Kyle Phoenix, Writer and student & Instructor at Columbia University
I come off as cold and ruthless.
I am pragmatic and ruthless. I can't watch The Walking Dead because I'm not sure what side I should be on. By that I mean when I consider surviving the apocalypse, as one does on the bus, I see if a line had to crossed I would do it far quicker and more permanently than my peers.
My stepfather once called me diabolical in court. I then got to cross examine him for an hour...judge, his lawyer, audience, bailiff, whole thing. It was literally the biggest mental-sexual highlight of that year. I don't talk about it a lot because I want it to stay pristine, sacrosanct.
I've been asked several times, years apart if I was the Devil. Its a cherished moment for me.
My mothers nickname for me was Grade A Cunt---I'm sure from some excessive childhood correction. I was the grammar police for awhile as a child. I'm still good for a well vs good or better vs best.
In romantic relationships, I'm dense even when paying attention. The best partners have said to me lets fuck. Being coy, indirect, unsure, closeted, submissive, reticent, conflicted...ill whip out my big long black...magnifying glass....and examine you, silent.
If I'm attracted to someone I have trouble watching their movies or tv shows because I'm trying to see them too intensely. Adam Rodriguez. I'll never see Criminal Minds, had trouble with Ugly Betty. Took one for the team for Empire. I have no idea if he's a good actor. I couldn't watch Vanity, Jayne Kennedy, Jane Badler, Kirstie Alley, Bruce Willis, Idris Elba. I actually dozed off during Mandela and had a dirty dream about Idris.
I rarely have dirty dreams. Like 1 every two years.
I used to wear a fanny pack full of condoms at sex parties/orgies and pass them to participants.
I wuv puppies. Puppy butts. Human baby butts. I'm often butt watching. Sometimes sexual, most times not. I try to butt watch movies. Not easy.
I have thousands of books in storage and thousands more on my wish list on Amazon. My dream is to rent a suite at the Four Seasons for a year and press send all to every item on my lists (or hire a temp to send and edit list...organized madness I enjoy). Oh my god. I would be invisible to everyone but room service for that year and maybe celebrity lookalike escorts.
I have a hard time with the minor details of life like money. It's a distraction and I find greed distasteful. I aim for enough to use but think ill need more for life/children.
I'm willing to shack up again but me and Oprah are tight on that no marriage thing. Plus taxes, trust funds, prenups, much better ways to partner legally.
I'd like to try polyamory. But I need a space with my own two or three rooms, office, meditation space, library and separate bathrooms.
I have issues with other people and bathroom sounds.
I laugh a lot but surprisingly I spend a good deal of time silent. I tease and joke gently with cashiers. I shop like a guided missile because I have decided what I want and scoped out the store before I purchase. I am a salesperson nightmare because I want to be left alone, I have questions and I say ill return to buy it. The freaky thing is I always return.
I rarely carry cash. I know my balance to the penny and the closest freak out you'll see is if my card doesn't work because I've organized money to be present.
I need to sleep twelve hours at least one day a week. Normally a tight five or reasonable seven is good.
I've never done drugs.
I didn't drink until I was 25.
When intoxicated I become extroverted and verbose about finance and psychological insights. I become more mentally laser than normal sunburst.
I didn't drink until I was 25.
When intoxicated I become extroverted and verbose about finance and psychological insights. I become more mentally laser than normal sunburst.
Max Greenfield. I've only watched two episodes of New Girl due to his hotness.
I'm more like Eli Pope inside but my educational work of swooping in to schools is like Olivia Pope.
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