Kyle Phoenix Answers: Why does my boyfriend want an open relationship? He says he doesn't want to lose me. He also says it's not something he always thinks about and not to worry.

Within the past 100 years the westernized concept of relationships has changed. Its changed because people can express with less stigma who they internally are and what they want and there's a more expressive society to match ones feelings..

A big shift that most people in relationships are coming to understand is that a partners sexuality is like a circle being expanded to include you but you're not the totality of the circle nor the lifetime focus of it.

This means people will have to negotiate that the term cheating really has to do with the capitalistic notions and integrity of morality to honesty about ones sexuality with a partner. I don't think people can cheat, as their body and sexuality is their own but they can be out of integrity with a partner by not announcing, exploring and negotiating their full spectrum needs and desires.

Poly relationships will be more the norm as more people admit curiosity, inclusion, interest.
So back to you, the personal.

You're going to have to negotiate with him about what tho means for you with the implied understanding that a hard no means your relationship is on a timer. It would be as if he made you wear a chastity belt and kept the key. Mandates and controls on sexuality don't work.

Negotiation between the two of you about limits, expectations, roles, inclusion, and exclusion will work.

Two things, relationships that negotiate these kinds of arrangements tend to be stronger because there is both honest about feelings and the partners genuinely want their loved one to feel good in the sexual expression that may not include them or includes another.

The second is you can't free him and sit twiddling your thumbs. His ticket is matched for you. This will also make it real for him. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Which then brings up your desires and interests. Don't rush to be all button down.

Lastly, most relationships aren't forever. This one probably isn't. You can use it, radical honesty, integrity and exploration to find yourself as well.