms/bucks on top of the penetrating partner's penis. 

Cowboy and horse – Done on floor, bed, backyard lawn or the open plains. Also, good for big receiving partners and smaller penetrating partners. The receiving partner gets down on his hands and feet (not knees) and sticks ass into air with his knees bent. Penetrating partner inserts penis into receiving partner's ass and then leans chest down over the back of the receiving partner, wrapping one arm around receiving partner's chest and grabbing the receiving partner's penis with the other hand. The receiving partner then straightens knees and lifts ass into air while the penetrating partner still inside is lifted up as well. Performed best if penetrating partner can wrap left leg around left leg of receiving partner, and similarly with the right leg -- in this way the receiving partner is completely holding up the weight of the penetrating partner and can buck around like a horse while the penetrating partner masturbates the receiving partner. 

Cradle – Done in chair, or couch. The penetrating partner sits on couch and the receiving partner sits horizontally in the lap of the penetrating partner. The penetrating partner inserts penis into anus of the receiving partner while he wraps one arm around the shoulders/back of the receiving partner and the other arm around the knees/legs, and picks up receiving partner to craddle him or her. The receiving partner masturbates while the penetrating partner rocks the receiving partner back/forth and up/down on top of his penis. 

The dancing dolphin – Done in a spa or swimming pool. The penetrating partner seats him or herself on spa/pool step, so that lower back is arched yet firm. The receiving partner then slowly sits herself or himself onto the penis/strap-on of the penetrating partner. The receiving partner then swivels in the water with the penetrating partner's penis/strap-on still deep inside her or his anus; using the spa/pool water to aid in anal lubrication and cooling. The penetrator then slides off the step to thrust the anal probe deep into his/her partners ass, while the receiving partner treads water and masturbates.

Thank you, I look forward to your emails and comments. And as always check your local listings for The Kyle Phoenix Show broadcast times in NYC. You can always find more information about me, topics and tips on relationships, finance and life strategies on http://kylephoenixsite.com

Short Story from Escapades: The Eiffel Tower

The Eiffel Tower

by Kyle Phoenix

Annie was a good girl.

Annie snuck into her mother's room and stole ten dollars.

Annie took a pencil from the teacher's pocketbook during recess.

Annie took a young man's heart in Rome and gave it a giggle.

Annie strangled the life out of a when she was 10.

Annie shot a gun when she was 14.

Annie considered suicide when she was 5.

Annie started taking little yellow pills when she was 9.

Annie loved.

Annie would laugh when her boyfriend dropped his trousers.

Annie smelled like lilacs and onions.

Annie bit clean through her lip when she stole someone's son.

Annie stole a Spaniard's virginity when she was 17.

Annie stole the class flag and burned it after school.

Annie stole a look at her baby before she sold it.

Annie colored her hair red when she worked the night shift.

Annie licked with a goose bumped tongue and sucked with a sigh.

Annie took a bath in her clothes.

Annie never wore knickers.

Annie watched it from her window across the street.

Annie decided to steal the Eiffel Tower.

Annie took a bubble bath with pants on.

Annie stole the Eiffel Tower from Hallmark at the age of 37 in regret of her life's unknown possibilities.

Annie cried herself to sleep every night.

Annie wanted to go.

Annie died two days ago.

Annie asked her husband why his organ was so small.

Annie regretted every moment of her life.

Annie debated killing herself then decided to wait until her mother died.

Annie sat in the middle of Batavia, children at her heels, husband around her finger, Eiffel Tower in her pocket, dog the backseat, sex in the past tense, debt swimming onto her shore, breasts having grown and dipped before her eyes, trees lines around her legs and stomach, pity in everyman's eye, and she knew. 

She knew. 

She would never go to the Eiffel Tower with fresh love in her heart and hair that flowed freely.

And that's what killed Annie.

Thank you, I look forward to your emails and comments. And as always check your local listings for The Kyle Phoenix Show broadcast times in NYC. You can always find more information about me, topics and tips on relationships, finance and life strategies on http://kylephoenixsite.com

Short Story from Escapades: I Awaken

                                           

  I Awaken

by Kyle Phoenix

(originally published 1993,1995 and 1996 and part of the Escapades compilation by Mr. Doyle)

          My eyes are closed.  I awaken.  I lay for a second, still, trapped in a dream.  I patiently await to wake but I am already.  My mind searches for what is missing.  My sex.  I let my hand slide under the covers and am stopped by my body as it betrays me.  I reach farther and what allowed others to see me is gone.  I touch farther, no longer my sex a direction but now a depth.  My fear is enraptured by my joyful thirst for knowledge.

          I reach deeper until I am lost within myself.  I am shocked and laughing and angry and darkly pleasured.

          My hand is engulfed by another tool for life, deeper within my depth, life's possibilities.

          I stand differently.  Muscles that were once a thought away are now miles beyond my mind's reach.  I hurt.  I hurt because I'm trying to command the past.

          I look.  I stare.  I touch.  I hold my new self with both hands and find a new tenderness, a new wholeness.  What I felt minutes ago was missing is now found but it isn't what I lost.

          I smell different.  With my musk, it's strength is gone.  It's still strong but sleek, linear, far more subtle.  I am now sublime in my bodies perfume.

          I dress differently.  I am freed out of slacks...but I am endangered in that freedom.

          I walk with eyes on me.  I never noticed how many eyes there are.  Now I am a thing.  I am where my sweater rises and my skirt dips.  Where the seams of my pants tighten.  Now I am a mystery and when I am not, I am a stereotype.  I am a competitor when I thought I was a compliment.  A synergy of the inimical.

          I talk and am not heard.  When they do hear, I am wrong.  Dismissed.  What was once expected that I refine and focus in the past I am now excluded for.  Others try and determine my "no's" and "yeses".

          I earn but there is so much they demand I acquiesce for my earnings.  I must wear that.  I must believe or perpetuate a lie about age.  I must propagandize what is not my weakness.  I must not call wrong wrong or right right.

          I love.  But again I must give fiercely, totally, individually.  That is my place.  My role.  He has his choice.  I am their choices.

          I tear and there is agony.

          " My son, " he says.

          And I hate both with all of this love.  Am I just a go-between, a vessel, a tunnel for one man to come into and another to come out of ?

          I love them with this hatred, with this agony, this depth, this tool, this exclusion, this selling, this right right, this wrong wrong, this soft, this strong, this lack of direction.

          With my eyes open, I awaken.


Thank you, I look forward to your emails and comments. And as always check your local listings for The Kyle Phoenix Show broadcast times in NYC. You can always find more information about me, topics and tips on relationships, finance and life strategies on http://kylephoenixsite.com