Optimism is not delusion. There are all of these studies in the book Grit by Angela Duckworth. Optimism is the learned art of positive choice vs negative perspective choice. It is also a key component in resilience which is then a foundation of grit. You cannot be a cynic or pessimist and have grit. Which is fascinating because we normally see grit as dark and intense, when in fact it’s simple direct and undercover. I learned the definition and component of grit from Duckworth’s book this past week and that I’m like a 4.7–4.8 on the Grit Scale that she gives to West Point candidates, athletes, elite school students. I actually carry around with me in my wallet the 7 character traits that make a student succeed from Paul Tough’s book, How Children Succeed. Grit is one of them.
That doesn’t mean one isn’t pragmatic nor aware of challenges and obstacles. Being pragmatic one weighs whether or not to say climb a mountain and the equipment needed. Optimism is that one can climb it to a summit or a peak.
I’m a pragmatic optimist. I teach and when I look at students I generally have a flat belief that they can accomplish all of what I am offering or the task/goal at hand. But I know it is accomplished with listening to me and other teachers, tenacity, patience, resilience, interest and gratitude. This varies by grade level, GED programs, university level students, professional developments for teachers/administrator or workshops that I do for adults.
I know pragmatically that most won’t be able to accomplish any of those easily. It doesn’t mean that I decide not to teach, I may consider or reach out to other sources or my bag of tricks for other strategies to implement. Have I met “unteachable” students? Yes, people sometimes don’t want “it”, not due to any fault of my own or in the curriculum/materials but in themselves. The hardest part of being a teacher is setting a pragmatic evaluative line within your head to understand when you’ve reached that. When it’s them and not me. That’s generally what burns teachers out, when you don’t have that line in your head that it’s the student, not you and you have to change methodology or you may have to remove them from a class because you need the group to move on.
I am optimistic in the sense that I believe that the experience itself may alter some of their perspective, shift it enough that later on they will absorb and change.
I was walking along in Harlem, as I often am, this time with a friend. It was a cool summer night and I had nothing better to do so we’d walked from 170th to 116th. At 116th a young lady came up to me and said hi, Kyle, you might remember me. I thought she was vaguely familiar, which happens a lot because between regular classes, consulting and teacher trainings I meet a lot of people a week, sometimes as many as 300 new ones a week.
She goes on to explain that she was in one of my classes at Columbia awhile ago and gave out a handout on financial management as well as mentioned Robert Kiyosaki’s books. She dropped out because juggling childcare and work was a lot with school. She was aiming to get her GED. However she’d remembered my book suggestions and went and got the books and was thoroughly enjoying them,. She explained that she hadn’t understood or planned her time and commitment well before but was going to make another attempt. I talked to her for a few minutes, encouraged her to keep up her pursuit, even if it’s piece by piece over time, she hugged me gratefully and left. I have no idea what her name was and I only vaguely remembered her then.
My friend was like does that happen a lot and I was like yes, as a teacher, you’re a symbol, an icon belief of what they hope to do, but not always the end-all administrator of the accomplishment. So of course she would remember me, because I was only one teacher, one person, one symbol spewing all this information and encouragement, she was one of a thousand faces in the past year absorbing some, little or none of it. But I stood in front of the room because I believed that like light, the optimism of their abilities would illuminate within them and they’d at least try.
(Yes, it can be weird and feel a little bit of what it must feel like for a celebrity but I”m gratified that though people have experienced some sort of internal emotional thing that I wasn’t necessarily aiming for, it is of substance and not because of some odd role on TV or a song I sang a thousand times. Ironically, being on TV has exponentially increased this, at least here in NYC, and gives an interesting insight into positive popularity with value ad “celebrity fame” and the different caliber of people who approach me having seen me from that venue. People are in general more thoughtful and reserved but insistent.)
That’s what optimism is—-that this young lady is developing her grit and ability to complete her GED work which will lead her to higher education. That’s what I’m doing in the front of the room, teaching not only subject matter but optimism, a positive self view that if I will take my time to show up for strangers, they can show up for themselves.
She was probably in a group of early morning, 11 am classes I taught when I first started. I’m not a morning person. I barely remember the campus, much less the building or students. lol
He’s very optimistic about his cosplay and courageous to go as Dazzler. Let your freak flag fly. I like the intentional or unintentional baldness but having a beard as further contrariness within a budget. Very optimistic.
Smile, Kyle
KylePhoenixShow@Gmail.com
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