Kyle Phoenix, I have written dozens of books, taught thousands of relationship workshops.
I love them, sometimes more when I'm done. It's like I did fifty points of love with them, break up and I still have seventy points left and I have to expend those points. I also miss the close friendship. I think the other guy or girl is hurt, exasperated, trying to get my attention: "I say ok, no more romance....do you still want to go to Aruba? Since we're single, maybe we'll both get lucky."
And they're aghast.
And they're aghast.
I'm like, the romantic feelings are capped but that doesn't mean I don't like you or even love you still. Aruba?
Break up seems to mean dead to people. Which I don't get. Like building a house then abandoning it. I'm like I have plenty of love acreage for plenty of houses! Which I guess trivializes the other, huh?
Once, I threw a guy out and within twelve hours called a casual ex over for sex to confirm that it was the other ex who was bad at sex, not me. Confirmed, it was him.
I seem to attract the kind who "will talk to you in time" after a break up and I'm normal the next day. I think not only am I open to polyamory but I don't have a love shut off. I have done the whole bad singing under the window serenading, floral bouquets, paintings, thousand dollar romantic dinner, a coworker talked me out of a BMW on a exes birthday—-I was going to have it parked in front of his house with a giant red bow—- but then my mental files are so thorough it messes them up that I was so good and accurate to them.
I've tried to seek out more emotionally attaching folk but hungry, greedy and crazy are in abundance amongst men and women.
My detachment seems to draw them in, perhaps the intensity in seeing is there attempt to pierce and then I reciprocate and they freak out and bolt.
Break ups for me are confusing, I've elected to focus on my work for awhile, it always suffers or I minimize it to accommodate mates.
I'm of the thought now of children yes and make enough money to buy a partner where it's all laid out with financial agreements and incentives....and structures for breaking up.
You know who I envy? This is silly————-but Madonna and her boy toys.
Do your life work, raise your kids, hire a bf for a year or two, keep it moving. I like the intjness of it.
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