Kyle Phoenix Answers: I'm a White male and I feel I have an underlying preference for Black women when it comes to dating. Does that make me racist/a fetishist?

Sure, you are expressing a racial preference and a fetish is merely something different about a target that turns you on more than what would considered your baseline, black women vs. white women.

But why is that problematic? Your/our engendered racism?
You were raised in a country that for hundreds of years deliberately constructed legally, socially, morally, spiritually and pseudoscience, biologically an engendering to your thinking and actions about a false construct, race, simply more melanin.

How could you not be racially oriented? You've experienced privilege and entitlement all your life from your personal classification. One in just the perception of black and white, that is racist because it puts that racial construct tarp onto people. And two because of the discussion of choosing, there was no reference to how your choosing is received by the black or white women, that's an assumption of power, privilege to choose.

But again, born into a environment that has constantly enforced this construct you and I and everyone else will develop some marked dissonance about race and ethics.
A fetish is simply a preference beyond the baseline. You like women, that's your baseline. You are more turned on by black women, your fetish.

Again, so what?

But just to go all Columbia on it, here's what you didn't say that implies racialized preference:
I find native American, east Indian, dark Latino, African women attractive.
. You didn't specify skin tone. You defined women into two racial construct and culturalted contexts---white and black. And even went so far to highlight and dismiss stereotypes but you never specified hue intensity.

But we all knew what you meant because black and white are not just casual terms they are engendered terms. Like you didn't say I prefer pecan colored or almond or chestnut turns me on because then it would bring in the Mediterranean and women who have tans. You said black.
Again, its been engendered within us all for hundred of years, ain't none of us going to wake up with access to the internet and be "woke" all of a sudden. 

 the language itself is racialized that we use because it lumped together by melanin rather than saying Caribbean or Southern or Mexican or aboriginal women, black is race and culture and we all knew what you meant.

So what? Let's say amazingly enough you didn't escape the indoctrination program of every human being on earth over the past five years specifically to the definition of what we mean by black and white? Let's imagine that startlingly you got caught up, evidenced just by your languaging?

Let's just sit with that for a moment............
.......
.......
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Did anyone die? Profuse bleeding?
Try this on: We're all racist to a varying degree, the variation number is dependent on how we examine critically, through critical thinking, that impulse and thought and we lose points in one direction vs another based on our resistance to accepting that. And in that resistance not being conscious of when our racialization pops up and to what degree. That's the dangerous space, when we just race people without examining the thought and then pile on other stuff.

It makes white folk feel good to not be classified as racist because its now a slur but not holding it and saying" yeah, I am and I actively am conscious of it and work to make sure I mute it, like anger or procrastination, is what makes me better after hundreds of years of the reality around me and my entire lineage being inundated with racing folk."

I would say though that some black women will have a problem with it and maybe you'll find a partner to discuss this with because we, blackened folk, find it suspect and creepy because loving, sexually interested white folk coming towards us, especially the males has never boded well. When white folk talk to us and flirt with us and are Joe cool about it and let us, over time, ask them about the preference then we can trust its still some jungle fever but not a terminal case.

What also helps is when you've spent time and money on a lot of black literature, books, go to our culture events and neighborhoods without needing one of us as an escort. When you show up smiling and dancing alone at a Kanye concert or to a serious jazz club or to a book club reading Sula, we see you're serious about experiencing us and not just fetishistic.

You talk about black women but have you invested in any of the issues that affect and concern them or you just trying to have your own Scandal moments? When you want one of us instead of Barbie but you're not actively volunteering at minority schools, at demonstrations, talking openly about the continuous efforts to curb racialized thinking then we give a cultural and collective side eye.

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