Rarely. Not because of the size or intensity of the opposition but because an Intj is usually aware of the dragon before the dragon is aware of them. Say it's something as mundane as a job interview. Why get nervous? The decision is two way. Whether they want me and whether or not I want them. Say they don't want me, then hopefully I will learn from the experience. Or in the discussion I realize my lack of interest in them, again a learning experience.
I review this thought while getting dressed. Resume and outcome: I will learn something.
I once interviewed for a three month paralegal position applying Think and Grow Rich (action pack) job interviewing tactic of creating a ten to fifteen page laminated presentation called A Brief Qualification of Experience of not only my qualifications but history of the company and what my contribution could be to that department. Each presentation was individually addressed to the four attorneys who would be interviewing me. They passed me around to seven people, probably to just talk to someone who had put in that much effort. They passed because they felt that position would be too short for my skills, I passed on them because it was on the 65th floor. But the agency that sent me got a copy and such a good impression that they made me a manager on a shift of securities litigation paralegals for Enron case.
Ok... Violence.
I lived in Jamaica estates, a fairly upper class area of Queens and was walking my date to the train at 2am, he was like 6'7, Italian, we're minding our own business. Van skids to a stop in front of us, four guys jump out. One with a video camera and another with a baseball bat. I calmly told my date to get behind me and I stood facing them all and beckoned for them to come into the abyss for at least one of you will die here before I do. Now I was to my own surprise even, breathing normally. My reaction was so different than what was expected that they hesitated then got back in the van and left. My date damn near peed himself.
I lived in Jamaica estates, a fairly upper class area of Queens and was walking my date to the train at 2am, he was like 6'7, Italian, we're minding our own business. Van skids to a stop in front of us, four guys jump out. One with a video camera and another with a baseball bat. I calmly told my date to get behind me and I stood facing them all and beckoned for them to come into the abyss for at least one of you will die here before I do. Now I was to my own surprise even, breathing normally. My reaction was so different than what was expected that they hesitated then got back in the van and left. My date damn near peed himself.
Ok...insanity. I'm standing in line at the jail library, waiting out my misdemeanor days for getting into an argument with a neighbor. I'd forgotten that I was Black and the township not. My wacky twenties. Guards wander away to chat and a prisoner starts to pace, muttering to himself. Lets call him Earl, an average looking White guy. But he's killed four people and was awaiting trial...and liked to read. His mother's visitation rights were revoked and trial was about to start. Earl says he's very upset, lots of anxiety. Me and the three other prisoners are watching him meltdown. He says he doesn't feel loved.
I tell Earl I cannot sanction nor judge his actions but he is still a child of God, a portion of the universe and therefore I love him and can extend the love of my connection to him and God. I open my arms and hug him until he calms down then I tell him to get back in line.
The others are gob smacked. I explain that if/when that motherfucker goes ballistic, whose he going to remember favorably, the one who extended him love or not?
For the rest of the time, a couple weeks I was there Earl was a sweetheart to me, coming to play chess, sharing soda and chips with me.
I learned particularly from that jail experience, my little corporate overly educated self in jail hell to use every one of the 48 laws of power and to extend genuine love to humans.
From overall life, and very intense, honest parents, as an only child, I was raised that I was it. I am my own savior...and to never be an easy kill.
I once had a very bombastic, Klingon boss. I was bluntly telling him something, about his being jacket black, Nigerian African dark but not American Black therefore the staff resenting his intensity. He asked why i wasn't. I explained that I wasn't raised as a socially intimidated negro, I am sovereign unto myself and what was the worse he could do? Fire me?
The worse that can happen at a firing is they drag you into the parking lot and shoot you in the back of the head. That's some mafia, intelligence agency crap. Not a rinkdink nonprofit.
Have the worse outcome in mind as a possibly. I've told bullies that sure you can beat me to death but right now, even if you grind me up my last defiant thought will be no. Even if you force me to say yes, it's only because I'm thinking no.
- You must be willing to do the unexpected. Hug a psychopath.
You must be willing to experiment with a job interview to test out a book theory.
You must be willing to offend, kill, laugh, love and go into light and darkness with equal fervor and detachment.
Intimidating comes from the other stripping the target of the ability to creatively project outcomes of their own devices, ultimately.
That's how an intj thinks.
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