Tell a man no.
This seems weird, I know. But I have learned to discern a man’s character simply tell him no.,
No, you’re not interested in a date. No, you don’t want to have sex with him. No, you don’t agree with his opinion.
Then wait.
It doesn’t have to be snarky or sarcastic just a casual no.
Immediately after that he will either congenially accept your answer but leave it open to returning for more discussion, be friendly, be polite.
Or…
He will call you a lesbian, a bitch, a dyke, a fag, fat, dumb, stupid——he will attack you.
The fragile male ego can’t handle no.
The strong male ego wants you to be your own person, might still want to persuade you but doesn’t need to debase you.
Tell a man no and watch and listen to how he reacts.
Works every time.
ADDENDUM…….
One, everyone assumes that I’m “telling” someone anything. If the blinky box computer so deeply informs your reality, it’s time to turn the blinky box off.
Two, one assumes that I’m telling this specifically to women. I personally, as a man use this with other men too. Men don’t hear other men equally as obtusely as they don’t/ignore women.
Three, manipulation is simply a deft skill—-I am manipulating my body to manipulate the keyboard right now. Life is not a contest of expected fairness nor parity (Men who want immediate social satisfaction often want “fairness”. Fairness is an immature concept that we have to teach children doesn’t exist. Justice does, fairness doesn’t. Here’s a a thing I use with male students who object to reality—-When they say something isn’t fair, I ask them what planet they live on. They say Earth. I point out they don’t live on the planet Fair.).
Communication often requires creating spaces, to gauge safety and character, whether male or female. Have you considered what kind of man, his character, if he can’t take no for an answer? Go down to your local police precinct and ask them how many men didn’t take no for an answer that are in jail?
No is often seen by men as a rejection of their identity and desires, if their sense of self/their ego is fragile to rejection.
Interestingly, which was brought up before, most men who reply to this question in the comments with frustration or disagreement, are having trouble with the overall concept of No being used rather than communicatively suggesting investigating or respecting the No. The implication being that they are the men to whom a No, of this nature, by it’s very design, is designed to weed out: The male over reactors to No.
Lastly, this could be a form of confirmation bias—-a man assuming that Yes is the answer they should receive, based upon past experience. If you say No to them then you’re placing them up against their level of confirmation bias to themselves—-which is of course related to inductive reasoning. The interesting psychological portion is that it’s not that you’re pitting someone against a direct defense as much as against their own historical self.
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